Warning! This episode contains a plethora of chewing sounds. Don't say we didn't warn you.
We're coming to you today from a bed of rose petals as we taste small swaths of chocolate products and try not to wrong the British spirit. We realize these creme not cream candies are 1000% sugar and are comprised of chunky shapes, juicy squirts and nubbly things then get lyrical once we abandon all hope of a Royal Warrant and discover a surprise sponsor but please know that we are NOT elephants so do not @ us.
Molly's Now but Wow! - The Body is Not an Apology, by Sonya Renee Taylor
Matthew Amster-Burton 0:04
I'm Matthew and I'm Molly, and this is spilled milk, the show where we cook something delicious. Take a deep dive into the into the barrel of corporate history. Yep,
Molly 0:12
and sometimes we re emerge with a mouthful of chocolate. And
Matthew Amster-Burton 0:16
that's because today we're talking about I wrote this. I called the episode American Cadbury, like, American Gangster.
Speaker 1 0:23
So that's right, that's right, American Beauty. Yeah, it's like, American Beauty. We are lying here on a bed of rose petals. We sure are, as we do every week. Oh, yeah. Like, how else are you gonna podcast? I don't know.
Molly 0:37
I mean, we've always done it this way. Abby, more rose petals. So here, let's explain what today's episode is, Cadbury. We all know Cadbury, right? It is a British company that makes chocolate,
Matthew Amster-Burton 0:50
yes, but we here in the United States don't get access to all of their products. We got some of their seasonal products, like the cream egg, and then we get, like a line of kind of low to middle end chocolate bars, that's
Molly 1:05
right, that's right. And what makes this a little bit of, kind of a weird episode for us to navigate is that, so Cadbury is a British company, but it's been owned for a while now by an American company. Oh, I didn't even know that. Oh yes, first by Kraft Foods. Well, actually, yeah, is Mondelez involved? So, yes, it is, yeah, okay, we're gonna get, there's so much corporate history. But anyway, basically this British company is owned by an American company, and even though they make tons of products that are sold worldwide, we can only get a certain, you know, swath of them in the US, and those are the ones we're discussing. So we're discussing a small swath, yeah, so please don't at us. Yeah, as people used to say in the aughts, yeah, please don't audit us.
Matthew Amster-Burton 1:56
Especially don't do that. And like, our rose petal budget is not gonna pass muster.
Molly 2:00
No, no, no. It is not a business expense. No,
Matthew Amster-Burton 2:06
all this to say, but if you want to, like, do the business, but please, bed of rose petals is the best place to do
Molly 2:11
that. But please don't add us, because I know we're leaving out a lot of Cadbury products. When someone
Matthew Amster-Burton 2:16
talks about a bed of roses, like in the Screaming Trees song
Molly 2:20
Toby song, lay in a bed of rose as something, right?
Matthew Amster-Burton 2:23
They mean rose petals right now, like a whole, like, with, like, the stems and the thorns and stuff. Wouldn't that be
Molly 2:29
great, though? What they meant was, I mean, it was sort of like a bed of nails. I mean, those things have kind of come in for meditation purposes. The old like Shakti mat, wow. You know what I always maybe people want a bed of roses with the thorns and all Do you do you have, like, a thorn mat that you lie on? Sometimes, you know, during COVID, I bought one of those Thorn mats. This
Matthew Amster-Burton 2:53
is a thing I didn't know existed until now. I'm not surprised that I could sort of picture it. I did. I did. Did you learn from this experience that every Rose has its Thorn,
Molly 3:02
I sure did, and let's just stop talking about it now.
Matthew Amster-Burton 3:06
Okay, great. All right, so American Cadbury. What's on your memory lane?
Molly 3:12
Well, obviously, cream eggs, cream eggs and cream eggs, which, when I was contributing my thoughts to this agenda, I typed as cream eggs spelled like heavy cream, and that just looked so wrong. I mean cream eggs, you have to spell it, C, R, E, M, E, or it looks horrendous. So
Matthew Amster-Burton 3:33
our friends at the candy is dandy podcast, they have like, a long running thing about whether it's fats, cream or creme, which I think they're joking. But then when I start to think about it like it could be Creme Eggs, no, only
Molly 3:46
if you're French, okay, Creme Eggs, because in France, you would pronounce this word, creme creme, but if Allah creme, but here in American Cadbury, here in American Cadbury, we pronounce it cream,
Matthew Amster-Burton 4:00
okay, I also remember cream eggs. I don't know if I've ever liked them. We don't have any today because Easter is over. I just
Molly 4:07
want to also observe how weird it is that you're calling them cream eggs. They're called Cadbury cream eggs. Oh, can't leave off the Cadbury. I
Matthew Amster-Burton 4:15
think I can. Like, I think if you say cream eggs, I know what you mean, especially because, oh, I'm
Molly 4:19
thinking, like, I don't know, some, like, weird scramble
Matthew Amster-Burton 4:23
Yeah, okay, so, I mean, it probably would be pretty good if you put cream in scrambled eggs somehow, right? Oh, yeah, that's not what we're talking today. I don't know if I've ever liked the cream eggs. I have always liked the caramel eggs, even though they're incredibly sweet. I remember, and I know that this is American Cadbury, but I remember there being Cadbury vending machines on the tube platforms in London. The first time I went to London in like the early 2000s late 90s, when I was in like junior high, or maybe like late elementary school, Caramello was considered like a great candy bar to get your hands on. I remember.
Molly 4:59
Sure whatever, whatever they did with the Caramello ads, it was very effective, because I noticed Caramello too. Oh
Matthew Amster-Burton 5:06
yeah, I'm sure there was, like, flowing, oozing caramel. Oh, I mean, it was intoxicating, which is really accurate, because I remember it being a very messy bar that, like you would, you would break off a square and, like, caramel would just get all over your fingers. I remember
Molly 5:19
saying to my mom that we, like, definitely had to try this new Caramello thing. But was it always we've got a little stack
Matthew Amster-Burton 5:27
has definitely changed. And it it was available in, like, regular candy bar size. This is, like, the three and a half ounce rectangle. Can
Molly 5:34
I say? Because I thought I remembered it being more like, you know, like a Snickers, like, long and narrow, yeah, I
Matthew Amster-Burton 5:41
think you're right. And it was, like, maybe four or five squares, and the caramel, like, extended into, like, the interstitial, the inter space, yeah, the lacunae between, between the squares, and that's what would get you.
Molly 5:55
Oh, yeah, right, you would think that you were biting cleanly. But no, there's no such thing. Can we,
Speaker 1 6:00
like, open this and try it? Now, I know we should. We should probably cheese plate this. We should probably start with dairy milk. But a lot of history to get through. And I need some look. There it is. I need some look. Look, lacuna lacunae. Okay,
Matthew Amster-Burton 6:13
so look, it's still, oh god.
Molly 6:15
It's just getting everywhere. This caramel is so light colored. It's a little bit semeny looking. Well,
Matthew Amster-Burton 6:23
okay, again, I don't know why you're whispering, because our listeners have made it clear that they they love it when we talk about semen, that's their favorite thing. I was going to say that about the cream, egg filling, and I didn't, because our listeners love it too much. I don't know I'm going into this with low expectations. A weird product, caramel makes me, makes me salivate so much.
Molly 6:46
Well, it's also that this caramel is, like, 1,000% sugar,
Matthew Amster-Burton 6:49
is 1,000% sugar and possibly 0% caramel. Yeah,
Molly 6:54
that's kind of what I'm getting from it. I don't, I
Matthew Amster-Burton 6:56
don't hate it. It's still chocolate and caramel, but, like, there are better versions of this, yeah? I mean, I know that it's not fair to compare this, but like Trader Joe's recently redid their chocolate covered, dark chocolate covered caramels with, like, slightly different shape, and they may have made them even better. That's such a good candy.
Molly 7:15
Oh, the ones that come in, like, a big tub,
Matthew Amster-Burton 7:17
yeah? So they're no longer in a tub. They're in a resealable bag now, and they're a little flatter than they used to be, and smaller, but like, just fantastic. Let's pivot and just do that.
Molly 7:27
The caramel flavor on those is amazing. It's amazing. Caramel flavor on these is faint, negative 10, exactly. Okay, hold on. We're not talking about cream eggs. We're also not talking about mini eggs, which are a very popular Cadbury, Yeah,
Matthew Amster-Burton 7:41
apparently there was a little dust up this year, because people said they changed the mini egg formula. I got a little I got some mini eggs in my Easter basket. I did not notice this. Possibly I just wasn't paying attention. June is
Molly 7:52
a big mini eggs fan, and they didn't mention noticing a difference.
Speaker 1 7:57
Okay, so what is this, Cadbury? I may take the liberty kind of zooming us along period liberty is what American Cadbury is all about. Okay, so Cadbury was founded in 1824, that's right, it is a 201 year old company that's like, barely America itself. That's right. Had been founded just just shortly before that.
Molly 8:19
That's right, yep, USA, just a little older than Cadbury. Cadbury. Cadbury was founded in 1824, and it originated in Birmingham, England. Wait, so that means they had like, a bicentennial last year, that's right, and we're gonna get there, okay, like 30 minutes. Okay, so it was founded by a guy named John Cadbury. Surprise, surprise, okay, and he was a Quaker. And this is very important. Hang on, we're going to learn more about the Quaker threads that run through Cadbury. That's actually what's in the
Matthew Amster-Burton 8:52
interstitial space. Is what is Quakers. Quaker threads, i for i Yeah, okay, okay, let's just keep
Molly 9:05
going. So John Cadbury sold Tea, coffee and drinking chocolate. Okay, okay. It's noteworthy because I guess chocolate just for eating was not readily available. I
Matthew Amster-Burton 9:17
heard this before that, like, this is sort of a new like chocolate for drinking goes back way, way further than chocolate for eating, exactly. So he has things with conching.
Molly 9:28
So Cadbury had been around for fully 18 years. Cadbury the guy or the company, as a company, okay, before he began selling chocolate for eating, I
Matthew Amster-Burton 9:39
noticed that he founded this company when he was, like, 23 years old. Oh, that's a good
Molly 9:43
I did just notice that too. Wow, huh. Anyway, impressive.
Matthew Amster-Burton 9:47
I love, I love founders. I'm all about entrepreneurialism. I think it's, I think it's the best
Molly 9:52
thing. Well, you are just gonna love how entrepreneurial. Okay, great. This business is. Cadbury developed the business. His brother, Benjamin, and then his sons, Richard and George, came along in a lot of Cadburys. It's a lot of Cadburys. And in 1861 the sons took over, and the company was in decline at that point. So
Matthew Amster-Burton 10:13
there were a bunch of Cadbury like they're a bunch of Casper. Is the word CAD when someone's a CAD? Is that short for Cadbury?
Molly 10:19
So anyway, the suns took over, okay? And they brought the company like back from near death in the 1860s by bringing in better cocoa and using a new cocoa press that was developed in the Netherlands. So basically, they made the chocolate taste better, like they were kind of part of a lot of innovation that then was happening in the world, especially of eating chocolate. How
Matthew Amster-Burton 10:42
long do you think that make the chocolate, made the chocolate taste better? Thing last? Because I would suggest that maybe not, did not last, like through to the present. Hold on.
Molly 10:51
This was like 150 years ago. Okay, fine. Okay. So Cadbury manufactured its first Easter egg in 1875 Wow. Yeah. This was part of the sun's innovation, they apparently developed a cocoa butter that could be molded into smooth shapes. All right, previously had not existed. What
Matthew Amster-Burton 11:09
was it like before? Was it just like chunky shapes,
Molly 11:14
chunky shapes? And then, by, like, 15 years later, they sold like, 19 different varieties of chocolate Easter
Matthew Amster-Burton 11:21
egg. What does that mean? Like, different flavors. I think maybe different flavors, like you never knew what you were gonna find in there. It could be like a raspberry, it could be some sort of like kidney bean. Oh, yeah,
Molly 11:33
they were definitely doing like a red bean easter egg. Yep, they were very innovative. Maybe a chestnut, say, what? Maybe a whole chestnut? Oh, maybe a whole chestnut, yeah, like that old chestnut, yep. Okay, so here's where, like, the Quakerism gets a little interesting. Okay, so in in the late 1870s they decided that they needed a new and bigger factory, okay, they moved it outside of Birmingham, because they found this big estate there that was both like right next to the rail station, and it had access to a canal. So they could bring in milk from the London area by canal, all right, and they could bring in cocoa butter from all over by rail. Wow. It sounds like they had a lot of business acumen. They did. It sounds like they were, like, Settlers of Catan. Yeah, right. I mean, they also had, like, sheep, and they had grain and lumber, yep,
Matthew Amster-Burton 12:34
some ore. I'm sure they had, or they had to, like, refine the ore. That's
Molly 12:39
right, a development card. Maybe they traded it. Uh
Matthew Amster-Burton 12:43
huh, I think I've played this game once, so I'm trying to do my best to go along with this. I knew that. I knew there were sheep.
Molly 12:48
Oh, okay, okay, all right, wow. It's weird that I know more than you about game. It does seem weird, right in a short period of time, after buying this new property and building a big factory there by the railway station in the canal. George, who was one of these, one of the cats, yep, he decided to buy more land near the factory, and at his own expense, he wanted to build this sort of like ideal village. Oh, okay, to alleviate, quote, the evils of modern, more cramped living conditions for his workers. Okay, okay. So this have like a horrible ending, no, okay, actually. So within seven years, the village included 314 cottages and houses set on 330 acres. And here's where the Quakerism thing came in. They forbade the sale of alcohol there. Okay, so there were no pubs, or, you know, liquor stores. Did liquor stores exist? Then I don't know. In bourneville, which is what it was called. As I was reading this, I was like, Did this really work out? I felt skeptical, right. Okay, clearly did. But according to Wikipedia, so take this with a grain of salt. Bourneville is still regarded as like a very desirable place to live. In fact, in 2013 this organization called the Joseph Roundtree Foundation, which is a UK based organization that conducts and funds research to end poverty. Okay, they did this research in 2003 and found that it was, quote, one of the nicest places to live in Britain.
Matthew Amster-Burton 14:25
Wow, that sounds, sounds like some, some serious, intense research. Anyway, okay, can I admit something? Yeah, embarrassing at this point. Yeah, I didn't know Quakers were in England. I thought it was like an eastern US thing, only two,
Molly 14:41
okay? And I think I confuse Quakers and shakers, shakers, yeah, and Mennonites, okay, yeah, yeah, no. People don't come to this show for our knowledge of the world's religions,
Matthew Amster-Burton 14:54
but they might, they might start after this episode. Oh, can I say something? Else. I just realized a little memory lane that got that got sparked we used to have up on the wall at the end of our like at the entrance of our apartment, until recently, an old timey ad for Cadbury drinking chocolate that said, like Bournville cocoa for children, right? I didn't ever know what Bournville was
Molly 15:18
until now, for children. So that bourneville was a line that they made, but it was also the name of like, where their factory was, and that it
Matthew Amster-Burton 15:27
was advertising Coco for children. Because otherwise you would give beer to children. That's right, okay, that's right. No, you would give like, coca, right, okay, coca syrup to children. You
Molly 15:46
Oh, boy, those Cadburys. They were thinking big, yeah, and they thought so big that in 1897 they introduced milk chocolate bars.
Matthew Amster-Burton 15:55
Oh, wow. This is a great opportunity to open up the dairy milk. Up
Molly 15:59
till this point, I don't really know what format the eating chocolate came in. Do you think it just came in, like, chunks? Maybe
Matthew Amster-Burton 16:05
just chunks. I mean, you know, I mean smooth chunks, because they had the smooth cocoa butter.
Molly 16:12
Okay, so I don't think we should get into judging this too much yet, because, well, maybe we should just judge right off the bat. Because the thing is, is anyone will tell you that US made Cadbury is not as good as UK made Cadbury, and there's something funny about that, I think, well, it's just made anyway. It was made by the Hershey Company. Okay,
Matthew Amster-Burton 16:33
I have a soft spot for this, like, it's not a good chocolate bar, but it has a very particular sticky texture to it as it starts to melt in your mouth that I really like, I
Molly 16:46
haven't had any other a sort of cheap milk chocolate bar in a long time, though. Like, how does this compare to, like, a Hershey bar?
Matthew Amster-Burton 16:54
I think it's better. Like, I think of the basic Hershey bar as being pretty bad.
Molly 17:00
Actually, think the last time I had it was in s'mores when, no, it was almost painful. It was so
Matthew Amster-Burton 17:09
it's not, it's not good, right? And this is, this is like in the same category, certainly, but I think this is better, and I really do like that particular texture. That's probably there. It probably is because they discovered moldable cocoa butter, that's
Molly 17:23
right. So anyway, this was just the basic Dairy Milk Milk chocolate bar. So a version of this was introduced in 1905 called dairy milk, and it was designed to be a high quality product with, apparently, like, a larger amount of or greater proportion of milk than other bars. So by this point, we were into, like, the next generation of Cadburys,
Matthew Amster-Burton 17:47
George Jr. Oh yeah. And this is one of these. Is one of these descendants gonna be like a ne'er do well, just fucks everything up. Soon
Molly 17:55
they're gonna kind of fall out of the picture. Oh, okay, yeah. So get ready from the start, the Dairy Milk Bar had its, like, distinctive purple wrapper. Yeah, I think, I think the packaging is really good. The packaging is really good. Apparently, the the the actual, like, Cadbury logo, this kind of loopy script, it's pretty loopy, yeah, is based on somebody's signature, one of the
Matthew Amster-Burton 18:18
Cadburys, Joseph, John, Jacob Crandall, yep, snippy.
Molly 18:26
By 1914 dairy milk was the company's best selling product. Yeah, it quickly began like expanding and devouring competitors, etc, etc,
Matthew Amster-Burton 18:35
competitors.
Molly 18:38
Here's my favorite little tidbit. So apparently, between the two World Wars, Cadbury, like, one of the things they were doing around that time was sending test packages of chocolate to British school children in exchange for their opinions on new products.
Matthew Amster-Burton 18:53
So like, just a box of chocolate would just show up at your house if,
Molly 18:56
or, I don't know, maybe your your public school classroom or something. Oh,
Matthew Amster-Burton 19:00
that would be great. Like, right, like the chocolate man, just like strides into your school and starts pulling in bars. Get
Molly 19:07
ready, because one of those school children was Roald Dahl, who would go on to write Charlie and the
Matthew Amster-Burton 19:14
Chocolate. This is like a literal Wonka scenario, a literal
Molly 19:18
Wonka situation. Nobody ever goes in, and nobody ever comes out of the British public school system when there are chocolate bars in there. All right, I guess that means just the buildings. The buildings
Matthew Amster-Burton 19:29
are ready. No one ever goes in. So
Molly 19:32
Cadbury, up to this point, has just been growing and growing and growing. I'm going to skip one of the mergers because I don't really care. Except that the merger in in 1969 with Schweppes company, that merger marked the end of the family's involvement. Okay,
Matthew Amster-Burton 19:50
but I mean the end of, like, 140
Molly 19:53
years, 20 140 years. Yes, Wow, pretty crazy. Apparently, in the late aughts. The late or, you know, just after the the turn of our our century. I'm
Matthew Amster-Burton 20:03
imagining the last of the of the Cadbury line it, who, like, sold it to Schweppes in the 60s, literally just being Austin Powers. Yes,
Molly 20:10
exactly right. All right. So apparently, Kraft Foods, the US company, got really excited about Cadbury, and basically, like, came for them and was like, I don't understand a hostile takeover, like, I don't understand this, like, we're just gonna give you so much money you can't refuse. Yeah,
Matthew Amster-Burton 20:27
or, like, maybe, I think I've had this, a thing that I've had explained to me multiple times that it never sticks. I mean,
Molly 20:33
I guess if you have shareholders, you can get the company, like, yanked out shareholders.
Matthew Amster-Burton 20:38
It involves the board of directors. Maybe, maybe there's a rump company involved.
Molly 20:46
Rump company.
Matthew Amster-Burton 20:49
Maybe a candy shell company, run company.
Molly 20:53
I don't even remember what I was saying. Okay, so Kraft Foods really wanted Cadbury, and after the real kerfuffle. They wound up making a deal in 2010 and they valued Cadbury at like $19 billion US. Oh, wow, yeah. Anyway, the British people hated this because
Matthew Amster-Burton 21:12
they were afraid they were going to put macaroni and cheese into the dairy milk, exactly which
Molly 21:17
is a real concern. I share that concern anyway. But in 2012 Kraft split, and it moved its snack and confectionary business under Mondelez International. All right, so since 2012 Cadbury has been owned by Mondelez, this
Matthew Amster-Burton 21:36
may be the most confusing corporate history we've ever this this took me hours yesterday. Wow. It took me hours. And could have been using that time playing Settlers of Catan. I could
Molly 21:46
have and I think that that's really all that I want to say, except that Cadbury celebrated its 200th anniversary in 2024 Mondelez has done some kind of questionable things with the company, like basically moving all their operations to less industrialized countries and closing all their stuff in in developed countries, and they've killed a lot of jobs, and they also, from what I know, I think, like, the standards just have not gotten better. Yeah,
Matthew Amster-Burton 22:18
it seems like so one thing I've always wondered, and I don't think we're really going to get into, on this episode, is, like, everyone does seem to agree that, like, the British Cadbury is better. And maybe it has something to do with the fact that temperatures aren't as high in England, and they don't have to, like, make it so that it's shelf stable at, like, American summer temperatures. Dude, what it is so hot in London in the summertime. But is it Texas hot? No, I guess not Texas hot. This is the rumor I've heard. I don't know if it makes any sense. I don't know if it's true.
Molly 22:47
It's manufactured over there, and I don't know, maybe the milk tastes better. Maybe, wait, what is this one? Fruit and nut? Okay, so fruit and nut? No,
Matthew Amster-Burton 22:56
I just don't want raisins in my chocolate bar, sorry. Oh, I'll take this one at home. Okay, great. Oh yeah.
Molly 23:02
I don't really like raisins anywhere, but in chocolate. Oh,
Matthew Amster-Burton 23:05
that's interesting. I love a raisin net. So I think I do like a raisin net if I'm, if I'm at the at the theater, I don't mean the movie theater, I mean like the Globe Theater, speaking
Molly 23:15
of the theater well and high British society. Okay, let's talk about the the old roar, Royal warrant.
Matthew Amster-Burton 23:24
Oh, yes, okay. This is something I think about all the time. Could I explain to you what it means? Not really. I
Molly 23:30
mean, I think so. The Royal warrant, basically, is when the British monarchy, or the Queen, or the king, how these days, says, Dear British company, X, you are going to
Matthew Amster-Burton 23:44
be the social media platform. You are
Molly 23:47
going to be the official provider of whatever your product is for the monarch. Yes.
Matthew Amster-Burton 23:54
So confections, furniture, oat biscuits, oat biscuits, vibrators, that's
Molly 24:01
right. Cadbury got its first royal warrant from Queen Victoria in 1854 Queen Victoria, That's old school. That's pretty cool, right? Yeah, then I think it's pretty much held the royal warrant like through Elizabeth the Second, and when Charles became king, he didn't change anything. But basically, with Russia's whole campaign against Ukraine, Charles was swayed by pro Ukrainian activists to cut ties with Cadbury because it's owned by Mondelez, which maintains operations in Russia. Yeah. Okay,
Matthew Amster-Burton 24:35
so, so two things. First of all, apparently we weren't swayed because, because we're still buying it, whoops. I love this idea of like, because I remember, like, after Princess Diana died, they, like, took the royal warrants down from Harrods, do you remember this? Oh, because
Molly 24:53
of, because of Dodie, dad, right? Mohammed, yes,
Matthew Amster-Burton 24:57
yes. I love the idea that, like. It's someone's job, like, take down, like the royal, the Royal seals and like that. They, they probably look, look pretty bummed while they're doing it. And probably like, they like, show this on TV, or
Molly 25:10
they look like, really smug. Like, really smug, like, You wronged, right? The British spirit, you
Matthew Amster-Burton 25:16
wronged. The British spirit is what they said. Like, that classic catchphrase, okay, okay. Wanna try royal dark? Yeah.
Molly 25:25
In 2009 Cadbury replaced some of the cocoa butter in their non UK chocolate products with palm oil, and there was a huge backlash. I'm just gonna keep chewing while I talk. Okay, Cadbury said it would go back to the old formula, but it took a while, and in some products, it's not clear that they did okay. I don't hate this.
Matthew Amster-Burton 25:46
Oh yeah, it's okay. It's certainly better than our Hershey's special dark. It's way better than a Hershey's special that's pretty good. Like the thing you get from Cadbury, I think, is the smoothness. Again, I'm going to attribute this to their Coco cocoa butter that has the texture of Silly Putty.
Molly 26:07
Okay, so what else do we want to say about these things, these people?
Matthew Amster-Burton 26:12
Well, do you have any other like names of people in the Cadbury family that we should read off?
Molly 26:17
No, but I do have names of products. Oh, okay, juicy squirts. What? Okay,
Matthew Amster-Burton 26:25
there is no way there's a product called Cadbury juicy squirts. Are we doing a quiz? Because You made that up. It's called
Molly 26:32
Maynard's juicy squirts. Somehow, that's even worse. Maynard's is a line that is under Cadbury, okay? And they're sold in the US. I've seen them more in Canada,
Matthew Amster-Burton 26:42
though. Oh, I'm familiar with Maynard's Wine Gums, just because it's a funny name.
Molly 26:46
Yeah, so Maynard's also makes juicy squirts, fuzzy peach sour chillers, okay, sour cherry blasters, oh,
Matthew Amster-Burton 26:53
Sour Patch. Wait, Maynards make sour patches. I
Molly 26:57
find this confusing. Yeah, it can't possibly be the case in the US,
Matthew Amster-Burton 27:00
yes, Canada. Also, you read that they that they manufacture a bunch of gums such as Bubblicious Chiclets, Clarets, dentine, stride, trident and Buble, which I've never heard of, but I think was a character in The Jungle Book.
Unknown Speaker 27:20
Well, like the wasn't it
Matthew Amster-Burton 27:23
balloon? It was balloon. Was that the Jungle Book?
Molly 27:26
Now I'm also thinking of the Electric Boogaloo.
Matthew Amster-Burton 27:30
Yes, break into electric electric bubble, where they had to win a high stakes bubble blowing contest to save the community center. If there was, if there was a movie, like, like a, bring it on. It was about, like a bubble blowing, like a Bubble gum, bubble blowing contest that got completely out of hand. That would be such a great movie, right?
Molly 27:57
So good. It'd be so good. You know, while researching this episode, I learned that Bubblicious gum doesn't have an A in it. I think I always thought it was
Matthew Amster-Burton 28:09
Bucha. No, that was, that was the competitor produced by the Bubba gum, those shrimp flavor gum, it didn't do very well.
Unknown Speaker 28:19
Oh, but I loved the way that this shirt,
Matthew Amster-Burton 28:24
you know, you're supposed to shelve the gum.
Speaker 2 28:28
I thought it was like a chiclet right through, you know, no,
Matthew Amster-Burton 28:34
you're right. That's where all the fiber is. Okay?
Molly 28:39
They make shirts. Cough drops, all right. And then let us not forget that our beloved Canadian candy bar, wonder bar, yes, made by
Matthew Amster-Burton 28:48
Cadbury. I like the name. I like the halls cough drops. You know, the halls of medicine ad campaign that I think feel like went for a long time, like, yeah, it's like the TV ads there would be, like, you know, like a serious, like, I'm a TV doctor type of voice. Welcome to the Halls of medicine. And like, that
Molly 29:06
was a whole menthol, like, wafting
Matthew Amster-Burton 29:09
the visuals that just, was just like, and so someone, someone in our ad department, said, halls of medicine, we're like, Okay, let's go with that, which they did for like, decades, amazing, and it worked, because I'm still thinking about it. It's true. You are you are okay, wow. That was fun. Wow. Okay, so wait, so bars here. So is your favorite? The fruit and nut. I'm gonna
Molly 29:29
say the fruit and nut, because I think that so, you know, it's got that classic dairy milk flavor, although the texture is interrupted by these nubbly things, okay, but I like the Raisin in the almond with that milk chocolate flavor, the Royal dark, I would not kick that out a bit.
Matthew Amster-Burton 29:46
I think I'm going to say my favorite is the original dairy milk, because it has the most of that, that smooth and sticky texture, the Caramello, I don't know like I do like how, how the caramel like is, is found. Found in the spaces between. But wow, that's so lyrical. I know, right? Oh, beautiful. Yeah, the caramel is found in Yeah, but it doesn't have much flavor. Yeah, I'm eating another bite, just to be sure, yeah, but I mean, overall, I think, I think these are kind of like Hershey's, but a little better. What
Molly 30:22
do you like about the caramel? Though? I really like to smash it with my tongue, then kind of let my tongue, like, slide into it. I love to smash it. No, you're right. I think I taste a little hint of caramel this way. Or maybe it's just the facsimile of caramel flavor that comes through with the texture. Oh yeah. Smashing was pretty fun. I should have brought my toothbrush for this episode. Let's
Matthew Amster-Burton 30:47
ruin everything, because I have some of these Trader Joe's chocolate belt covered caramels. This is like grown up Caramello, wow.
Unknown Speaker 30:55
Oh god, so
Matthew Amster-Burton 30:57
good, right?
Molly 30:59
Talk about smooth and sticky. Oh yeah, it's such a good product.
Matthew Amster-Burton 31:07
I was really nervous when they changed the format, like, did they ruin my one of my favorite Trader Joe's products. It's better.
Molly 31:13
So good. Yeah, this is just the right thickness to bite through. Wow, I definitely couldn't smash this
Matthew Amster-Burton 31:20
though, no, it's not, it's not the same thing. You're right, the Smash ability of the Caramello is kind of its calling card. Do you think? Do you think I have smash ability?
Molly 31:28
I mean, you have remained married all these years, so I would say, so, yeah,
Matthew Amster-Burton 31:32
all right, cool. Do we have segments? It's ever my favorite segment.
Molly 31:39
Molly. Choose caramel. I use caramel while I ask if we have segments. Matthew, would you please read today's spilled mail? I would love to. It's
Matthew Amster-Burton 31:53
from listener Miriam, who writes, I too am an elder millennial who spent a lot of time in the 90s drinking Italian sodas. And I just want to pause here to say. Listener, Miriam, I It warms my heart that you called us millennials, which were emphatically not worth many years too old to be considered. I've
Molly 32:11
never thought of myself as a millennial, you know. I because you're not. When do when do millennials begin?
Matthew Amster-Burton 32:16
I think like 1980 81 something like that. Okay, so really, you're, you are actually close, yeah,
Molly 32:23
you are close. I mean, come on, let's be nice to listener Miriam, no, no,
Matthew Amster-Burton 32:27
no, no, I I'm, I think Miriam. Listener, Miriam, is being nice to us. Oh, I
Molly 32:31
thought you meant when you said you are close. I think you think you thought you were talking to. Listener Miriam, oh, no, I was talking to
Matthew Amster-Burton 32:35
to host you for being, like, a couple years off from being a millennial. That's true. But you're pretty far off. You're right, you're ancient. But even though they've obviously gone out of fashion, our generation has just replaced them with flavored seltzers. Oh, Italian sodas. That is, Starbucks is actually the first place I ever had a spin drift. Practically everyone I know owns a Soda Stream and then flavors their homemade seltzer. My current favorite is a little vanilla extract, actually the really artificial kind, not the real stuff inspired by poehlers Vanilla seltzer. Finally, I cannot believe you did a multi part series on the gross smell in Molly's car, and didn't connect that spilled milk to the actual name of your podcast. Was it just too obvious to say out loud, thanks for all the great episodes, Miriam. Okay, Miriam
Molly 33:15
is a sharper tool than I think either of
Matthew Amster-Burton 33:19
us is. Yep, all he thinks our listeners are tools. No,
Molly 33:24
you say somebody's not the sharpest tool in the drawer. No, Miriam, you are the sharpest tool. Yes, absolutely.
Matthew Amster-Burton 33:28
And producer Abby also said, told us the same thing. How could we not have said this was our spilled milk segment? Well, we did
Molly 33:36
admit a few episodes ago that, like it was just going to be a stupid episode. And I think we just finally acknowledged the the elephant in the room of this whole show. Yeah,
Matthew Amster-Burton 33:45
we're just a couple of big, dumb elephants. It's known for being one of the, one of the least smart animals, all right. So unlike, unlike an elephant or an element, we're, we're gonna forget this episode as soon as it's over. Molly, do you have a now? But, wow, I sure do.
Molly 34:10
So I couldn't remember if I'd mentioned this before. But of course, you
Matthew Amster-Burton 34:14
can't remember you're you're not an elephant.
Molly 34:18
So even if I have it bears repeating. So I am currently rereading the book The body is not an apology by Sonia Renee Taylor. This is the book that she's probably best known for, but she also wrote a fantastic puberty book for girls. I don't know if it's changed its title to be more gender inclusive. I'm not sure, but Sonia Renee Taylor is a fantastic human being and body liberation activist, and I decided recently to sign up for a body liberation reading group. That sounds great. And this, this is the first book we're reading. If you haven't read it, and if you live in a body read it. I do, yeah, read it. It's fantastic. And also, I will say. But the more that I think I read about, like the way we think about bodies, or the way that we have built our whole world on what our bodies are and what they can do or can't do, or what they look like and what they don't look like, the more I realize that all of it is just sort of like a way of talking about structures of thinking that keep us all down? Yeah, absolutely. So the body is not an apology by Sonia Renee Taylor, even if you've read it before, read it
Matthew Amster-Burton 35:28
again. Awesome. Our producer is Abby circuitala, yep.
Molly 35:32
And you can rate and review us wherever you get your podcasts, and
Matthew Amster-Burton 35:35
you can check in with other spilled milk listeners maybe find out what great Cadbury products they're eating over in jolly old England at reddit.com/r/everything, spilled milk. I'm sure someone's gonna pop in there and say, like, not only do we have the good the good dairy milk, but also we have something you've never heard of called like, yeah, you know the Elephant Bar.
Molly 35:55
That's right, yeah, I'm sure. Thank you for listening to spilled milk, the show that is brought to you by the Bubba Gump shrimp company. The Bubba Gump shrimp
Matthew Amster-Burton 36:05
company.
Unknown Speaker 36:09
I'm Molly Weisenberg and
Matthew Amster-Burton 36:10
I'm Lieutenant Dan.
Molly 36:19
Whoa, get ready, everybody.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai