End the clamoring already! We're finally doing saltines! Today we hydrolyze the starches and go premium on these water table crackers but first we make a promise that we do not keep. Yes we talk about the Mandela effect again but we also get into The Devil's Spices and the indecency of sauces before deciding that we've got no zeal for Zesta. We end our episode with a 'science' experiment and generate some unnecessary heat.
I Tried 6 Saltines, and This Is the Only One I'll Buy from Now On
Matthew's Whatcha Snackin? - Pierrot Gourmand Noisettes Caramélisées & éclats de féve de cacao
Molly 0:04
I'm Matthew and I'm Molly,
Matthew Amster-Burton 0:05
and this is spilled milk, the show where we cook something delicious, eat it all, and you can't have any
Molly 0:10
today. We are talking about salty.
Matthew Amster-Burton 0:13
Yes. Now it can be told. People have been clamoring for this since 1982 Oh, longer than that, people have been clamoring for this since 1882 something like that, something like that. And now finally, things are about to get premium.
Molly 0:31
That's right, Matthew, what's on your Saltine memory lane? Oh, that's a great question. Did you grow up calling them saltines?
Matthew Amster-Burton 0:37
Yes, absolutely. Calling them saltines. That's a really good question. So my main memory of saltines is of the little two packs that you would get in restaurants, often served with a cup of soup, but sometimes so this is my main Saltine memory lane. Is like when you would go to a place, like a diner or something that would just have the little packs of saltines, like in a little sort of terrine.
Molly 1:01
Are there many places left that are of this kind of establishment? I
Matthew Amster-Burton 1:06
don't think so, but I don't know. And so, like, if you were a kid and you're just, like, unlimited freak crackers, yes, please, yeah. Like, yeah, yeah. So we would, we would, like, keep eating saltines until we were told to stop.
Molly 1:17
Nowadays, I think the last time I saw one of those little, little, tiny packets with the two saltines, and it was in a hospital. Now, yeah, that makes sense there. I remember, yeah,
Matthew Amster-Burton 1:28
it's not worth going to the into the hospital just to get those little
Molly 1:32
salt don't bother get them at the store. Yeah, in my elementary school, saltines and peanut butter were the thing that teachers always had in the cabinet if you forgot your lunch, or if you didn't like your lunch, or whatever. That makes sense. Yeah. Have you had a saltine with peanut butter, like a little Saltine sandwich
Matthew Amster-Burton 1:53
recently? But in my life, yes, it's such
Molly 1:57
a flavor. Maybe, okay, maybe the other thing I remember about saltines is I remember when we were learning about, like starches. This must have been maybe in high school. I'm so glad you're bringing this up. Our teacher gave us each did your parents have
Matthew Amster-Burton 2:13
to sign a sign of permission slip to allow you to learn about starches in school?
Molly 2:18
Probably we were each given a saltine, and we were told to put it in our mouths and kind of hold it in there for like two minutes or something. Yep, and presumably it would go from tasting sort of salty and crackery to tasting a little bit sweet because of the I guess, enzymes in our saliva hydrolyze the starches and begin converting it into sugars. Yeah. I mean, we should definitely do
Matthew Amster-Burton 2:42
this. We should, we should do this. Because, as I recall, this was one of those, like, peer pressure situations where I was like, Yeah, it tastes kind of sweet, and I did not notice any changes whatsoever. To do this. Should we start with that? No, I think we're gonna have to eat mine first. Anything else on your memory. Watts has this memory of the plastic closure that they would include with Saltine boxes, and they don't anymore for reclosing the cracker sleeves. And it was sort of like a strip of wire enclosed in plastic and like cased in plastic that you would like fold into, sort of a triangle, like a twist
Molly 3:20
tie. I sort of remember this. I've seen those on other products.
Matthew Amster-Burton 3:24
Yeah. Lori, kind of great Reddit thread of people saying, like, does anyone else remember this thing? Is this a Mandela Effect thing? But it's real.
Molly 3:31
Remind me what the Mandela Effect is. I know this is like the third episode. It's
Matthew Amster-Burton 3:35
fine. So it's, it's this, this effect where you can't remember what your podcast partner told you on a podcast, you have to keep asking about it over and over. Yeah, Nelson Mandela did that all the time. So the Mandela Effect is a thing people like to talk about on the internet, about whether what color address is no, that's something else that some people have, like a strong memory that Nelson Mandela died in prison and never became was like, never freed and never became president of South Africa, which he actually did. And some people think that they don't really think that they just have a memory of that, and then are surprised every time they remember that that's not true. And then the other examples are that some people believe strongly that Berenstain Bears is spelled one way, and some people believe it's spelled the other way. And then the other one is that whether, whether the comedian Sinbad was in a movie about a genie called Shazam,
Molly 4:30
he was, wasn't he? No, we've discussed that before, too, and I don't remember, but
Matthew Amster-Burton 4:37
Right, but it, but it sure seems plausible that he would have been okay. So yeah. And also, like, if you ask me, like to tell you which way Berenstain Bears is spelled off top my head, I think I would get it wrong. I'm pretty sure it's spelled with an E. I think that's right also, but there's no way to find out.
Molly 4:55
But it's, I think it's Oh no. I think it might be a I,
Matthew Amster-Burton 4:58
oh, you're. To go, all right, listeners, get in touch if you if you know,
Molly 5:04
okay, but we're not gonna tell the listeners. We're gonna look
Matthew Amster-Burton 5:07
it up for ourselves. Yeah, we'll tell you at the end of the episode, you have to listen to the whole thing, yeah? Why don't
Molly 5:12
we do this more often? Okay, Burton, don't say it. We're gonna tell them at the end. You're just gonna show me
Matthew Amster-Burton 5:20
Interesting, huh? The thing about the Baron the Berenstein Bears, though, is like they always learn a lesson.
Molly 5:28
Well, our listeners will have to wait till the end of the show to
Matthew Amster-Burton 5:31
learn their lesson. Yep. Okay, well,
Molly 5:33
all right, let's talk about what these things are. So the reason why I asked, Did you call them saltines, is that I think a lot of people grew up maybe calling these soda crackers. It's a thin, usually square cracker that is made from white flour. Traditionally, they're made from yeast, and the other ingredients are fat of some sort, baking soda, and most varieties are sprinkled with a little bit of salt. It has perforations on the surface and a texture that is quite dry and crisp and a little bit flaky, but not flaky, like a like a Ritz or something that's a richer cracker. No,
Matthew Amster-Burton 6:09
I'm looking at the ingredients here of the of your basic, premium, original saltine crackers, and they do contain both baking soda and yeast. Yeah,
Molly 6:16
yeah. And I'll talk to you more about that in a second. I can't wait, Matthew. I'm so glad we're gonna begin tasting these, because I've got some history. Wait, do you put it on on your tongue, salt down, or
Matthew Amster-Burton 6:27
salt up, salt up. And I have a question. Oh, I
Molly 6:31
just did salt down. Oh, it's just so good. This is a great product. I love this. This is Nabisco premium. Oh yeah,
Matthew Amster-Burton 6:41
okay. Those are really good. Here's my question. I didn't even realize this is how I ate them, until I put it into my mouth. Do you put the whole thing in your mouth and then use your tongue to break it into two pieces?
Molly 6:51
I think I do if I put the whole thing in this time I bit into it,
Matthew Amster-Burton 6:55
okay? Because it's very satisfying to, like, to use your tongue to, like, snap it like, like, a, you know, a Karate Kid breaking a board
Molly 7:02
Exactly, exactly. These guys were first, like, described in a book called The young housekeeper.
Matthew Amster-Burton 7:10
I don't even have a joke, but I just someone's describing, like, a make out session as tongue karate.
Molly 7:18
I think I probably had a couple of
Matthew Amster-Burton 7:19
those in my day, yeah, if you're lucky.
Molly 7:22
All right. So saltines were first described in a book that came out around 1840 Okay, called the Young housekeeper. You can see where we're going. Oh, boy. This is by the American physician, William Alcott. And I want to take a moment here to talk a little bit about Mr. William Alcott, because he's got a lot of beliefs a lot like Mr. Graham. It sounds like he was a friend of Mr. Graham. Mr. Graham, one thing that William Alcott is really well known for is advocacy of vegetarianism. But of course, it couldn't just be about, you know, animal welfare or climate change, right? Did they have climate change in 18 something? They were working on it. Yeah. William Alcott, no, no. He wrote frequently on the topics of education and health. He wrote a letter to the editor of a Boston Medical and Surgical journal in 1836 defending Graham ism, or the Graham system. William Alcott opposed the consumption of alcohol, coffee, meat, spices and tea spices. He also argued against the use of condiments which were stimulating. Did he come up with, don't drown your food? He must have okay. He used the word stimulating for them. He rejected the use of ginger, fennel, cardamom, Mace, nutmeg and coriander, oh yeah, the devil spices, that's right. And he believed that garlic, horseradish, molasses and sauces were disgusting and indecent. Quote, drugs, sauces,
Matthew Amster-Burton 8:46
sauces. That's a very stalled category. Like, did he have a copy of James Peterson sauce cookbook and he would like read it, just to, like, like, when he was writing one of his sermons, I don't know if he had sermons fired up about, like so many, like, like, hundreds and hundreds of vile sauces.
Molly 9:05
He also wrote a book called the physiology of marriage in 1856 he deplored free courtship manners question, yeah, what does any of that mean? Well, so he wanted things to be really proper. Okay? He specifically deplored quote conversation which is too excitable, sure, presence of exciting books,
Matthew Amster-Burton 9:28
yeah, so far we're we hate the same things and unnecessary heat. Unnecessary heat, yeah, yeah. I think, I think we watched unnecessary heat for Dire desires. This guy would really
Molly 9:41
hate climate change, right? But anyway, he warned young people of the dangers of courtship, sure. Of course, courtship, it could lead to love. It could, it could lead to excitement and heat and and exciting stimulation. Well,
Matthew Amster-Burton 9:58
I mean, like Mr. Etymology here, if you look at the word courtship, it's made up of two words, court, that's where you get convicted of a crime, and ship, that's where you sink and, like, try and hold onto a door, but then sink down to the bottom of the ocean. These are both bad things. Yes, that's right. So if you put them together in courtship, even worse, I
Molly 10:15
want to say that wasn't really Mr. Etymology. He didn't knock. That was Matthew, like impersonating, yeah, okay, okay. But back to the history of saltines. So you know, they appeared in this book by this doctor. Love hating idiot in the mid 1800s but if you look at Wikipedia, the invention is credited to Frank L summer, okay, I'm guessing this is because he was the head of a company called FL summer and company of St Joseph, Missouri. That's the only reason, just because he was the head of that company, that's right, okay, which was the first to use baking soda as a leavening agent in its crackers in 1876 All right, so here's the thing. What they did was they used yeast, they let the dough rise, and then you add baking soda at a certain point, okay, to, like, neutralize the excess acidity produced by the action of the of the yeast, right? So I'm guessing that there was some sort of Saltine, but the Saltine, as we know it today, that uses both yeast and baking soda, was maybe a frank L summer creation, all right, yeah, that makes sense. Anyway, they were initially called premium soda crackers and later saltines. But to
Matthew Amster-Burton 11:29
be clear, Frank L summer was also very concerned about whether someone somewhere is masturbating, right? No, no, that was William Alcott. But summer was probably also like, somehow, probably, oh,
Molly 11:41
probably everybody was extremely concerned about masturbation in the 19th century. Yep, yeah, these guys, this Saltine thing is from Missouri. Came about in roughly, you know, the recipe we know now, in 1876 and it became really popular. Yeah, I can see why the slogan Polly wants a cracker became synonymous with the brand, but I didn't see any, but didn't originate with the surely, not, I don't know. I don't know I did that, but it was part of its advertising and became synonymous with it, although there was no further explanation. Interestingly enough, if we're to talk about corporate history, and we should the FL summer and company, company merged with other companies to become the American Biscuit Company in 1890 and thanks to further mergers, became part of the national Biscuit Company, which we know as Nabisco. And
Matthew Amster-Burton 12:37
still to this day, we're eating right now, Nabisco original premium oyster crackers, no saltine crackers.
Molly 12:45
That's right. God, I should have looked up the difference between oyster crackers and saltine crackers. I mean,
Matthew Amster-Burton 12:49
I think probably the dough is very similar, if not the same, but oyster crackers are little hexagons. They're cute. Yeah, they're cute.
Molly 12:57
I like this. In the early 1900s various companies in the US started selling soda crackers in Puerto Rico, and they called them export soda, okay? And even when cracker companies in Puerto Rico started making their own version of saltines, they called them export soda. And this term became a generic name in Puerto Rico for what we call Saltine. I like it, export soda. That's good. That's got a real ring to it. That is nice. They were super popular in the US in the early 1920s the roaring 20s. I'm not quite sure why the flappers like them. They must have. They must have. Maybe the easy to eat while you're flapping, exactly. That's right, You Can Dance and shake all your tassels while eating a saltine,
Matthew Amster-Burton 13:43
yeah, with like a saltine in each hand. Yeah, this is great.
Molly 13:45
And then the popularity of these crackers continued to grow during the Great Depression, because, well, number one, they're inexpensive. Number two, by this point, they were widely available across the US, and they were a really handy filler, like an inexpensive filler to sort of stretch foods. Or, you know, like, I don't know, make a meatloaf go I was gonna say, like, probably
Matthew Amster-Burton 14:06
at some point your meatloaf got to, like, 20% meat and 80% saltines,
Molly 14:10
right? Or maybe this is where we got, like, the Ritz cracker pie. I was thinking about that too. Like, what kind of pie can you make with these? Yeah, well, people do sometimes use, like, a meal made of ground up saltines as either filler for consider that a meal, a meat loaf kind of thing, or as a topping for a casserole, or sometimes as part of a like a crust. I
Matthew Amster-Burton 14:37
didn't put this on the agenda because I forgot to look it up. Look up whether my recollection is correct. But I think for a while, Watson and I were making these, like, oven baked onion rings from Cook's Illustrated where the the coating, the crispy part, was like 50% saltines and 50% kettle chips, that blitz stuff. Oh, you gotta look that up. Yeah. Okay. I'll try and look this up while you continue to. Regale us with tales of saltines past. I want
Molly 15:12
to do a little bit of a tasting while we're while we're talking more about what we do with these bad boys. Can we taste zesta, which is the other so the major American brands are premium, which is made by Nabisco, and zesta, which is made by Keebler. And I am very interested to taste these two side by side,
Matthew Amster-Burton 15:30
confirmed saltines and potato chips. That sounds incredible. They're really good. They're not really any easier to make than deep fried onion rings. Like, because you have to, like, do a bunch of stuff and, like, coat them, but, but they're good. Oh, wait, so they're oven baked. They're oven baked, yeah, but you can do, like, a larger quantity without, without working in batches. I'll make them again. Okay, so this is zesta. So I noticed about zesta that the little docking holes are a different arrangement than the premium. Did you notice this? Oh,
Molly 16:01
okay, so in the zest, we've got a square cracker with 16 holes in an evenly spaced grid, whereas and the Saltine, the premium Saltine, we've got more of a like row, a row of three, a row of two, row of three, of two.
Matthew Amster-Burton 16:19
I am so excited for you to try the zest and get your opinion on this. Zester sucks, right? It is terrible. Like, how can one saltine cracker be so much worse than another? This is, like, one of the most unexpected results that has ever happened on the show. I think,
Molly 16:37
okay, but if you were just presented with these in a restaurant, it would be fine. It'd be fine. You'd be like, Mmm, saltines, right? And honestly,
Matthew Amster-Burton 16:46
this work does remind me more of like, the ones we would get in the little packets as kids. It does
Molly 16:50
have a little bit of a like, if I closed my eyes, it has a little bit of the same aftertaste as a goldfish cracker, even like a cheddar vulture does. Okay. Hold on, let me eat this premium one again. Oh,
Matthew Amster-Burton 17:02
the premium is a enormously better cracker.
Molly 17:06
Okay, but hold up. The premium. First salty. First thing, you get the salt, but then you get this, like white flour taste. Zester has more of a fat taste. I think the premium has more of like a white cracker, almost like a water like a table, table cracker, water table, table water crack. Do
Matthew Amster-Burton 17:25
not, do not start talking about the water table. We'll be here. Started hearing from the hydrologists again, and we've been through that so recently.
Molly 17:32
Hold on the cars crackers. Are they table water crackers or water table,
Matthew Amster-Burton 17:37
table water? I don't know,
Molly 17:41
but the premium tastes a little bit like that, but it's more
Speaker 1 17:43
technical. Disagree with what you're saying. I still think the premium is a much better cracker. Well, I do too. I think the zester tastes a little like muddy and weird. The zest it like clumps more and it does clump. Is it higher in fat? Let's find out, total fat, 1.5 grams per 15 gram serving. Okay,
Molly 18:02
that's the same. What is the source of fat in zesta,
Matthew Amster-Burton 18:08
groundwater, soybean oil.
Molly 18:12
That's all. That's all, Ah, okay, well, in premium, it's soybean and or canola and palm oil. Okay, since we really like the taste of palm oil, I
Matthew Amster-Burton 18:22
guess. But I think it's mostly the texture. The premium is a little saltier and the texture is better. I gotta have another Can I have the rest of this? Yeah, you can wait. Isn't that
Molly 18:31
a zest? It's just a completely different cracker that's so weird. That is so weird. How hard can
Matthew Amster-Burton 18:39
it be? Okay, and we also have premium with whole grain. So I thought, I thought these might be like whole wheat crackers, but they're crackers with some whole grains at it. I like, I like the appearance.
Molly 18:52
Ooh, these are pleasing color. Oh, I'm here for this.
Matthew Amster-Burton 18:56
Mm, these are all right. They're not as good to me as the original I am noticing, and friend of the show, Dan patchman, would be proud of us for noting this, that it really does make a big difference whether you put the salt up or down, and down is better.
Molly 19:11
Down is way better. Okay, I love the whole grain one to me, it keeps everything that's delicious about a regular, original premium and adds a little bit of grain flavor. I'll tell
Matthew Amster-Burton 19:23
you. What I really like is I have the package of the whole grain, one sitting on my lap like a sleeping baby, and it's very comforting, somehow nice. You need a little weighted blanket. I need a little weighted blanket. Well,
Molly 19:32
I have some more things to say about salty please do I think one thing that really makes these unique, and which is kind of surprising, because I always think of these are such a like a simple product, but it is really interesting that they use both yeast and baking soda, and clearly the flavor and the texture must be, you know, reliant upon both of them. Another thing is, the dough rests a lot while you're making this. And I don't know, have you made them from scratch? I have not, but apparently the dough. Rises for like, 20 to 30 hours with just the yeast. Then you add the baking soda to neutralize the acidity that's created.
Matthew Amster-Burton 20:08
How do you think you add baking soda to a bunch of bulk fermenting dough?
Molly 20:13
I think it could be a pretty wet dough. Yeah, I don't know. Yes, it
Matthew Amster-Burton 20:17
goes, like, back into a mixer, probably presumably the
Molly 20:20
dough. After you add the baking soda, it rests for another three to four hours to relax the gluten, and then it's rolled out and baked. And we should definitely talk about why it's perforated. I mean, wouldn't we also call this docking? Oh, yeah. So basically, you know, and I guess this is the case with anything that you would
Matthew Amster-Burton 20:40
dock, like a boat or a space boat,
Molly 20:43
that's right, or a space pod,
Matthew Amster-Burton 20:46
or like a laptop, when you put it into the docking station, that's right. Did you say a space pod? So why do we dock
Molly 20:53
during baking? The outer layer of the dough is gonna harden first, and what happens is it restricts the exit of gasses that are formed during baking. So if you perforate it or dock it, it sort of links the top and bottom surfaces to prevent the cracker from Pillowing as much.
Matthew Amster-Burton 21:14
So it's kind of like, you know those. Have you ever used one of those? Like, no staple staplers, no but it's kind of like that. If it's kind of like that. It was kind of like that. It's like, it, like, attaches some paper, pieces of paper together by just making holes and, like, folding the little tabs over. Kind of that's so cute, so cute.
Molly 21:31
What you did with your fingers doing that was like, yeah, yeah, Matthew, what do you do with saltines? Do you usually keep them around?
Matthew Amster-Burton 21:42
I think of these as generally, as like a thing, thing that I would eat if my tummy is upset. I don't. I don't really go for them, like, as a as an eating cracker, but like, they are good. So I don't have a good reason for that.
Molly 21:56
It is interesting because the only time that I have bought them in memory was during, like, a stomach upset bout, yeah, but they are delicious. So I don't know why we don't,
Matthew Amster-Burton 22:08
because, like, eat them. Yeah, we've done cracker episodes before. Like, the crackers that I will buy, like, if I want to eat some crackers, are, like, Wheat Thins. Or
Molly 22:16
have you had the Trader Joe's multi grain crackers? Those are, I think
Matthew Amster-Burton 22:20
so, yeah, those are good. Or, like, a cheez it. I love Cheez Its. But like, I want, I want, like, a flavorful cracker. I guess Wheat Thin. Wheat Thins are kind of flavorful.
Molly 22:30
Now that we've got all these saltines, what are you gonna do with them?
Matthew Amster-Burton 22:34
I'm gonna make soda cracker toffee for one thing. Oh, okay, so what is this? I'd never heard of it. This is a thing, like, I don't know what the history of it is. I assume it was a back of the Bucha. The box recipe, because it's a really easy recipe made with a commercial product. You melt together butter and brown sugar and, like, get them, get them combined, and pour them over a baking pan filled with, like, a single layer of saltines. Okay, then you bake that for a few minutes to get it caramelized and really hot. Then you dump a bunch of chocolate chips on top of that, you wait for them to melt, and you spread the chocolate out, and then you put some chopped nuts on top of there and let them cool. This sounds like what I've heard of people doing with matzo. Yeah, I was wondering if it's related to that. Like I don't, I don't know if that preparation would be kosher for passover or not? That's not for me to decide. But like, yeah, it's probably related to, like, a matzah recipe.
Molly 23:28
What do you think the point of the crackers is here? I mean, you know, in this case, saltines, but matzah or whatever?
Matthew Amster-Burton 23:38
I mean, because structure, salt
Molly 23:41
does the brown sugar and butter mixture get toffee like, or does
Matthew Amster-Burton 23:46
so that's it. It's that. It's that you're not so like, what is toffee? You make toffee? Yeah,
Molly 23:51
toffee is butter and sugar, basically that you have cooked to a certain temperature where the the structure of the sugar is such that when it cools, it has a clean crack,
Matthew Amster-Burton 24:04
right? So it is a is a cheating way, cheaters way to get, like a firm but tender, crispy texture in your toffee without having to get it to the right the sugar to the right
Molly 24:17
temperature, which is a really tedious and extremely hot process. That is what
Matthew Amster-Burton 24:21
the Saltine is there for. And it works great. It's delicious.
Molly 24:24
Okay. Oh, that sounds great. Yeah, that sounds phenomenal. You know, I have never thought about crumbling saltines up in into soup, which I
Matthew Amster-Burton 24:33
guess, have thought about this, and, in fact, I've done it.
Molly 24:36
I mean, I've thought about oyster crackers for that use. I've never thought about saltines, but of course, that's why they're on tables in diners and stuff right to, like, crumble onto your soup or chili. Yeah, I would
Matthew Amster-Burton 24:48
usually eat them on the side as a kid, but today, I would be happy to crumble a saltine into my soup. Only one. That sounds great, because if you if you do more than one, then it starts to create, like, unnecessary heat and friction. And like you start thinking impure thoughts,
Molly 25:02
oh, yeah, unnecessary, yeah,
Matthew Amster-Burton 25:05
no, they'd be that guy, like Johnny Saltine or whatever his name. Dr, William Alcott. Dr, William cracker, like he was opposed to the little packets of two, because they're too suggestive
Molly 25:18
the way they rub up against each other in the packet. Yeah? So, you know, another thing I'm thinking is this would be delicious as a little snack with just like some some good cheddar cheese. Yeah,
Matthew Amster-Burton 25:30
for sure. Why don't we do that? I think people do do this. I think Watson does
Molly 25:34
with saltines. I think so. Oh, God, I love her. Not that way, not in an unnecessary heat, way. Oh, whatever. Anyway, peanut butter. I mean peanut butter, I don't want to eat it right now. Yeah, not from saltines, but from all the other things you and I have eaten today. But, yeah, peanut butter on a saltine is just wow, nostalgia,
Matthew Amster-Burton 25:56
yeah. And really, like, it does seem like, as long as you can handle the gluten. Like, if you're feeling sick, like, this is the obvious thing to reach for, kind of,
Molly 26:05
okay, Matthew, I want to tell you that I found a taste test, a saltine taste test. I want to hear about this all recipes.com and they tasted way more different varieties. I'm sure
Matthew Amster-Burton 26:14
there's like, like, you know, Whole Foods house brand, like, I didn't even get they tasted
Speaker 2 26:18
like a target brand, yeah. But the bottom line is, Matthew, they hated the zesta Okay, and Nabisco premium won the taste test. Yeah. I mean, it's obvious, but it's true. On that note, let's do our two minutes in. Can I tell you something dumb? Oh, right, right, right, my mouth. So, yeah, all right. So, so producer, Abby, when we do this, I want, I want two minutes of dead air. No, Matthew said, a timer, though, let me but
Matthew Amster-Burton 26:43
okay, well, while I'm setting the timer, I want to tell you something so you can laugh at me. I picked up the zest a box. I picked up the premium box. I put them in my in my basket at the at the Safeway. And you know, these things come in fairly large boxes with, like, four sleeves of crackers in them. How do you close up the sleeve? I don't know, like, they don't include the little plastic anymore. It's like, a totally a planned obsolescence. It is. Yeah, they do also sell, like, a, like, a, you know, higher unit price, like, like, stay fresh, smaller sleeves. But then I saw this premium that only had two sleeves in it. I'm like, I don't need, like, another whole giant box of saltines. I'm gonna get the smaller box of premium. This smaller box cost $1 more than the larger
Molly 27:22
box. Are you serious? Yes, that's so dumb. Okay,
Matthew Amster-Burton 27:27
okay, I'm setting the tire now for real. Okay, ready? Uh huh, go.
Molly 27:35
I had pretty much swallowed mine by the end. It kept like going down with my spit. Mine didn't get sweet.
Matthew Amster-Burton 27:41
No, mine either. Okay, well, that was fun. All right, so science is fake. Do your own research.
Molly 27:48
Wow. Okay, yeah, I'd love to know how long I would have to keep that in my mouth for it to work, three days. Okay, okay, great. I'll get right on it.
Matthew Amster-Burton 27:55
I mean, you have to know something about, like, the enzyme kinetics. You're so pleased
Molly 28:01
with yourself, I don't even think that's the right term. Okay, Matthew, are you snacking? Anything? I mean, what's your snacking?
Speaker 3 28:07
Hey, what you snacking? You gotta tell me what you're snacking, or I'll release the Kraken. So what you snacking?
Matthew Amster-Burton 28:19
Okay, let me tell you what I'm snacking. I have here the packaging of the snack that I ate all of and Molly can't have any, which is called Pierrot gourmont noisette, caramelize a Claude de Fave de cacao so it is caramelized hazelnuts and crusted with cacao nibs. These were so good I made the whole package disappear very quickly. Watson got these for me at a new French bakery in Seattle in Pioneer Square called Mirabelle by orfeh. Wow. Great name, right? It is great. And they are part of a series from Pierrot gourmont, which includes these and peanuts, caramelized peanuts with vanilla, and caramelized almonds with Herb de Provence. That sounds interesting,
Molly 29:05
right? I would be into trying it, but I do kind of, I think that that Watson chose the right one to bring, yeah,
Matthew Amster-Burton 29:11
especially for me, because I'm, like, such a such a hazelnut fiend, that's right, that sounds great. Get some more of these. Okay, okay, wow, cool. And I'll link to the website. I don't know if the website shows places where you can buy them, but probably France would be one place.
Molly 29:26
Yeah. Well, our producer is Abby circatella Molly's got
Matthew Amster-Burton 29:29
a newsletter called I've got a feeling that you can subscribe to@mollyweisenberg.substack.com and I think you should,
Molly 29:36
Oh, thanks, Matthew. Matthew, you make music with a friend of yours under the name early to the airport. Yeah, it's friendly music. It's friendly music. It's really catchy music. You will get to hear Matthew sing like like a bird, like a Burton. I was going to say over the course of your most recent album, I was so impressed by how you. You were able to use your voice over a wide range of styles and notes.
Matthew Amster-Burton 30:05
Yeah. Do you remember producer Abby's review was I listened to your album? You sound so friendly on the podcast, but so angsty when you sing.
Molly 30:13
Yeah? That's the best part. So yeah, look for early to the airport, anywhere you look for Music, Spotify, band camp, Apple Music, all that
Matthew Amster-Burton 30:21
jazz. Yes, it's a jazz album. Review us wherever you get your podcasts, and you
Molly 30:25
can chat with other spilled milk listeners on Reddit, at reddit.com/r/everything,
Matthew Amster-Burton 30:30
spilled milk. Yeah, and if you're, if you have a zeal for zest, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yuck your Yum, but I didn't like,
Molly 30:38
yeah, I want to know. I mean, if any of you have a real feeling about zestine, you don't like Nabisco premium, I wanna know. And
Matthew Amster-Burton 30:45
until next time, thank you for listening to spilled milk, the show that. Wow, the conversation is too excitable. It's too excitable, and is because we have to close all the windows. We are generating unnecessary heat. Oh, disgusting. Did you notice that? Like, in order to come up, try and come up with a closing joke, I pulled out a saltine and stared at it meaningfully, as if I that, like it was gonna give me the answer. It's beautiful. Yeah, it is beautiful. And it did give me the answer. I'm Matthew Amster Burton. I'm Molly Weisenberg. I
Unknown Speaker 31:26
so dry I
Transcribed by https://otter.ai