This episode is not for the faint of ears. Producer Abby would like the listeners to know that she removed SO MANY sucking sounds from this episode so you're welcome. M and M taste North America's foremost lollipop brands (straightforward candy with handles) as they endure mystery flavors, mouth abrasions and nightmare puppets. We wonder how many licks it takes to reach the end of the show and what Ozzy was thinking before learning an important lesson.
Matthew Amster-Burton 0:04
I'm Matthew, and I'm Molly, and this is spilled milk, the show where we cook something delicious, eat it all, and you can't have
Molly 0:09
any today. We are talking about lollipop.
Matthew Amster-Burton 0:13
So sometimes, when it's my responsibility to, like, gather the things we're gonna taste for an episode with that's about like a packaged food sometimes I don't really come through and Molly's like, you know, why didn't you get Double Stuffed Oreos? I'm like, Oh no, I forgot the Double Stuffed Oreos. I feel like I really nailed this one. I feel like I did the world's, or at least North America's, four most important lollipops, and I got a variety of flavors. Give me a medal. Is what I'm saying. Yes, Molly. Molly is like putting a bunch of dumb, dumbs out on the table. Well, I'm just, I'm thinking about it. Okay, so this episode's just gonna have so much sucking. It's gonna, this episode is gonna suck. Producer Abby, like, don't leave all the sucking sounds in. Okay.
Molly 0:56
But Matthew, hold on, I needed to make sure I'm kind of like doling out the lollipops. Because I'm starting doling out the lollipops, I'm starting to salivate, and I Yeah, yeah,
Matthew Amster-Burton 1:07
no, I'm excited to start to start the licking. All right, by the way, this is our Christmas episode, so like, Merry Christmas to those who celebrate. This episode comes out on December 25
Molly 1:18
okay, okay, well, Merry Christmas everybody. I'm Molly.
Matthew Amster-Burton 1:22
And, oh yeah, right. And that was our lollipop episode. Thanks for listening. We represent the lollipop guild.
Molly 1:29
Oh god, yeah, we sure do. Okay, right? Hold on memory lane. Yeah, hold on. I just, I think at the outset, it's gonna be important to say which lollipops we have, because they're showing up on my memory. It's so important. Yeah, all right, so my memory lane is prominently, it prominently features Blow Pops. Oh, okay, because when I was in middle school, for some reason, Blow Pops were like,
Speaker 1 1:56
the thing. We were allowed. We were allowed to eat and drink in class. And I just remember it was the era of Blow Pops. Like everybody was super into Blow Pops. And I remember even asking for a lot of Blow Pops in my Easter basket that year. Oh, nice. Like maybe sixth grade. Wait, let's not, let's not Blow Pop. Right on by when you said we were allowed to eat and drink in class, I know you've mentioned this before, and I probably said the same thing last time, which is that if this had been allowed in my school, like, it would have escalated to the point where some kid had Fettuccine Alfredo, uh, no,
Molly 2:29
for us, it was mostly like Fanta and Funyuns.
Matthew Amster-Burton 2:32
Yeah, were these, like, things you could buy at the school
Molly 2:34
store. There was no school store in my middle school, there was a vet. There were two vendors. Oh, yeah, in my middle I mean, in my high school, there was a school
Matthew Amster-Burton 2:42
store, okay, and it sold more like Alfredo type stuff, best Fettuccine, okay, so the four lollipops I know I have to do my memory lane are Blow Pops, Tootsie Pops, dumb dumbs and Ring Pops,
Molly 2:57
yeah, and so wait, I'm not done with my memory lane. She said, for some reason, Tony Negroni among the things that she likes, you know, crackling cold Sauvignon Blanc. A Negroni, yeah, anything else she likes, we
Matthew Amster-Burton 3:10
need to, we need to like, add to her
Molly 3:11
lore. Okay, sure. Well, so she is a real tootsie pop fan. Oh, I mean, I did not know this too, I think, until I myself had children, but my mom is a big Tootsie Roll fan, and I didn't know this, but at Halloween, she like, gets a bag of Tootsie Pops, and she's just like, rolling through the season.
Matthew Amster-Burton 3:30
Okay, couple things. First off, is she a fan of unadorned Tootsie Rolls. By the way, I was and I were talking about this, I used the phrase naked tootsie rolls, and she said, Never say that again. So, yeah, so I don't like just a plain Tootsie Roll, but I love a Tootsie Pop. Oh, I like a plain Tootsie Roll. So, and did you notice on the bag, I believe it says Tootsie Roll pops, not Tootsie Pops. I always thought they were called Tootsie Pops, but it looks like they're not. I think,
Molly 3:59
well, I mean, they're made by a company called Tootsie Roll industries. You're right. You would think, because look, here's a little logo that just says Tootsie. So you would think, but that's an ad for the Dustin Hoffman move. So you would think that if these were meant to just be called Tootsie Pops,
Matthew Amster-Burton 4:17
and it's possible that, yeah, it does changed over time, but it's Tootsie Roll pops.
Molly 4:23
I think I'm saying they're really weird intonation. Just say Tootsie Roll. I'm just gonna say Tootsie Pops, Tootsie Roll, Tootsie Roll, Tootsie Roll, Tootsie Roll. Okay, Matthew, what else is on your memory lane?
Matthew Amster-Burton 4:37
Okay, so I don't have any like specific moments I have certainly consumed many of each of these types of lollipops and Ring Pops were a big thing at some point when I was in elementary school that this was considered like a primo candy to get. I don't know why. I guess because it went on your finger and you could just, like, lick it throughout the day until it. Until inevitably, you, like, dragged it, like, against the carpet or something
Molly 5:03
through your backpack. Okay, well, so the one major lollipop that we don't have today is Chupa Chups, yeah, and, and a lot of what I want to talk about today is Chupa Chups, because
Matthew Amster-Burton 5:16
the other major type is, like the all day sucker, like the big ass rainbow kind. Yeah, State Fair bags to get at the state fair. Not gonna get that. No, not gonna get that. Have you ever had a Chupa Chup? By the way, if I go silent here, it's because I died trying to open the Blow Pop bag, which is the most impenetrable packaging I've ever encountered on the show. I'm gonna, I'm gonna get the scissors. I'm afraid the scissors are gonna break.
Molly 5:40
What about a naked What if you try putting, like a naked Tootsie Roll here? It's such a repellent concept. Maybe it'll open the thing. Hold on. I just I feel compelled to choose what flavor I want of each of these
Speaker 1 5:57
things. I believe it says some of these Ring Pops are like Halloween themed tongue staining ones, and I want that, then it's this one. Matthew, so let's talk about what, what do you call these things? Lollipops? No, but I mean, like, did you ever call them suckers? Oh, no, is that a regionalism? I think I grew up calling these Whoa, which is the like, is the Blow Pops that are producing that aroma. Oh, I don't know. Oh, yeah, sure is, yeah. How are we going to do this logistically? No, because I really want to start eating, yeah, because, I mean, but we can easily, like, taste some dumb, dumbs, but some of these we have to get to the center, like this could take hours.
Molly 6:36
This could take hours. Maybe we should just, you, go ahead and start, because I'm going to be talking a lot.
Matthew Amster-Burton 6:40
All right, I'm starting with a dumb, dumb mystery. How do we cheese plate? This got to start with dumb, dumbs,
Molly 6:45
right? Okay, so are we starting with a dumb but I haven't gotten around to explaining the
Matthew Amster-Burton 6:50
mystery flavor. Okay, I'll take, I'll take a regular flavor. Okay, here we go. So cotton can so people
Molly 6:56
call these things different names. You know, of course, lollipop sucker. Some people just call them lollies. I think of that as a British ism so I really loved the way the Wikipedia page for this started out when it talks about, like the history, it says the idea of an edible candy on a stick is straightforward. And it's not that I think it's not straightforward. I just, I'll find
Matthew Amster-Burton 7:23
anything I can get get into the episode. Just saying, because I will lollipop in my mouth.
Molly 7:27
I don't know that. I think this is all that straightforward. Thinking, I'm not sure. One thing that I that I found, was that the first version of what we call lollipops today probably date back to the Middle Ages, when the nobility would eat boiled sugar with the aid of sticks or handles
Matthew Amster-Burton 7:46
with a handle, like, like a drawer.
Molly 7:51
Yeah, I'm thinking of, like, you know, I don't know, like, a suitcase, hand, right? Telescoping anyway, but I get that like, if you're eating something that is sticky, like a caramel apple, yeah, okay, I get why you would put that on a stick,
Matthew Amster-Burton 8:06
but, I mean, this is sticky as soon as you lick it well,
Molly 8:09
but it's not sticky until then. And why on earth do we need to take it out of our mouth 8 million times? I mean, dum
Matthew Amster-Burton 8:17
dum, for instance, yeah, no, dum dum could. Could, could, in principle, just be a little hard candy. That's right.
Molly 8:22
So I want to dispute Wikipedia's assertion of a lollipop. No, I want to dispute the statement that the idea of an edible candy on a stick is straightforward.
Matthew Amster-Burton 8:35
No, I agree with you. But then, once you get to, like, Blow Pop or tootsie pop size, like you're not gonna keep that in your mouth until it's dissolved. Or are you No, I think, I think you're right. By the way, Dum Dums are great. I love 'em. Which one do you have cotton candy? It's blue. Do you like the fruit flavors best? So one
Molly 8:55
thing I wanna inquire about here between you and me is, do lollipops make your mouth hurt, like the roof of your mouth. Do you find it then, like a braiding
Matthew Amster-Burton 9:04
it depends on the lollipop dumb. Dumbs, not really Tootsie Pops. Yes. I don't know if that's because of like the like ring around the Tootsie pop that has like a sharp edge, or if it's something about the sugar consistency.
Molly 9:16
Okay, well, we'll discuss it more as we move along. Okay, so lots of different companies in the early 1900s especially in the US, claimed to invent the lollipop. Okay, here we go. You're gonna really like this. According to one account, they were invented by George Smith, I believe it, of New Haven Connecticut, a guy who started making large hard candies on sticks in 1908 there was no link. There was no link. Like, I can't tell you who he worked for. He's just George Smith of New Haven, Connecticut, all
Matthew Amster-Burton 9:44
right, yeah, he didn't, he didn't have a candy company. He would just like make them in his kitchen and hand them to children.
Molly 9:49
But that's right, he named them after a race horse named lollipop, and he trademarked the name in 1931 that said there's an English lexicographer named. Francis Gross, who recorded the term lollipop in 1796 as a combination of the words Lolly, referring to tongue and pop referring to slaps.
Matthew Amster-Burton 10:12
So we could be calling these tongue slaps. Tongue slaps. I love that, right?
Molly 10:16
Yeah, slap it. Or apparently it might also be a word of Romani origin, related to the Roma tradition of selling candy apples on a stick in the Romani language. Lowly faba means red apple.
Matthew Amster-Burton 10:29
I'm gonna say I think that is probably a false cockney. I think so. It's a good story.
Molly 10:34
It is a good story. I just want to be clear that, like there are a lot of lollipops that are sort of like novelty lollipops that we're not going to be discussing, all right, like novelty lollipops with like a meal worm inside. Oh, yeah, I've seen those. Me too. Me too. They've got those ones that have a motor so they spin in your mouth. So, yeah, just hold your tongue still and spins against what a labor saver, I know, right?
Matthew Amster-Burton 11:00
It's like, it's like those mechanical pencils that we like, I think we once sent to subscribers. The lead spins while you're writing. That's right. Same, same principle.
Molly 11:11
We are also not tasting any salty licorice flavored lollipops, which apparently exists in northern Of course, they do. And then, of course, there are medicinal lollipops that are given to patients with a lot of pain, you know, like a fentanyl lollipop, which is a really bad idea if you are not prescribed to them by a doctor. Thank you. Yeah, so let's get into some brands here. Yes, okay, so let's start with Dum Dums. All right. Dum Dums launched in Ohio in 1924 and they're still made there. Wow. Okay. The name was proposed by an early sales manager who suggested that it was a phrase any child could say.
Matthew Amster-Burton 11:47
I think Dum Dums were recently featured on Planet money because they were talking about, like sugar prices, like, like sugar price controls. That sounds like a planet money topic. I think they interviewed like the CEO of dumb dumbs, because they use a lot of sugar.
Molly 12:02
Yeah, yeah. Well, as of the Wikipedia entry writing, 12 million of these dudes were being made per day in Wow. And then, okay, Matthew, we've both got a mystery flavor done. Yes. So what is the deal with the mystery flavor? So the mystery flavor is the result of the end of one batch mixing with the next batch, rather than them, like stopping production to clean the machines. What color is your mystery flavor? Oh, mine is red. Okay, mine is kind of a honey color. Okay, so they're really all different. Mine tastes like mostly cherry, I would say, oh, but mine tastes mostly root beer, okay? I think it's root beer, maybe mixed with butterscotch, although I haven't had the root beer or the butter. Yeah, wow. What do you think there's got a lot here. I'm gonna taste yours now. Oh yeah, this is mostly cherry. This is 100
Matthew Amster-Burton 12:51
Yeah, this is totally root beer and butterscotch. You're right, yeah? Like, mine is really, like 99% cherry and this, this is like a Franken Franken pop. I'm not sure I think this constitutes, like, the first time Molly and I frenched on the air. Ooh. This is, like, what you're talking about in middle school, like, while eating lollipops. Gross.
Molly 13:09
Yeah, okay. I mean, I think mine was more interesting, yeah, 1000 times
Matthew Amster-Burton 13:13
more. That's so cool about I like, I think I've had this explained to me before, and I forgot, and I'll probably forget again, so I can enjoy the explanation again next time. I mean, it's kind of brilliant. It's brilliant.
Molly 13:23
Yeah, hold on. Should we open up another mystery flavor? Yeah, they're a bunch in here. I had no idea the whole episode mystery. Mystery pop,
Matthew Amster-Burton 13:31
what percentage of Dum Dums are mystery pop, oh, well, Wikipedia didn't tell me that. Okay, this one's like, light green. Ooh, that's pretty, yeah, that's like
Molly 13:41
a true oh, wait, I've got the same one. I'm getting a lot of lime, yeah, and nothing else. What if I try a cherry limeade?
Matthew Amster-Burton 13:50
Oh, nice. And what if I try cotton candy lime?
Molly 13:55
Ooh, I like a cherry limeade.
Matthew Amster-Burton 14:00
We're both quitting. This is the grossest
Molly 14:02
Japanese lollipops in our mouths at the same time. Yeah.
Matthew Amster-Burton 14:05
So I get a Dum Dum every time I go get my hair cut, they have a bowl of Dum Dums at the barber shop for I think, like, maybe the first couple times I was like, I don't need a lollipop. I'm a grown up. And then, and then, like, I picked up a lollipop and, like, walking down the street, suck it out. A dumb, dumb is the best. It's great. So I
Molly 14:24
just want to check in my mouth is not yet feeling a
Matthew Amster-Burton 14:27
Burton, but I haven't finished in the right? Yeah. I'm curious to see whether this happens to me now too. Okay, should we try a ring? Let's try a ring. So the so, the thing about a Ring Pop is, like you can use it to get engaged. That's it's so
Molly 14:42
French kissed. Are we gonna get engaged?
Matthew Amster-Burton 14:44
I think so, yeah, so, so, but except now we're each opening our own ring pops, or we're supposed to be like slipping it onto each other's fingers. Ooh, the ring is pretty small. Well, these are for children, for child. Okay, so my flavor is Ring Pop, tongue painters, purple Berry Punch. Artificially flavored. They couldn't get real purple berry
Molly 15:03
flavor. I like this more than I would think I would, but I feel like a baby with a pacifier.
Matthew Amster-Burton 15:09
Yeah, I kind of love this. The like facets are so satisfying to put in your mouth.
Molly 15:14
How am I gonna hardly get the whole thing in my mouth? Because plastics in the way. I just want to put the whole ring in my
Matthew Amster-Burton 15:24
mouth. Is my tongue getting painted? Yes,
Molly 15:27
Matthew, is this product just truly not.
Matthew Amster-Burton 15:30
It's not. The design isn't great. Like the design of the candy hunk, like lump itself, is great. But like the fact that it has to have this sort of, sort of shield to, like, shield your finger from getting dripped on, like, gets in the way of your of your mouth.
Molly 15:45
So if I make kind of a curly thing with my tongue,
Matthew Amster-Burton 15:50
but not everyone can even do a curly thing with their tongue. Yeah, the candy is really good. But, like, Yeah, I like the candy a lot. It's got a really smooth texture, yeah, and it's gonna get more smooth the more you lick it. And how does yours taste? It tastes like purple Berry Punch. Mine is strawberry. This episode is gonna have, like, a big warning label, just for the sounds.
Molly 16:15
It's strawberry. And I really like it, like I would come back to this, yeah, and finish
Matthew Amster-Burton 16:19
it stuck on my finger. Oh, no.
Molly 16:22
Okay, Matthew, I want to keep eating lollipops, but I have to talk about about, like, history. Okay, let's talk about some Chupa Chups. Yeah, please. Which I watched a video to try to understand how to say them.
Matthew Amster-Burton 16:32
I love Chupa Chups. When I was a kid, I couldn't find any. Okay, I take back the thing where I like came through with everything I didn't get Chupa Chups.
Molly 16:40
So basically, it seems like some people say Chupa Chups, some people say Chupa Chups, but I say Chupa Chups. But if you're going by the Spanish because it the name comes from the Spanish verb chupar, meaning to suck, yeah. So they're basically called sucky sucks. Sucky sucks. These guys are sold in over 150
Speaker 1 16:59
countries. Oh, I think you say we're at 150 flavors, which wouldn't have surprised me. Are they the world's most popular lollipop? I think, okay, yeah, I think so. And they're often sold in like a tree, right? They are often sold in a tree. I feel like when I was a kid, the place you would see these the most often was, like at a museum gift shop,
Molly 17:19
or like, really, gift shop, yes, yes. Like, because they gift shop, they come with a really effective display, like strategy, like, it comes with its own end cap kind of vibe, right? So the logo was designed by Salvador Dali in 1969
Matthew Amster-Burton 17:39
is it? Is it just? It's just take a look at the it's just the words, right? Wait, what? What are you opening a Blow Pop. I saw you doing one, and I didn't want to be left out the
Molly 17:49
cherry one, though. Yeah, okay, oh, oh, but, man, this is rough. This is gonna mess my tongue
Matthew Amster-Burton 17:55
up, yeah. And I think the Tootsie, the Tootsie pop, is also gonna be rough. Maybe the roughest.
Molly 17:59
Hmm, this grape, I've got a great Blow Pop. And it's too sweet this, yeah,
Speaker 1 18:06
and clearly, I like lollipops, yeah, exactly. It's just kind of, I keep waiting to have some acidity. Exactly. It's missing acid. It doesn't have any brightness to it. That's just bother to get to the Gump. I don't
Molly 18:17
want to, I don't want to continue with you blow pop. So Blow Pops are made by Tootsie Roll industries. Oh, okay. Oh, boy. Okay. Hold on. I want to say more about Chupa Chups, please. In the 1980s Chupa Chups participated in an anti smoking slow or like, anti smoking campaign, okay, they used the like catch phrase, smoke Chupa Chups. I love it to attract adult consumers. The company's current anti smoking slogan is, stop smoking, start sucking. Okay, will they get with their packages parodying cigarette pack designs?
Matthew Amster-Burton 18:54
Do they are there ads with like, you know, sexy people licking Chupa Chups instead of cigarettes? Maybe cigarette ads, sexy people. I remember the 80s. Yeah, no,
Molly 19:06
some packages of Chupa Chups even parody the mandatory black and white warning labels that the EU puts on packs of cigarettes. They say sucking does not kill okay, it depends
Matthew Amster-Burton 19:18
what you suck. Is that what you're gonna say? Yeah, okay.
Molly 19:21
And in 1995 Chupa Chups became the first candy to be sent to the Mir space station.
Matthew Amster-Burton 19:26
Nice, yeah, yeah, no, it's probably good, because it doesn't, it doesn't like shatter and cause like problems in zero gravity, is my
Molly 19:34
guess. Okay, wait, so let's taste the Tootsie pop. Because honestly, I'm fascinated to see. I mean, fascinated is a strong word, but if they taste better, oh, this
Matthew Amster-Burton 19:44
is like chocolate, all right, I'm gonna try this skeptical of the chocolate, chocolate lollipop.
Molly 19:51
Okay, wait, hang on. I'm gonna open up this grape one because I had a grape Blow Pop, and I want to see if there's a difference in the candy flavor. Which. Between a grape tootsie pop and a grape Blow Pop.
Matthew Amster-Burton 20:03
Now, I did open the Tootsie Pops the other day because I couldn't resist and I had an orange one. I thought it was really good. The thing about a Tootsie Pop, which I know you're going to tell us
Molly 20:12
about, but this has more acidity. Hold on, hold on. Wait a minute.
Matthew Amster-Burton 20:16
Oh yeah, it's not even close. I mean, I know, I know this. I'm doing a slightly
Molly 20:20
different flavor of a Blow Pop is just not good. Whereas, like, for instance, a grape tootsie pop, so weird. Why would they be different? Hold on. Can we just pause before I talk about Tootsie Pops? Can we pause and talk about the shape of these? These all have really different shapes. So the Tootsie pop, let's compare it to Saturn. Okay, it is Saturn that is mounted with its rings vertical.
Matthew Amster-Burton 20:44
Yeah, Saturn, the rings are little or a little. They aren't, like, connected to the planet. But this one is right, okay, yeah, I just want to clarify that the that the ring around the Tootsie Pop isn't somehow,
Molly 20:57
like, just made of, like gas and floating, yes, okay. Whereas on a dum, dum, which is also spherical and has, oh, it's mounted with the rings horizontal, so
Matthew Amster-Burton 21:12
they all have a ring. How they get made, I think so too. I think we may have to watch one of those on what's the mark summer unwrap with Mark summers, I bet he went to a lollipop factory. I got this golden ticket that said I can go to a candy factory. I bet nothing bad will happen, whereas, okay, so with a blow pop, which we wait a minute, I just made a Willy Wonka joke. Don't I get some credit for this? I missed it. Oh, man, I said I got a golden ticket. I got it said I got a golden ticket that, and now I get to go to a candy factory. Probably nothing bad will
Molly 21:47
happen, right? Nothing bad you're gonna know. Nothing bad will happen. It's because I don't have any character flaws. Don't eat the three course meal, gum, oh, don't drink the fizzy lifting drink, okay, what about this drink from the chocolate river.
Matthew Amster-Burton 22:02
What about the three in a bun, sausage sandwich last week?
Molly 22:15
Okay? Matthew, hold on. We need to talk about the shape of the Blow Pop.
Matthew Amster-Burton 22:18
We need to talk about the shape of the Blow Pop. It is ovoid, yeah,
Molly 22:21
I would say it's, it's giving me some barrel vibes. It is barrel, barrel ish, and it also has ring, so ring, but it's kind of a
Matthew Amster-Burton 22:31
band. We may, we may need to do a little more research into why, why lollipops have a ring, because I didn't realize they all had
Molly 22:38
it well. But doesn't it seem that they're like, made and fused, like two halves are fused together.
Matthew Amster-Burton 22:45
But why does that require a ring to, like, keep them? Is the ring holding the two halves in place? You think,
Molly 22:50
Well, it's one ring to bind. Yeah, that's one ring to unite them and in the darkness, bind them.
Matthew Amster-Burton 22:57
What's the first ring do? How many rings are there nine?
Molly 23:01
Okay, there were nine power Oh, man. Five were given to or nine were given to men.
Matthew Amster-Burton 23:09
I just, I just put three Dum Dums in my mouth at once. And that's too many, just flavor wise, wow, I'm having a good time. I am having a good time too. This is great. I feel, you know what this feels like. It feels like Halloween night.
Molly 23:20
It really does look at this like, like, bounty. Yeah. All right. So we've tried that. We tried them all now, right? One other comment about the ring, pop, yeah, really nice acidity, the smoothest texture, and it is made by bazooka.
Matthew Amster-Burton 23:34
Oh, okay, I love bazooka gum when I mean, I didn't love the gum, but I loved getting a little stupid cartoon. How's the acidity of yours? Oh, quite acidic. It's good.
Molly 23:42
It's really good. Okay, all right, so let's talk about Tootsie Pops. Now that we got around to Tootsie Pops,
Matthew Amster-Burton 23:47
I want to get to like, and we'll talk about, like, how many licks does it take? I'm sure. But like, that moment when you, like, crack through into the chocolate, how many other foods are there that have, like, a moment of metamorphosis, like that, like a
Molly 24:01
climax, a moment of like, Revelation, yes, yeah. There must be others. What about what do you call, like a remember, this was kind of a trendy dessert in some Oh, a bomb, an ice cream bomb,
Matthew Amster-Burton 24:14
yeah, okay. But like, when was the last time you encountered an ice cream bomb? I don't think I've ever had
Molly 24:20
one? No, I made one last night. Don't believe you.
Matthew Amster-Burton 24:26
Okay? What if it was true? What if you just pulled out your phone? You're like, Nope, I did, yeah. Well, I made Baked Alaska. Okay?
Molly 24:33
In Latin America, Tootsie Pops are known as Tootsie Chupa pops love it. They were invented in 1931 although tootsie rolls have been around since 1896 Apparently, some guy who worked at the candy company licked his daughter's lollipop at the same time that he was chewing a Tootsie Roll.
Matthew Amster-Burton 24:51
That's the not. That's the worst way to tell that stupid that story. I hate it
Molly 24:55
anyway, but that's apparently how tootsie rolls were born. I mean, Tootsie pop. Pops. What do you think that we could lick or or chew at the same time turn
Matthew Amster-Burton 25:05
this into a like, a million dollars? Okay, that's a good question, like, see here, yeah, let's, let's. Let's restrict it to like things, things like in my dining room, which is quite a few things.
Molly 25:18
Okay, well, right now I've got a cherry tootsie pop,
Matthew Amster-Burton 25:21
like arborio rice, seeing some,
Molly 25:25
some soy sauce, and I'm also seeing some Absinthe, okay,
Matthew Amster-Burton 25:30
so, so, like something Absinthe, pop, yeah, right. So, yeah, like a pop with, with, like, liquid Absinthe on the on the inside, and like a soy sauce exterior. Any soy sauce exterior?
Molly 25:42
All right. Okay, so Tootsie Pops are known for the catchphrase, how many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop this was first used in an ad in 1969 and it's been used in like all their ads ever
Speaker 1 25:56
since we were watching TV two nights ago and saw and they, and the classic tootsie pop commercial was on, like, on Hulu or something. Well, apparently there's a brand new version of it. Oh, I haven't seen that, yeah, like, stream version of like, with like, I think it's like, some kid asking, like, it's like, a it's animated or something. I mean, the original one was animated. They didn't get a real owl, no.
Molly 26:20
But, I mean, like, like, CGI, okay, yeah.
Matthew Amster-Burton 26:26
Like, it's like, like, the beginning of a Pixar movie, and it makes
Molly 26:30
you cry. Okay, Matthew, would you read this study about how many licks does it take?
Matthew Amster-Burton 26:34
According to Wikipedia, a student study by Purdue University concluded that it took an average of 365 licks to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop using a quote, licking machine. As soon as they apologize, everyone's like, how do I get this licking machine? Well, it took an average of 253 licks when tried by 20 students, all who were all licking the same lollipop. I assume it doesn't say yet another study, it's like when a doo wop band, when they gather around the same microphone and be like they're all gathered around the same lollipop licking it. Yet another study by the University of Michigan concluded that it takes 412 licks to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop a 1996 study by undergraduate students at Swarthmore College concluded that it takes a median. You know, I applied to
Molly 27:20
Swarthmore College. I toured Swarthmore. Swarthmore, I
Matthew Amster-Burton 27:24
had, if I had gone there and had not dropped out of college in 1995 I would have been around when they were doing this study, and I might have gotten paid like $5 to lick.
Molly 27:33
I toured it the fall of the year. They did this study. And look at how efficient these Swarthmore College, astute art, isn't it? Is it? Swath Swarthmore,
Matthew Amster-Burton 27:43
I think that is sort of how they say it. Yeah. Concluded, it takes a meeting of 146 licks range 70 to 222 but like, okay, in 2014 the tribology Laboratory at the University of Florida. What is Tribology? I've never heard this word before. I just copied it straight. Okay. Well, let's just study Okay. Well, while I'm reading this, could you Google tribology please? Published a study examining the coupled effects of biology, corrosion and mechanical agitation on the wear of Tootsie Roll pops. The number of licks required to reach the center was found to be nearly independent of the licking style, with the one sided approach requiring 195 plus minus 18 licks, and the full surface approach requiring 184 plus minus 33 what I have so many questions, like, that's not possible.
Molly 28:30
Even mean, like, immediate, like, a median of 146 licks. I'm sorry. Oh, okay,
Matthew Amster-Burton 28:35
okay, wait, I think I understand. So I was imagining that they were saying that. Like, if you alternate licking each side. It takes just as many licks as if you keep licking the same side. I'm like, That's not physically possible, but I think it's that if you, like, take your tongue and, like, go around, like, versus then, I don't know, wait,
Molly 28:55
do you really spin it this way? This is
Matthew Amster-Burton 28:58
a really good question. When you put a lollipop in your mouth, a Do you spin it? And if so, like, do you spin it both directions, or just one
Molly 29:05
direction? Spin it until it gets nice and smooth. Okay, I'll start spinning it real soon, dude. I've gotta, I've gotta break in the surface. Oh, wow. Okay, wow. That was quick. Hold on. Tribology is the science and engineering that studies. Sorry, this is an AI generated response. It's like the science of friction, wear and lubrication between interacting surfaces in relative motion. That is so cool. It focuses on the design materials and lubrication of mechanical components like gears and bearings to reduce these effects used in various industries.
Matthew Amster-Burton 29:42
There aren't any other foods that I can think like, like, setting aside the ice cream bombs that you make several times a week. Like, I'm licking this. I'm like, I'm like, there's such a feeling of anticipation, right? I have so much saliva, yeah, and but like, I'm so excited to get this point like, that sound that it makes when you. Crack through. What an incredible feat of engineering, of tribology, one might say,
Molly 30:06
I noticed you've you've chosen the orange tootsie pop to finish rather than the chocolate
Matthew Amster-Burton 30:10
one chocolate lollipop, not really the greatest flavor.
Molly 30:14
Okay, okay, I've gone with the grape because it has more acidity than the cherry. I'm not a fan of grape candy? Oh, I am a grape tootsie pop. There are not very many in this package. And it's a, it's a really good product.
Matthew Amster-Burton 30:27
I just noticed a pure butterscotch. Dum. Dum, I'm setting this aside.
Molly 30:31
Matthew, look, I've got a fisher, yeah, lower half, but I don't that's
Matthew Amster-Burton 30:37
is like, what do they mean? Like to get to the center? Is it like when the first hint of Tootsie Roll peeks through the surface, like, like yours? Is it like when you choose to bite in? Is it like when all of the sugar is gone?
Molly 30:51
Matthew, I just kind of stuck one of my my canine teeth in the part near the the breach where the hole has been breached. It doesn't feel like it's quite ready.
Matthew Amster-Burton 31:02
I got no, I think, yeah, it just it takes more time. We have to finish this off air. And everyone is so disappointed to hear that. Let's pause it
Molly 31:12
so my tootsie pop has gotten to the point where I can stick it in the corner of my mouth and keep talking. And I was just thinking, you know, these are tastier than I expected. Yeah, yeah. But the incentive of getting to the Tootsie Tootsie Roll center is really powerful for me. I don't know what incentivizes me to keep going with a
Matthew Amster-Burton 31:29
Dum. Dum, well, you do get to a point where you can bite the dumb, dumb. Do? Do you bite a dumb, dumb, I do bite. I do. I bite a dumb dumb too. I think I might be able to, I think I'm even close. But also, like, the incentive is, like, you get more show? Not quite ready? Yeah, we paused. But then, for some reason, we unpaused.
Molly 31:46
Matthew, how do you feel about the Ring Pop? I mean, I just feel like it's not made for my mouth, but, oh God, it just bit the whole head. Chew on Mike. Oh, oh, wait, listen, oh. Lollipop stuck to my leg because I was chewing with my mouth open, I got it on your rug. Look at this. Wow. Oh, this is so good.
Matthew Amster-Burton 32:15
Oh, yeah, I never, I always bite the whole head off.
Speaker 2 32:21
That's crazy. But I'm doing that.
Matthew Amster-Burton 32:28
Hmm, wow, wow, Merry Christmas to us. Wow. Touchy pops are great, wow. I think they put drugs in
Molly 32:39
them. I feel so just at peace. Uh huh, there's peace on earth.
Matthew Amster-Burton 32:43
Man. That's, that's like a climactic moment. Oh, when you bite, when you bite the head off the Tootsie, pop. Oh, it's probably what Ozzy felt like rip when he bit a head off, bit ahead off a bat. Not the head off, but a head off like an animal. Yeah, you know, Ozzy Osbourne once bit the head off a bat. This is one of those things, one of those things that you're like, This has to be an urban legend. But it turns out, oh no, this actually did happen. Oh, he didn't realize it was a real bat until it was too late. Someone threw a bat on stage, not I think it was dead. Certainly was after Ozzy was through with it. What's your take, Paul,
Molly 33:24
hold up. I just don't believe that he picked it up in his
Matthew Amster-Burton 33:28
hand, put in his mouth. You're right. It doesn't really make sense.
Molly 33:31
Didn't know that it wasn't a plastic bat.
Matthew Amster-Burton 33:35
But like, when you're, when you're on stage, like you know you're, you're like a heavy metal man, and and, you know, you're not, you're not thinking about, you're gonna bite whatever someone throws on stage. Like, that's just your thing.
Speaker 1 33:50
Okay, so when we, when we do our show, like, throw, throw lollipops on stage, please, not bats. Was this like at the peak of Ozzy's, the height of his powers? I think so.
Molly 33:59
Wow. Do you think he had to get like, a rabies shot after so, yeah, and then, I mean, like, are there pictures of this? Like, was his face, like, covered in bat blood?
Matthew Amster-Burton 34:09
I don't, I don't know if there are pictures. No, I don't want to find
Molly 34:13
out to an Ozzy Osbourne show a
Matthew Amster-Burton 34:15
cool guy. That is a good question. You're probably, it's probably not legal to carry around a dead bat. Well anyway, maybe this probably happened in England, and maybe it is legal there.
Molly 34:27
Hey, don't do we have any segments? Oh, yeah,
Matthew Amster-Burton 34:31
we have some spilled mail. I'm not sure if I can read it, because my there are a bunch of lollipops fused to my agenda, but I'll try. Ah,
Matthew Amster-Burton 34:48
listener, Natalie writes, I just finished listening to your cool cookies episode, Happy Birthday Matthew, and wanted to share another very bizarre jingle, slash PSA, that lives rent free. In my brain, I believe it's Canadian, so I don't know if it's. Recognizable to you or not. I live in Ottawa. It's called don't put it in your mouth. It was a PSA directed at children, warning them not to put strange things in their mouths. My brother and I would say to each other all the time as kids, I believe we could still perform it from start to finish if you asked us to here's the link. Love the podcast. Been a listener since day one. We're gonna drop this in. I'm gonna play it for Molly. Now, who has not seen it.
Molly 35:21
Hold on. I just can't believe how perfect this is. After that Ozzy Osbourne bat story, like, do not put that in your mouth.
Matthew Amster-Burton 35:31
That's right, that was not a setup. The email was on a different page, and I have had no idea which one we picked for this episode. I believe, yeah. Like, No, I wasn't thinking, like, we're about to do a thing about, don't put it in your in your mouth. I better start talking about Ozzy Osbourne biting a bat. No, you're right. Clearly, he did not watch this. He didn't grow up in Ottawa, apparently. Oh yeah, okay, let's pull this up.
Unknown Speaker 35:52
It might look good. Real?
Matthew Amster-Burton 36:19
Yes, it's like, it's like five nights at Freddy's.
Matthew Amster-Burton 36:37
The lion looks like he's about to die, right? They're like, we don't have full control of this puppet, but whatever one we got one take here. Yes, I mentioned that to listener, Natalie, who said, Yeah, I think, I think that lion put
Molly 37:06
someone else's medicine.
Matthew Amster-Burton 37:09
Like, these are, these are like, you know, like, if this, if Jim Henson had, like, shown up and like, like, I created Muppets, you know, he would not. He would be forgotten by history exactly with these guys, because these are, like, shitty Muppets, some real low rent muffin muffins next next week on the show, low rent. Anyway, that was great. Thank you. Listener, Natalie, we had never seen this before because we didn't grow up in Ottawa, and it's really amazing.
Molly 37:44
Okay, well, our producer is Abby circatella.
Matthew Amster-Burton 37:47
Is she in for it? Please rate review us. Wherever you get your
Molly 37:51
podcasts. You can chat with other spilled milk listeners, at reddit.com/r/everything,
Matthew Amster-Burton 37:56
spilled milk. And until next time, don't you put us in your ears unless we're a potato or a beet, and you'll have to face your fears
Molly 38:06
before the pearly gates. You will meet.
Matthew Amster-Burton 38:11
I'm Matthew Amster-Burton.
Molly 38:13
I'm Molly, yeah,
Matthew Amster-Burton 38:20
it looks like Halloween.
Molly 38:22
It looks like somebody, like, got a hold of your credit card and pranked you.
Matthew Amster-Burton 38:26
It does Okay, wow, okay, okay, I feel like, you know, sometimes, sometimes, okay, well, you should probably start the episode before I start the episode. Yeah. Okay.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai