We start this episode like we do all our episodes, by telling you what we are NOT talking about. After that is out of the way, we learn The Sausage Sizzle, lexography and Matthew's super villain origin story. These sandwiches filled with hot beef injections bring out fiery rants, bun friction and toasting tips before we reveal our dream backstage riders.
Molly 0:04
I'm Molly, and I'm Matthew, and this is spilled milk, the show where we cook something delicious, eat it all, and
Matthew Amster-Burton 0:10
you can't have any. And today we're talking about sausage sandwiches, which we just had for lunch. We just here in the studio. And this is a real classic thing that I wanted to talk about, that Molly has said, no, no interest
Molly 0:21
in lit. Well, no, I have an interest in that. I just inhaled one. Clearly, I was very interested in it. I consumed it, but I have zero memory lane, and I don't know anything about it, so let's see what I can contribute.
Matthew Amster-Burton 0:36
Okay, so, yeah, so this was suggested by host Matthew. That's me. Yeah, we're not doing sausage rolls today. Okay, that's gonna be a future episode after I go to the United Kingdom,
Molly 0:47
and that is going to be, it's like, where sausage is baked in a pastry, yeah, okay, I have had South African sausage rolls. Oh, okay. But again, we're not doing sausage rolls today,
Matthew Amster-Burton 0:56
and we're not doing, like, breakfast sausage sandwiches. We already did that. It was called breakfast sandwiches. So this is, like, a whole link sausage on a roll or bun.
Molly 1:06
Okay, all right, okay, yeah, not to be confused with a hot dog.
Matthew Amster-Burton 1:10
No, we're also not doing hot dogs. We've done that. Okay, also. So this is, like, it's usually, like, starts as, like a fresh sausage, not like a smoked or cooked sausage, although it could be a cooked sausage, I don't know what we're doing, like, I bet the whole thing's falling apart in front of me. And yet, you I thought this tower of Babel was going to be so sturdy when we started
Molly 1:29
building it. You told me very excitedly that there is a lot to say about sausage sandwiches. So let's get saying
Matthew Amster-Burton 1:35
yeah, and I exaggerated, but, but not so much there is. There are some things to say. Okay, let's begin on memory lane. Molly, tell me about your sausage sandwich memory lane. All right, so I'm gonna tell you about my sausage sandwich memory lane. I gotta, I got a couple things like Watson added something yesterday because she mentioned that when she was staying at her brother's in Colorado A while back, and like, helping out, possibly during his divorce, helping that with, like, looking after his kid and stuff for a week or so. She was like, What is something easy but tasty that I can make for dinner, that everyone would like that? Like, you know, I don't have to hunt around for, like, a bunch of ingredients or utensils. She got some Italian sausages. She got some rolls, she got some onions and peppers. Boom, anyone can make this, and everyone will enjoy it if they like meat. Oh, what a good idea. Yep. So I first got kind of obsessed with these when I was in high school, because this restaurant opened that I'm sure I've mentioned on the show before in downtown Portland, called Good dog, Bad dog. I feel like I've never actually heard you mention. Okay, it was run by the by these two brothers who were really nice. Was one a good dog, and the other one was good dog, the other was a bad dog. You're the dog expert. Like, yeah, you want to, you want to feed the good dog, feed the bad dog to the good dog. Go on, wait, or is this like metaphorical?
Molly 2:54
You want to feed metaphor? Yeah, you feed the, you know, feed the thoughts you want to have, oh, oh, you're serious. I want to have good dog. I thought
Matthew Amster-Burton 3:01
you were coming up with, okay, great. So I think they were the gamble brothers. That was what came to mind. Maybe one of them was named Brian. Anyway, these It was nice guys who ran a really good sausage restaurant that focused on sausage sandwiches. So like a linked they would do patties, but mostly like a link sausage on a roll. And they just kind of obsessed over every ingredient. And like, I feel like I learned a lot from that, yeah, like, how to obsess over things.
Molly 3:27
And also, it seems that your, your sort of platonic ideal of a sausage sandwich was, you know, formed quite early then in your, I mean, before your, your frontal lobe was finished developing.
Matthew Amster-Burton 3:40
That's right, exactly, frontal like, if you, if you, like, look at my frontal lobe with, like, a PET scan, yeah, there's like, a sausage shaped
Molly 3:48
like, on the on the walls of the cave, although, Yeah, isn't that, isn't that Play Doh,
Matthew Amster-Burton 3:53
yeah, right, right. So, yeah. So if you look, if you look at my brain, you see Plato's cave, and there's like, like, there's people, like, looking at a silhouette of a sausage. It's really hollow and echoey in there, like, it turns out, like, like, you know, later scholars realized that was not a sausage anyway. So what was the what were we talking about? Good dog, Bad dog. So I usually get like, a spicy Italian sausage, like, on a bun with some with some grilled onions. That was about it. Wait, I've got more. There's Schultz sausage in the U district, a really good sausage restaurant.
Molly 4:26
Yeah, I remember this from when I was a student at the U DUB, but I just, I never went there. Like, this is the thing I feel like, either you see the word sausage sandwich
Matthew Amster-Burton 4:36
and are drawn in, like, drawn in flame, like a, like, a cartoon
Molly 4:41
character, sausage sandwich. And you're like, oh, look, those are two words that one, no,
Matthew Amster-Burton 4:46
no, the other, no. I'm sure there are other combinations of two words that, like, act as, as, like, you know, a pheromone to you.
Molly 4:53
Yeah. I mean, I would have said, for me at that same age, the words chocolate and milkshake. Oh, sure. Or malted milkshake, but I would have been drawn by those things too. But I've just never been drawn to the two words sausage and sandwich brought together. Yeah? In fact, I would say I am. I've never been really drawn to the word sandwich. And I don't just mean in like, a lexography kind of way, yeah, lexography?
Matthew Amster-Burton 5:20
No, I tell you, me, this is interesting. Like, I feel like we're all, we're all surrounded by, like, our own, you know, when they do one of those, like, word bubbles, like, you know, some of the words are big and some are small, and they're like, floating a word cloud, maybe, yes, like, like, we're all, like, living in our own word cloud. That's like, like, I've said this before, but like, if you put the word jalapeno or peanut butter on the package of a new product, I will come home with that product.
Molly 5:44
And I would say that the word sandwich looms large in your cloud.
Matthew Amster-Burton 5:49
Maybe, like, I don't really even think of myself as, like, a much of a sandwich person, though there's a lot of hot sandwich, hot sandwich, yeah, you're right.
Molly 5:58
My spouse also a hot sandwich person. Like, if there's a hot sandwich, they will order that. And my eyes just like, glaze over it and not glaze over it. My eyes skim. My eyes skip, oh,
Matthew Amster-Burton 6:14
they skimp over it. You got skimpy eyes, all right. So, oh they okay. So my other memory is the grace. What's that great? Your eyes look graze because, wait, can your eyes can glaze over, but they can also graze over things, right? I guess I think so.
Molly 6:31
Like, if you're reading down a menu and they're like, they're just items you just kind of skip over, just in what is the word? What is the word for that? Maybe graze. My eyes. Grazed those words, not grazed over. Not, okay? No, that is not the right preposition. Oh God. Our listeners are screaming at their phones right now.
Matthew Amster-Burton 6:54
All right, so, oh yeah. So also the feast of San Gennaro. Have you ever been to the feast of San Gennaro? It's happening right around the time we're recording this, I think in Little Italy, in Manhattan. No, it's, it's like an Italian American street festival. The thing, I've been a couple of times and like, the thing you one of the things you get there is, like, you'll see, like, they'll have, like, a long spiral sausage link on on a flat top, and they'll, like, cut a length off and put it in a roll with onions and peppers that have been like, sitting, like cooking all day there, and it's so good. Oh, that sounds fabulous. And I remember, I remember, like, both times I've been like, I would like, sort of go from stand to stand thing, like, which is the best sausage sandwich. They're all the same.
Molly 7:35
Okay, okay, so, Matthew, why are we doing this episode right now.
Matthew Amster-Burton 7:41
Okay, so you know how, like, superheroes and super villains always have an origin story, like, you know, Batman, his family was murdered, so he became Batman, that's right, and Superman came to Earth, and stuff happened, and then he became Superman,
Molly 7:57
yeah, like a bar of chocolate fell into the batter, and then there were chocolate chip cookies,
Matthew Amster-Burton 8:03
right? Okay, so that was, yeah, that was Ruth. Ruth Wakefield's super villain origin story, yeah. Okay, so my sausage episode origin story is, like, a couple months ago, Watson and I went to a sausage restaurant that I won't call out by name, because maybe they were just having a weird day or something, but got a pretty bad sausage sandwich that was made with good ingredients but not prepared. Well, this made me indignant, okay, judgmental and wanting to, like, share how to do this, right? Because it's not very hard.
Molly 8:36
It does not sound very hard, right? Well, so then let's, let's walk through it like, Well, what do I need to know about the greater world of sausage sandwiches before we get into how to
Matthew Amster-Burton 8:47
do it. Okay, so first of all, last time I researched something, it was, it was caprese salad, and the Wikipedia page was basically a stub. There's a pretty big Wikipedia page for sausage sandwich, which I expected there to be none. This is basically a thing that started in Germany. So, like in Germany, people love sausages. They love, like, putting putting sausage on in a roll. They got various types of rolls. It's a popular street food. It's something you can get in a restaurant. It goes great with beer. So, like, you know, a bratwurst on a roll with some mustard, probably that's like a classic German thing, and the thing that I make is clearly descended from that, okay, in the UK, a sausage Sarney on sliced bread is a popular breakfast item, and the sausage links are kind of sliced also, okay. And then I got to the Australia section, and I was like, I've never heard of any of this stuff. I didn't even do a lot to verify that it was true. So if you're in Australia, get in touch. Contact at spilled, both podcast.com and let me know, like, what did I miss here? Because all sounds great. So there's a thing in Australia called a sausage sizzle. Okay, so let me, let me quote from Wikipedia, quote in Australia and New Zealand, a variety is frequently sold at, okay, wait, a variety of sausage sandwich. A variety of sausage sandwich is frequently sold at school fats and other fundraising activities. The sausage is cooked on a barbecue grill in an outdoor area and served with grilled onions on a single folded slice of bread with tomato or barbecue sauce. Tomato sauce, meaning ketchup. This activity is commonly known as a sausage sizzle, and so if you imagine, like a sausage link put diagonally on a slice of white bread and then folded the corners, folded up. That's what we're talking about.
Molly 10:23
Oh, that sounds great, yeah. Okay. And so it is unlike, so unlike a sausage, sausage sarni in the UK, it the sausage is not
Matthew Amster-Burton 10:31
sliced, right? Okay, so I'm like, is there more to this story? Boy, is there ever This led to a whole other Wikipedia page for democracy sausages.
Molly 10:38
Oh, that's what we need here in the US. This is right we need.
Matthew Amster-Burton 10:42
This is where things went wrong. Do you remember when that movie came out and everybody started saying hot beef injection all the time? No, what movie The Breakfast Club?
Molly 10:53
Oh, I have seen it. Yeah. You know what? I saw it like a year ago, and I found it insufferably boring.
Matthew Amster-Burton 10:59
It's not, yeah, I agree. It's a movie we watched in school because, yeah, kind of end of the year, like, well, I got to show these kids something. And like, I there was some attempt to make it educational, like, to give it some educational context. I don't remember that.
Molly 11:14
I, yeah, okay, I will go on a Breakfast Club rant if we keep at this.
Matthew Amster-Burton 11:19
So let's, I'm pretty sure that's where hot beef injection comes from. I have no idea, yeah. Like, so as soon, I didn't see the movie till later. But like, you know, some, some kid who got to see an R rated movie, like, started saying hot beef injection, and then everyone started saying it. That's how, that's how pop culture happens, yeah? Okay, so, yeah, it all starts with R rated movie. It all starts with a hot beef injection. All right. Quote from Wikipedia. Quote, democracy, sausages are sausages wrapped in slices of bread bought from a sausage sizzle operated as a fundraiser, set up at up to 1/3 of Australian polling places on election day, often in eight of the institutions that house the polling place. In 2016 1992 polling booths, just under 1/3 of those across Australia had a sausage stand by the count of the election, sausages, sausage sizzles website, wow. I want to believe that that's an official government website. So if it's not, I don't want to hear about that.
Molly 12:13
I also wonder if this could be instructive for us.
Matthew Amster-Burton 12:18
I think so. Yeah, maybe. Hope it's not too late, right? I mean, in Washington, we vote by mail, but you can, by the end of this episode, you'll know how to make your own sausage sizzle at home. Okay, okay, so in the 2010 still quoting here from Wikipedia, the democracy sausage had been so well recognized in Australian culture that in the 24 hours leading up to the two July 2016 federal election. Twitter changed its emoji for hashtag OSS votes from a ballot box to a sausage lying on a slice of white bread topped with sauce. Oh, here, here. And then, even though this is not what this episode is about, okay, so that's all I know about Australian sausage sandwiches. But like, yeah, like, I would love to, like, go, go to the polls and get a get a sausage wrapped in a piece of white bread, all in favor of that, right? I'm raising my hand right? Like I said, we may need to, like, for the next election, travel to another state for a variety of reasons, but
Molly 13:12
mainly, actually, maybe I would just travel through different country and stay there,
Matthew Amster-Burton 13:16
but, but, like, we'll set up a sausage stand. Is my point? Okay? In the United States. Quote, sausage sandwiches are widely popular. One variety, colloquially known as a hot dog, is particularly popular, especially at sporting events, carnivals, beaches and fairs. Wow.
Molly 13:33
Thanks, Wikipedia. Matthew, we weren't gonna talk about hot dogs,
Matthew Amster-Burton 13:36
I know, but I couldn't resist okay. And then there's a particular German sausage sandwich that I would love to try, that I learned about, quote, a sausage sandwich called dry in vegla, literally, three in a bun. Also spelled dry in vegla, has three Nurnberger roast bratwursta, as the snacks, name implies, and mustard in a sliced bread roll. Huh? I like this phrase, three in a bun,
Molly 13:58
three in a bun. So do we think that the Nurnberger roast brat. Waste verste is a kind of small
Matthew Amster-Burton 14:06
sausage. They sell them at so Uli sausages in Seattle, which I cook today, makes a Nurnberger bratwurst, and it's like a skinny sheep casing sausage, okay, so like what we might think of as a breakfast sausage, yeah? So you wouldn't put like, three big, thick, chubby links in it. I mean, you might in a sandwich, like, if you want to, like, I'm not gonna try and stop you. No, never. But that's not what the three in a bun is. Three in a bun is little guys, okay?
Molly 14:40
So when you think of a sausage sandwich you do every day, you think of, like, a whole link
Matthew Amster-Burton 14:47
sausage, yeah, like a pork casing sausage, okay? And yeah, so often, often Italian. Wait, hold
Molly 14:52
up. I never thought about this pork casing would be wider in diameter than sheep case.
Matthew Amster-Burton 14:57
Yes, yeah. So the one that's like now, like a. Little over an inch in diameter that we had today. That's a pork casing. Okay? The one, the one that's like half an inch in diameter, that's a sheep casing. Got it like, and, of course, there's also, like, sausages without casings, or sausages with artificial casings. But those are the, those are the two most common got it Okay, yeah. So I want, I want a whole link sausage, like, usually Italian sausage, but sometimes a bratwurst, like, there's a lot of good sausages out there with a natural casing served on Franz bread. Calls it an outdoor roll, and I'm pretty fond of their outdoor roll. That's what we had today. But something, something that's basically like a bigger hot dog bun.
Molly 15:31
Yeah, it was less smushy than just the baseline Franz hot dog bun. It had a little more. There was a little more, like, friction between my hand and the body. There's a little it had a little more grip.
Matthew Amster-Burton 15:47
Yeah, yeah. No, I know what you mean, partly because there's like, a little semolina on there, or something like, with the grip. Like, you know, grip, grip is important because, like, you don't want to the whole thing to go flying out of your hand, like, one of those water weenies, right? Remember those so? Well, wait, yeah, if I mentioned that, that, like that, my parents give me one of those for Christmas every year. No, what do you do with them?
Unknown Speaker 16:10
Like, a closet?
Matthew Amster-Burton 16:15
I Yeah, but like at the bottom, at the bottom of the pile, like, there's so much pressure that they start to break into like, like, leaks, blue, blue liquid and little charms. But, yeah, no, I play for it for them for an hour and throw it or throw it away. Why don't you give it to me? I will next. Okay, thank you. Ask me, like, yeah,
Molly 16:39
just remember, like, when you get your your Christmas, weenie, Christmas,
Matthew Amster-Burton 16:43
yeah, you come over and say, like, Matthew, can I have that Christmas? Weenie? I'll be like, Sure, okay,
Molly 16:48
okay, okay, Matthew, so what next? We've got the frictional bun.
Matthew Amster-Burton 16:54
We got the frictional bun, but not fictional bun. It's all it's real. And, like, you can go, like, a little more upscale bun wise, but it's not, shouldn't be
Molly 17:04
like. You also don't want it on a bun that has too much density, right? You need your bun to, like, really yield to the teeth, yeah,
Matthew Amster-Burton 17:12
like a burger bun, you know, it's a the bun is a conveyance. It's not supposed to be the main event pizza. Okay, so let me talk about this mediocre sausage sandwich that I had. So we can talk about how to do it the right way. You gotta start with a good sausage and a good bun. That was not the problem at this place. They like steamed the sausage to the point that the casing got tough, which is not pleasant. Why? Like Steaming is the worst possible way to cook a sausage. Even boiling would be better, huh? I don't know why.
Molly 17:43
Exactly, yeah, talk to me about this. I mean, I know steam is hotter.
Matthew Amster-Burton 17:47
It might be because steam is hotter because, like, the Yeah, I feel like there's something that happens when the casing is is, is exposed to, like, wet, indirect, high heat, it starts to, like, kind of shrink and get really chewy, which is gross. Okay, so like braising, like a sausage, like in liquid, as long as you don't overdo. It works. Really works fine. It's not like the most exciting way to do it, but it's okay, okay. But grilled or sauteed or broiled, those are the ways to go. Okay, okay. Grilled is probably the best, hopefully
Molly 18:20
make for a snappy casing and a little brown deliciousness,
Matthew Amster-Burton 18:25
right? And you gotta heat the roll, or at least, you gotta toast it like even a steamed roll is quite good. I always toast it and I'll either toast it under the broiler, which I did today, or brush a little butter or olive oil on and toast it in a pan, which is really my preferred way, in order to get in good contact with the pan, you do have to smush it a little bit so you end up with kind of a smushed roll. But you know, what did you do today? Life is full of trade offs. I broiled, okay, okay, yep, there was no butter on the on the roll. There was no butter on the roll. Okay. I I meant to brush on a little, a little olive oil, I think would have been good, but I forgot. And I would say, like the sausage day, I think I overcooked by like, a minute, okay? Like, it could have been, you do it by temp. What do you do? I do it by temp, or just kind of a sense, because I've cooked a lot of sausages, okay, but, like, I didn't, I didn't want it to be even, like, the tiniest bit undercooked, so I so I went a little over, yeah, but I was still good. You don't want to, like, a really overcooked sausage that got up to like, 210 degrees is
Molly 19:22
not great, but I also do not want a rare right? So, so that's that's the
Matthew Amster-Burton 19:27
only thing that takes a little practice, or a probe thermometer, like you're shooting for like 161 65 in the middle, yeah, crisp the casing. Toast the roll. Don't overcook the sausage. That's all you need to know. I like to do this by going from stove top to oven. So I will take a, you know, an oven safe pan, like a stainless, stainless pan, get it really hot, put in a little olive oil, brown the sausage on one side, flip it over, put the pan into a 450, degree oven, and roast it in there till it's done. Oh, okay, that's really smart, yeah. Like, you can try and, like, like, Brown. Brown it the whole way on the stove top, but it takes longer than you would expect, okay? And like another way to do it, like you can simmer them and then brown them. You can brown them and braise them.
Molly 20:11
I usually simmer and then brown sausages, but most of the time I'm talking about like a pre cooked sausage, okay? So in that case, I could just eat it raw, right?
Matthew Amster-Burton 20:21
And, like, a pre cooked sausage can make an okay, sausage sandwich. Like, I don't think it's ever gonna be as, like, juicy and fresh tasting as a sausage that's cooked from raw I agree. Yeah, it's a totally different experience. It's totally different experience. Like, I've had some pre cooked ones that I thought were really well flavored, but, like, texture wise, never gonna be the best. Yeah, Italian sausage and bratwurst are my favorite. Like, a spicy Italian is probably my go to but, like, any sausage you like, obviously, is gonna make a good sandwich. Well, you, I mean, you over
Molly 20:50
there? Raised my hand, yeah, I'm raised my hand, yeah, yes, your hand is nice. I just need a logistical Oh, please. Issue cleared up for me. So you mentioned that if you, if you toast in the on the stove top, if you toast the bun in a skillet, yeah, that you have to, obviously, open it up and kind of flatten
Matthew Amster-Burton 21:10
it a bit, yes, right? And sometimes, sometimes the two pieces kind of fall apart, don't? You have
Molly 21:14
to do the same thing under the broiler, though. I mean, you've got to open it along the seam and make it stale,
Matthew Amster-Burton 21:19
yeah. The difference is, and that could still fall apart. Which is, which is not the worst thing. The difference is to, like, get good, you know, in the under the broiler, you've got, like, radiant heat coming down, yes, so you don't need to, like, worry about, like, whether the heat is contacting the surface when you're toasting in the pan. Like, if you just, like, open a bun and kind of put it onto the pan, it's not going to make very good contact with the hot surface, and so you press down on it a little bit in order to get a good toast, which also squishes the pot a little bit.
Molly 21:49
Okay, this makes sense. This is all it's so interesting, because this is the kind of stuff where, when you've done a lot of cooking, like, you understand this intuitively, like, I'm like, Oh, of course, if I'm going to toast it in a skillet, I do need to press it down, but I don't think about the reasoning for that. I just know,
Matthew Amster-Burton 22:05
yeah, no, it's I try to kind of gently, because, like, you can get to a point where you've really squished the bun and it's really flat, it's still good. It's just kind of weird.
Molly 22:13
And so when you open up a bun to put under the broiler, you just kind of open it enough that it stays open.
Matthew Amster-Burton 22:19
Yeah, exactly. Got it, okay? Like, I'm, like, I'm reading the newspaper. That's right,
Molly 22:23
okay. But some people, you know, like, snap the newspaper all the way back and fold it over on that,
Matthew Amster-Burton 22:31
do that, and, like, read the bun closely.
Molly 22:38
Okay, all right, all right. Okay, so sausages. You talked about sausage.
Matthew Amster-Burton 22:41
Talking about sausages. We talked about buns. There's one more ingredient.
Molly 22:44
Okay, so when I walked in to the studio today, which is also your apartment, the first thing I noticed was the absolutely gorgeous smell of well cooked onions and peppers.
Matthew Amster-Burton 22:58
Yeah, this is, like, kind of my favorite part. It's not that I wouldn't eat a sausage sandwich without them, but, like, they make it so much better. Like, when you go to a place that, you know, at a street fair or a restaurant that serves this sort of thing, there will usually be like, a big ass pile of sliced onions and green green bell peppers that have just been like, sitting cooking and, or and, or like sitting on a quarter of the griddle, like all day and just getting kind of brown and juicy. And I will, I will try and recreate that at home, like, by using, like, quite a bit of olive oil or butter. And used olive oil today and cooking them kind of on medium heat for longer than you would think, like, at least 20 minutes.
Molly 23:37
And you used green bell pepper, green bell pepper and just a regular yellow onion, yep.
Matthew Amster-Burton 23:41
And then I seasoned with some salt, pepper and red, crushed red pepper flakes. I thought
Molly 23:47
I got a little here in there. Okay. And so one thing I noticed is they weren't so cooked that I would say they were cooked down. They were not like jammy for Right, yeah, which can also be good, which could be really good. But what I also noticed is that they were, in no way, in any part, crunchy, right? They were well browned. I wouldn't say the onions. I mean, the onions were caramelized, but they were still, you know, onion colored in the middle,
Matthew Amster-Burton 24:16
right? Yeah. So, like, I like to first, I'll use, like, a lot of salt, like, enough salt that if you taste the the onions and peppers directly, they're too salty, because then, Oh, good, okay. Like, once it's, once it's used as a condiment, okay? And I will, like, cook them until, like, you know, the the pan is starting to get a little, like, gunky Brown, and then deglaze with just a little bit of water to, like, get that color and flavor back onto the onto the condiment. Okay? Oh, yeah. Other than that, I do like sauerkraut on a bratware sandwich. Like, my condiment phobia really kicks in hard here, because, like, I don't not interested in mustard, I'm not interested in ketchup. Like, there isn't really any any classic Condi, like liquid condiment that I want on mine. I love
Molly 24:59
mustard, but. I have to say, I don't know that I want mustard along with well cooked peppers and onions. I don't think I need it.
Matthew Amster-Burton 25:08
Okay, but like this, the sausage is supposed to be, like, sort of greasy enough to be its own sauce.
Molly 25:15
And so the one we had today was that, just like a classic Italian, just a classic Italian, oily sausage. Yeah, got it. That was fabulous. Yeah, I'll probably make it for lunch again, even when we're not doing an episode about it. I can't believe we've been making the show now for almost 16 years, and you hadn't made me a sausage sandwich. Yeah? I'm gonna I, or, wait, maybe you have, and I just forgot. I don't, I don't know, like this. No, this is for our sweet 16. Oh, hey, yeah. Well, we'll watch. Objection, yeah, 16 Candles. Another, another classic movie that isn't at all problematic. No, not at all. I nearly barfed when at the end that movie, The pretty girl gets with the complete douchewad. Yeah, I don't remember their names.
Matthew Amster-Burton 25:58
I don't care. Yeah, Molly brigwald is great. She's grading everything. It's not the actor's fault. No, it's not the actor's fault. Molly, do we have any spilled mail? And is it sausage related?
Molly 26:07
It is not sausage related. We have some spilled mail today from listener Jeff,
Molly 26:18
who says in a recent episode, you made a comment about backstage riders. What food elements would you put in your backstage rider if given the opportunity?
Matthew Amster-Burton 26:28
Best? Jeff, Well, Jeff, this is not a hypothetical question. Molly and I have toured the world. We've we've done shows in Portland, Oregon, Seattle, Washington, Los Angeles, California, Vancouver. We did? We do a show in Vancouver? I don't think we did okay. I don't remember. Maybe Okay, no, I've never had a backstage rider. It sounds awesome,
Molly 26:48
you know? Okay. So I felt pretty darn clear about the first thing, which is that I would need jalapeno kettle Yeah, yeah. Should I just do all my, do all your I want jalapeno kettle chips. I want cans of plain sparkling water. Under no circumstances do I want bottled San Pellegrino, which is not fizzy enough. Oh, okay, okay, so, yeah,
Matthew Amster-Burton 27:11
shots fired at this particular hot spring,
Molly 27:14
plain sparkling water. And I want it to be really cold. Yeah, yeah. I want a variety of chocolate bars and and by that, I mean, like, you know, the kind that you would find in, like, a nice grocery store, like, sure flavors and things, maybe some with caramel, maybe some choco. Love makes one that has freeze dried raspberries, interesting. Want a little something like that. Maybe a 70% chocolate, yeah, okay, I want a little variety. And then, I know this isn't food related, but I also would like a massage therapist,
Matthew Amster-Burton 27:39
absolutely. Yeah, if we're putting, if we're putting, we can put anything in this rider. That's, that's
Molly 27:43
great. Well, I mean, he did just say food elements, but, yeah, but it's our show, it's my show, and it's my show, and it's my rider, Jeff, we are, we
Matthew Amster-Burton 27:50
are the Divas here. Yeah, okay, so I, I was, I realized, like, as I was, as I realized just now, really, that when I was imagining this, I was imagining that I was going to be singing at this show. I wasn't thinking about a podcast, like a live podcast taping. I was imagining like me, like going on at, like, the oh two arena.
Molly 28:09
So were you trying to think of things that you know wouldn't mess up your vocals? Kind of,
Matthew Amster-Burton 28:13
although I put on was Peanut M, M's, which, like, do create a lot of shards.
Molly 28:18
Can you even imagine being like, Oh, I can't actually go
Matthew Amster-Burton 28:22
on right, because of the peanut M Ms. But then I would wash that all down with oy o Cha brand bottled Ho Chi Cha, so non caffeinated, roasted green tea served, like, stupid cold, okay? And Lay's original potato chips, okay? Like, I remember, remember how satisfying it was when we did the, like, plain potato chip episode, we're like, Oh, yeah. Like, Lay's is, like, one of the most perfect food products ever created.
Molly 28:46
It was amazing how different, different plain potato chips could be.
Matthew Amster-Burton 28:50
So, yeah. So that's I feel like. Now, though, I need to think bigger, because I apparently I can put anything in my rider.
Molly 28:56
So, like, Do you want any, like, body work? Do you want?
Matthew Amster-Burton 29:00
You know what? I want to like, to really, like, hype me up. So I'm, like, ready for this show. I want, like, a really tough guy to come in and we're gonna fight, but he's gonna let me win.
Molly 29:11
Oh, okay, particular kind of combat. Are we talking just like arm wrestling, like jello wrestling?
Matthew Amster-Burton 29:17
Yeah, I think jello wrestling. And it's got to be lime jello, okay? Because they're gonna be eating so then, so you're also going to need a change of clothes. I'm also gonna need a change that's gonna be in the rider also, yeah, it's the rider is growing, like, my diva status is increasing, okay, yeah, okay. This is gonna be a great show, like, So now everybody knows when I come out to sing my big concert, I will have just wrestled who's, who's, like a well known current muscle guy.
Molly 29:43
Oh, well, I mean Vin Diesel is Vin
Matthew Amster-Burton 29:46
Diesel, yeah, so I've just, I've just defeated Vin Diesel in hand to hand jello combat and and then I and then I took a shower and ate a bunch of potato chips. And now I'm ready to enter. Chain. I ate a bunch of potato chips in the shower. They got kind of soggy, but, but you'll be able to your
Molly 30:10
throats a little scratchy from all the potato chips and Eminem shards. Yeah, yeah.
Matthew Amster-Burton 30:15
But that's, that's what gives me, like, the grit that makes you know that I've, like, lived a full life.
Molly 30:21
It's a real Bob Seeger.
Matthew Amster-Burton 30:23
It's a real it's a real Bob Saget, Bob Seger thing, yeah. All right, wow. Now, Bob Saget rip now, imagining like that. He's like, okay, like, I'm not doing comedy anymore now. Now I'm gonna like, sing songs about like, you know how hard it is to be out on the road away from my family. Okay, all right, so our producer is Abby circuital. She'll probably be able to turn this into something
Molly 30:54
listenable. And you can rate and review us wherever you get your podcasts.
Matthew Amster-Burton 30:58
And why don't you like, compare sausage sandwich techniques with other listeners at reddit.com/r/everything,
Molly 31:06
spilled milk. That's right. And hey, if you were gonna eat, eat any food featured in The Breakfast Club movie, which food would it
Matthew Amster-Burton 31:16
be? Isn't doesn't she bring sushi? And that's how you know that she's that she's like, pretentious because she eats sushi. Maybe, I think, maybe I don't remember. Yeah, this was, I don't even want to talk about it. Okay, the 80s. Suck. I'm Molly Ringwald, and I'm who else is? Emilio Estevez. Emilio Estevez, you
Molly 31:44
I'm Molly, and I'm Matthew, and this is spilled milk, the show where we cook something delicious, eat it all, and you can't have any.
Matthew Amster-Burton 31:52
And today, I just realized that our microphones are swapped, which will mess things up for Abby, so I need to switch the cords. Oh, okay. Would Abby have survived? Sure, no, would the show have survived? No, it would have gone under.
Molly 32:08
Do we need to start over? Yeah.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai