419: Fried Eggs Revisited
And I'm Molly. And
Matthew Amster-Burton 0:05
this is a show where for 10 years, we've been cooking something delicious eating it all and you
have been having it.
Unknown Speaker 0:18
You, Matthew, I can't believe we're here.
Matthew Amster-Burton 0:25
I can't believe we're here either. Luckily, I mean, everything is pretty much the same as it was when we started. Nothing interesting has happened.
You're living in the same place.
Matthew Amster-Burton 0:34
That's true. This is the same studio. I'm
living in a different place. That's true. We moved in 2011.
Matthew Amster-Burton 0:41
And that's the most interesting thing that's happened to you.
Oh, yeah, definitely. The most interesting thing that's happened to me is this
Matthew Amster-Burton 0:47
memory lane, by the way, you have a
different spouse. Yeah.
Matthew Amster-Burton 0:50
And I mean, like, just just one. Yeah, just just one.
I'm still not married to Matthew. That's true.
Matthew Amster-Burton 0:58
I mean, still we there was a brief period where we accidentally river we became common law podcast spouses, but then we had to get that handled so that you could marry ash.
I thought that it was the kind of thing where like, if you take care of somebody else's property for X number of years becomes your
Unknown Speaker 1:12
property. Yeah. And squatters, right? Yes.
Yeah. So so you
Matthew Amster-Burton 1:16
now own my dining room?
Yes. Exactly. All right. I showed that I devoted
Unknown Speaker 1:22
sufficient resources to it. Yeah, totally. Right. Nothing like the law is the law.
Anyway, so today, we're doing something that we've never done before and made everyone that
Matthew Amster-Burton 1:31
will do it again on the 20th anniversary episode. Can't
wait to see where we are, then.
Matthew Amster-Burton 1:36
Yeah. It's gonna be great.
Anyway, today, we are revisiting our very first episode fried eggs. Yeah. Which I can tell you I have not listened to since it came out.
Matthew Amster-Burton 1:48
I did at one point, I think because I was using as an as an example for a podcasting class or panel or something on what not to do. Oh, so but I certainly haven't listened to it recently at a very scared.
I think that it was producer Abby's idea was it that we that we do like a running commentary of our first episode? for this episode,
Matthew Amster-Burton 2:12
right. So like, sort of Mystery Science Theater style. We've never done this before. And I don't know. theater was Mystery Science Theater is a TV show where like some people and some robots watch a bad movie and talk over it and make jokes. Oh, are we able to talk over our show? We are but I think probably we should pause it because I think actually like talking over our own voices would be even worse than just replaying the original Friday episode.
Okay, so Matthew, let's make some predictions. What do you think we're gonna notice? Okay, I
Matthew Amster-Burton 2:42
think we're gonna sound subdued.
I think we're gonna sound like we're trying to be Ira Glass.
Matthew Amster-Burton 2:49
Unknown Speaker 2:50
I think we're gonna sound like
Matthew Amster-Burton 2:52
I think we're gonna sound pretty much just as good as Ira Glass.
And then we've gone downhill since then. Right? I
Matthew Amster-Burton 2:58
think the I think the show will be in five acts. And not like not like,
Matthew. So I think that we're gonna sound subdued. I think that we're gonna sound I think that we're gonna laugh a lot less. I think we're going to be reticent to laugh.
Matthew Amster-Burton 3:14
Maybe I you know what, here's our prediction. I think there's going to be a point in this episode, where we both laugh at something. And our current selves are like, what are we laughing at? I don't even hear what the joke was.
Matthew Amster-Burton 3:25
I think also that because because the standards of comedy have changed so much since then, like now, you know, it's it's not funny anymore to tell to tell bisaya mystic jokes somehow and we're all very disappointed about
this. Are we? Okay, man, I'll let you walk this way. Anyway, is there anything that you feel like we're going to discover about about fried eggs that we might have, like forgotten or forgotten that we said, Oh, that's
Matthew Amster-Burton 3:57
it? Well, okay. So I remember that. We talked about snowy white bottom,
we referred to them as snowy white. That's going to happen because you said that you liked a snowy white bottom on a Friday egg. Yes. And
Matthew Amster-Burton 4:08
you know what we I mean, I don't want to I don't want to react to that until it happens.
I okay. I'll react to it when it happens. But I have a thought already
Unknown Speaker 4:18
about that. That that, that you do
we even call that a bit where we have been doing bits?
Matthew Amster-Burton 4:24
I don't know. What were our bits like back then.
Oh, my bits hadn't had a child come out of them.
Matthew Amster-Burton 4:30
Yeah, that's your in my. I don't know. I don't know what to say about my bits.
Okay, so should we listen?
Matthew Amster-Burton 4:37
Yeah, we should listen. Are you ready?
Unknown Speaker 4:38
I don't know. I
think this is gonna be even worse than I'm expecting.
Matthew Amster-Burton 4:41
Unknown Speaker 4:42
Okay, go on.
Matthew Amster-Burton 4:49
Okay, first, I seems like we should we should have started already, right. That is rolling way too long. Yeah. What
are we waiting for?
Matthew Amster-Burton 4:57
I'm Molly. And I'm Matthew.
And this is Milk, the show where we cook something delicious eat it all and you can't have any
Matthew Amster-Burton 5:05
today's show is about fried eggs
Unknown Speaker 5:08
about this topic
Matthew Amster-Burton 5:09
it's no you're not you I'm really psyched about it. You said it sounds like I'm holding a gun to your head like Bali. Why don't you come to a podcast with me whether you like it or not,
you know what it also sounds like it sounds like I'm trying not to move my lips very much. Like we're I don't know, is there something wrong with my mouth?
Matthew Amster-Burton 5:26
I think maybe for this episode, we thought it was gonna be a ventriloquist podcast. We are each holding a dummy and but we don't know how to do ventriloquism like, I'm Matthew
Do you know how to do ventriloquism? Have you tried it?
I don't. But you know, what if I told you about this woman in Oklahoma, who I always think of I remember having an interaction with her at a party when I was like a teenager and she was a grown up. My mother will know exactly. Oh,
Matthew Amster-Burton 5:55
God, I can't wait. I enjoy you're just going she
smiled through the entire interaction as so much so that it seemed like she was talking through her teeth. Okay, and I remember she was talking about her husband's Gucci loafers. I know of all things right. And anyway, so for years now I have privately with my mother also sort of like imitated this woman. I'm gonna hear it. I'm gonna change her husband's name to Jasmine. Oh my gosh, Joe and I just got back from Hawaii. He got some new Gucci loafers. They're
Unknown Speaker 6:32
great. Anyway, Hawaii known as a good place to go.
Remember why she was talking about a trip to Hawaii and the Gucci loafers but her like I don't know if her jaw was wired shut. I don't think it
Matthew Amster-Burton 6:42
was I think she's smiling so much. Maybe maybe she'd gone like some sort of early Botox
maybe thing it may be working out the kinks.
Matthew Amster-Burton 6:52
facelift like a recent face. I don't know what a facelift is really.
Anyway. It's it sounds like I was trying to talk like her. I remember it all these years. laters maybe I'm secretly jealous.
Matthew Amster-Burton 7:04
I just had a horrifying code
Unknown Speaker 7:06
by the way. Jolly Hawk like her for years.
Matthew Amster-Burton 7:08
Molly did a bunch of research for this episode. And I'm not totally sure why it's I think mostly we're just gonna be making fun of our old episode.
I had written down that I was supposed to do research so I did research. No, I
Matthew Amster-Burton 7:19
really I really appreciate the the lengths that you went to. They were long I just I just had a terrible thought which is what if some people listening to this hear our old episode and think boy, like I wish things could still be like that, like, the show was so much better back then.
Unknown Speaker 7:38
We're taking Okay, I
think we can make another prediction. I think we're gonna find we don't talk over each other as much.
Matthew Amster-Burton 7:43
Oh, that we used to talk over each other not as much because because we would just like wait patiently for someone to finish.
I think we were polite.
Matthew Amster-Burton 7:51
I think probably we were before we became shock jocks.
Okay, hit play again.
Matthew Amster-Burton 7:56
Yeah, we're I mean, we're 19 seconds into the episode. By the way the episodes 13 minutes long. I think we're going to try and do the whole thing. So at the current rate, I think we will finish by next week.
Okay, go on. Is it weird to be psyched about Friday?
Matthew Amster-Burton 8:08
Yeah, probably a little bit. But you know, I have to admit I am too. I love a good Friday.
No, you're not. You know, the thing is, if you really love the flavor of eggs, and if you've got a great egg that you're excited about. It's really the best way to showcase everything that's great about eggs.
Talking about Do you agree? To think about that? I think I thought that we were doing a Food
Unknown Speaker 8:34
Matthew Amster-Burton 8:35
I think I think because it was the fried egg episode. We had to be unnaturally enthusiastic about fried eggs and yet also it sounds like we're on all of it. Don't worry about everything if you want to showcase it fry in hilarious jokes.
is going to be our new motto. I think but you know, I don't know particularly eggs.
Matthew Amster-Burton 8:59
Yes, but what makes something what makes an egg great. I do have to say we have stuck with the same motto since episode one.
That's pretty impressive.
Matthew Amster-Burton 9:07
It's very impressive because why?
Well, you know I think about the eggs that I've been getting at the farmers market lately. Those yolks are so rich and so orange. flavor is incredible.
Matthew Amster-Burton 9:21
I know when you put them in so
when you're doing a bad Lynne rossetto Kasper Yeah,
Matthew Amster-Burton 9:26
exactly. And who am I trying to be? You do I still sound that nasal.
Play it again.
Matthew Amster-Burton 9:35
I'll tell you to fry them the yoke kind of sits up in the middle of the pan like hello I'm the yoke Oh no. I get I get my alright cancelled. We were cancelled. could not have done it. Um
No, don't sound that nasal anymore. I think your voice has changed or maybe it's just that you've relaxed
Matthew Amster-Burton 9:53
you know me I went through I went through the cast puberty yet podcast. We've talked about this before. Haven't had I went through I went through puberty to like the mitski album. You can hear there's an enormous amount of background noise in this episode, because we had like a cheap microphone and we could only afford one microphone and so we were we were sit we put it in between us. And we were we were each like two feet away from the microphone and sort of talking near it. I
Matthew Amster-Burton 10:22
from Sweden. And and when you serve them up, they they look exactly like the moons over my hammy picture from the Denny's menu but tastes much better than that.
Delicious, you know, and the other thing is that fried eggs are good on everything.
Matthew Amster-Burton 10:38
Wait, they taste better than what they taste better than the moons over my hammy picture, or they taste better than moons over my hammy because nothing tastes better than moons over my hammy. What are what am I talking about?
I don't know. hit play.
Matthew Amster-Burton 10:48
That's true. I'm wearing one right now. They're also good on food.
They are they're delicious on food. I am. I've been breathing a lot of things lately since it's winter. And you know, we got to occupy all of these hours of darkness here in Seattle.
Matthew Amster-Burton 11:03
Coincidentally, 10 years later, it's winter again. What have you been braising lately? Oh, Molly is defeated. Already.
We're not. My voice is is terrible.
Matthew Amster-Burton 11:16
Yeah, we have like 11 and a half. And we have to do the whole thing because we're in podcast jail. We're in podcast. Hell, let's
just keep it going braising a lot. And I really love a fried egg on braised cabbage or braised and dive or brussel sprouts.
Matthew Amster-Burton 11:33
Me too. I read a study once that the average person thinks about braising 100 times a day. I definitely do. That sounds wonderful. And I'm going to take that in the in the same direction. Some Southern style braised greens and stewed greens, mustard greens, collard greens, cook them for a long time. Serve them up, put some ham in there. Or some bacon put a fried egg on top and the yolk will melt right into the potluck. awesomely thick, anxious sauce. I don't make that I never make that. I don't think I made that. Even that I think I was trying to be fancy. Really? Yeah. Oh my god. That's amazing. Sounds good. But I don't know if I ever really made it. No,
I'm just realizing that that my cooking has changed a lot like I don't like I love this brace and I've recipe from all about braising, which we've talked about for
Matthew Amster-Burton 12:20
certain million. I think we talked about it on episode two, the braising episode, which we're going to be doing commentary on next week, because for the next 420 episodes.
Just kidding. It's a remake. Anyway, but I you know, now not only am I feeding a child, but I have a partner who has a very different palate than mine. And so I never do things like braised and I've actually braised cabbage I did recently went over really well. I love brussel sprouts always go over really well. But now I want to do that. And I'd like just for myself.
Matthew Amster-Burton 12:55
I want to make that thing that I lied and said I made
it sounds great. good use of anxious. Yes. You know, speaking of things that you cook for a long time and sort of braise and stew. One thing I want to be sure to mention is Ratatouille. a fried egg on top of Ratatouille is a thing of beauty.
Matthew Amster-Burton 13:10
Have you made that recently? No. Have you ever made that? Yeah, okay.
Um, in fact, like both of my parents loved making Ratatouille when I was a kid, like, they had different ways of doing it. And anyway, so as a kid I eat a lot of Ratatouille with a fried egg on top. My kid would not eat Ratatouille like ever. Yeah, it's got bell peppers in it's got eggplant in it. My spouse also wouldn't eat it probably it's got zucchini. My spouse doesn't really like zucchini. I am fine with Ratatouille. But it's not it's not one of my favorite things. But maybe if you if you fried an egg and put it on there, I would eat it. Great.
Unknown Speaker 13:45
I'm glad we got to the bottom of this. Have you
Matthew Amster-Burton 13:47
noticed how much how much lip clicking there is this old episode like this is something that producer Abbey takes out now but we did not have producer Abby back then I edited the episodes and I was not good at it. Let me hear the DVD get all like moving right along. Hey, moving right along. Okay,
so do I say that now? Yeah. It's like a tick. I don't know. It's great.
Matthew Amster-Burton 14:11
Like it goes back to episode one.
I had no idea. I still had no idea that I even say it. No,
Matthew Amster-Burton 14:16
it's like I feel like all of a sudden I feel like we are like archaeologists isn't that Didn't you like major in archaeology or something? anthropology
Matthew Amster-Burton 14:24
Get this this European crap. I have a deep inbox. It's the Korean rice bowl dish. You got a bowl of rice, some wonderful, pickled and spicy and otherwise delicious Lee prepared vegetables and two marinated beef and a fried egg right in the middle of the bowl and you stir everything together and eat it with a spoon. It's brilliant.
I want some right now.
Matthew Amster-Burton 14:43
Me too. We did a bourbon Bob episode. I don't know. I
didn't hear any lip clicking No,
Matthew Amster-Burton 14:47
no, you're right. As soon as I pointed out you stopped doing it. Okay. All right going. Another thing you can do. If you ever had a fried egg on a burger, no sounds it sounds like it would be completely okay. It is completely over the top but it's wonderful. You don't need Any other kind of sauce on there? It's beautiful.
would you would you do it on a cheeseburger? Do you think that you know that it would be great because I'm a cheeseburger kind of person?
Matthew Amster-Burton 15:07
I'm a cheeseburger kind of person. Right? Yeah, I think we've we've uncovered
Abby edits those out. Yes. Oh, wow. I didn't even know they were missing.
Matthew Amster-Burton 15:16
Yeah, they've gone missing. We're looking for them everywhere. Somewhere somewhere in my dining room, which is now your dining room. Clicking lip clicks would be wonderful. Okay, good.
You can hear so much like so many like tissue tissues smacking.
Matthew Amster-Burton 15:38
tissues are on display. Audio audio clay is
fried eggs are great on salad. We don't only have to put them on hot things. You know, that's true. So I was thinking actually never do that salad like Leona's? Absolutely. I
Matthew Amster-Burton 15:52
mean, it's usually a poached egg, right? Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 15:55
never do this.
Matthew Amster-Burton 15:57
I know. Yeah. This is something that I would that I will eat with gusto if it's served at a restaurant but I'm not making it at home. No gusto
um, which is a really mustard even regret free say. And usually ham or bacon. You can throw a fried egg on top and and the egg yolk would be fantastic. Doesn't that usually have a poached egg?
Matthew Amster-Burton 16:20
stag but Oh,
Matthew Amster-Burton 16:25
I'm still that guy, but I hate that guy.
Okay, go on. Go on. I like to do it at home with a Friday
Matthew Amster-Burton 16:30
meet me to actually because I'm kind of scared of poaching eggs. Maybe that'll be another episode. Okay. Oh, spoiler alert. It was over. Yep. My fear of poaching. Poorly timed Stinger sounds great. Is there anything that wouldn't be
Unknown Speaker 16:46
putting on top? Oh, for sure. I
mean, really, it's sad, but there are things and the first one I'm thinking of is pancakes. Yes. This is like a weird this weird like stunt portion of the show. We were talking about stuff like this anymore. Like what
Matthew Amster-Burton 17:00
wouldn't you do with a Friday? Well, you know we also never do anymore which I think may be coming up and I'm just now remembering is remember how we used to have a cooking segment and every episode Okay, that part? We're not going to cut that would break our contract with the listener. We said we were going to torture everyone but this entire episode and goddamnit we will
come Alright, eggs should be anywhere near anything sweet.
Matthew Amster-Burton 17:24
That's true. I guess I'll admit that's kind of gross. But people are doing it all over America. I know and it's it's it's a tragedy people you're on notice. Oh my god, you're still doing that on steak. You see that done? I like the way the yolk pools around the edge of the steak and mixes with the steak juices. That's just too rich for me. Yeah, and I like red. Yeah, that's
Matthew Amster-Burton 17:43
I think I still feel that way.
But would you like refuse it if it were handed to you?
Matthew Amster-Burton 17:49
Yes. If someone on the street I was walking down the street and someone came up to me and handed me a steak with a with an egg with a broken yolk like oozing over it. I would say what is happening like am I on Am I getting punked
Okay, just to answer the question,
Matthew Amster-Burton 18:03
would I refuse it? No. But but that sort of
I can't believe you even brought that up. I would totally eat the I don't even know what I'm talking. Is
Matthew Amster-Burton 18:11
this a thing people do?
I think so. I think it's like it don't they do it at Denny's don't they offer it like
Matthew Amster-Burton 18:18
like a steak with a fried egg on top? I'm maybe we're gonna
god I'm gonna be talking about it later. It's part of the research. I
Matthew Amster-Burton 18:24
do. Okay, great. Okay,
Unknown Speaker 18:25
another thing I'm thinking would be really bad with a fried egg is a slice of cake.
Matthew Amster-Burton 18:31
I think that's an atrocity. Yeah.
What was the Sigma?
Matthew Amster-Burton 18:34
Spaghetti marinara with a fried egg on top. You know, anything that might not work?
Oh, sign me up. I
Matthew Amster-Burton 18:39
would do that. Yeah, that sounds like it probably would be good.
I think I was about to say that. I've actually done it. I tried frying an egg in a skillet of marinara sauce. I had some leftover marinara and thought I'd make an easy dinner. And it just wasn't right the marinara has all this you know, bite and acidity to it from the tomatoes and it just sort of covers up the yoke. Sound like I was being euthanized. But I sound so
Unknown Speaker 19:07
subdued. Yeah. So control.
Matthew Amster-Burton 19:11
I wonder what was the point at which we became the show and the people that we now are? You should write a book about that. You're good at like self interrogation.
Yeah, this sounds fascinating. I can't wait to get started
Matthew Amster-Burton 19:23
fixed pods. I have a bad idea. I'm not gonna beer with a fried egg dropped. bartenders are calling it the Dunker.
I am feeling queasy.
Matthew Amster-Burton 19:33
Ready, buddy? That sounds like a great time to get in the kitchen and make some lunch. Fantastic. How about some kimchi fried rice? I've got some homemade kimchi. some leftover rice will fry it up with some bacon and put a couple of fried eggs on top. What do you think?
What is not to love? Our s do it.
Matthew Amster-Burton 19:48
Let's do it. Oh my god. So I still stand behind kimchi fried rice. Obviously we're gonna make it again today but we're not going to do a cooking segment. I'm stalling as long as possible because I'm terrified. What this cooking segment is gonna sound like I think it's gonna be all sizzling. Maybe your thoughts you.
This is making me very tired.
Matthew Amster-Burton 20:08
Well, it's okay, we're not halfway done.
Matthew Amster-Burton 20:15
This episode is brought to you by Grove.
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Matthew Amster-Burton 20:23
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Matthew Amster-Burton 21:02
I love my Grove hand soap dispenser. I use it at the kitchen sink every single day.
Yep. So for a limited time when our listeners go to grove.co slash spilled milk, they get this free three piece laundry set with a reusable glass bottle so they can start reducing their plastic waste. And by that I mean you
Matthew Amster-Burton 21:22
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go to grove.co slash spilled milk for this exclusive offer. So we are using today. Oh my god, even worse than I expected. Okay. So PETA farms here in Washington states. I think she'll see that mostly grows are mostly racist goats
Unknown Speaker 21:48
thrill lasered goat eggs.
Good eggs, I think very difficult to fry.
Matthew Amster-Burton 21:57
I believe I believe that biological term for a goat egg is a zygote?
Yes. Yes. That's a fertilized goat egg.
Matthew Amster-Burton 22:04
Yeah, you're right. That's different. That's
Matthew Amster-Burton 22:06
It sounds like I might be like we might be cracking eggs or maybe just like sort of bumping into things and slapping each other.
Perhaps? I don't know. Like early stage blastula.
Matthew Amster-Burton 22:22
Oh, man. This is gonna be a blast.
Matthew. Anyway, but quill Sita also grows grapes or raises chickens. And good egg. I don't even remember by having access
Matthew Amster-Burton 22:37
to such good eggs these days. You don't remember some eggs? The buying some eggs that you bought 10 years ago?
No, but I don't even remember the name of I don't remember this farm at all. I wonder if it still exists?
Matthew Amster-Burton 22:47
I don't know. I
mean, bad. We
Matthew Amster-Burton 22:49
you think we put them out of business?
We really I mean, this cooking segment sounds so bad. I'm pretty sure everybody was like, we're gonna blame it on the eggs. Yeah,
Matthew Amster-Burton 22:58
that's probably true. Now with all the crackling noises. It's probably just yeah. Although for some reason at at our farmers market, everybody ran out of eggs like three weeks ago. And Haven't they haven't had any sense?
Well, I was just asking somebody about that the other day actually, why it is not only to get eggs at the farmers market in the winter, but there's so much more expensive. I don't know if you've noticed that.
Matthew Amster-Burton 23:19
It sort of sounds like we're on fire. Like just a raging inferno. We're weird. That job in the cartoon says like, this is fine. Like, we're just gonna keep broadcasting. And I
just want to clarify that when you say we're on fire, you mean actually and not? Not like metaphorically like that we're coming up with all kinds of zingers.
Matthew Amster-Burton 23:40
No, but like, the further we get into this, the more I'm like hearing myself. It's still sounding the same as me from 10 years ago, and I don't like it.
Really? Yeah. Okay, go on. Apparently, chickens lay fewer eggs in the winter. And so just you know, there's less supply.
Matthew Amster-Burton 23:58
Can we like whip them or something?
Maybe we could
Unknown Speaker 24:02
like we should try it. Okay.
I'll call up the guy cosida after he started whipping his chickens.
Matthew Amster-Burton 24:08
Yeah, I mean, you should call him up and see if his farm still in business. Because I think I think the whole like happy farm animals thing is over right? Yeah.
I just went along with all your jokes, then.
Matthew Amster-Burton 24:23
I was gonna put all four in there.
I remember this part.
Matthew Amster-Burton 24:27
Oh, no, because that way the whites don't have a chance to spread way all over the place.
I guess my theory is like four eggs all at once. And you were saying the Whitestone have a chance to spread spread into each other.
Matthew Amster-Burton 24:42
But I think the idea was that I mean, like you don't want to use a pan that's too big for the number of eggs you're cooking because the whites can spread too much because there isn't anything to
I don't see there being any problem with whites spreading you what you want. You want a thick white.
Matthew Amster-Burton 24:56
Yeah, I guess I want a thick white. Yeah,
I guess What do you do with the freshness of your egg?
Matthew Amster-Burton 25:01
Yeah, you're right. I don't know. I've learned nothing in 10 years. That's what we've learned.
I do remember though, that you cracked all four eggs into one skillet and that I like actively don't like doing that because I want the egg when it's on the plate to have like that irregular shape that it took in
Unknown Speaker 25:19
this weird like, straight edge from being cut off from the other egg that it was fused to. So you like spread spread whites, and I like contained white. Yes. Okay. Near the frying pan, which
Matthew Amster-Burton 25:33
is kind of the way if they're not gonna make that much noise the way I do it. What's not gonna make that much noise? Hey,
Matthew Amster-Burton 25:41
Let's pretend this I was wrong. They make that much noise. frying noise. It's a Friday. Okay.
So we've just been sitting here. Oh, thank god fried rice for the fried egg on top. And it was totally Fantastic. Well, thank you. And I was noticing that when you were frying your eggs that you cooked them pretty gently so that the they still had kind of a snowy white bottom as opposed to brown bottom.
Matthew Amster-Burton 26:09
There it is.
I remember I thought this part of the episode was so funny. And like so, so risky. Yeah. So bold. Yeah, that we were that we were making. I was thought that we're just pants ribald I have no idea.
Matthew Amster-Burton 26:24
I don't know. I don't know. listeners, please tell us. Yeah, I'm basing my pronunciation I realized on there was a Saturday Night Live bit in the 90s called tales of rebel DRI that I think was hosted by Mike Myers.
Oh, well, you may be right.
Matthew Amster-Burton 26:40
Even if it is rebel DRI, and I'm not even sure of that. That doesn't mean it's rebelde. The more I say the dumber it sounds.
I remember thinking that this joke was really not like risque. But I remember thinking, like when we launched this episode, and when we launched the podcast, I remember thinking, Oh my gosh, people are totally gonna see my real sense of humor cu, is they're gonna see my snowy white bottom, which is much more juvenile and stupid and dirty, then, then you might write
Matthew Amster-Burton 27:17
my writing is. And so I just remember thinking that like this quote, unquote, joke about the snowy white bottom was indicative of my like, dirty sense of humor. That's true.
Matthew Amster-Burton 27:30
Yeah, no, and ironically, I didn't I didn't actually see your snowy white bottom until years later. Sorry. There's nothing funny about those terms. Well, I mean, the reason I do that way is because one day I googled snowy white bottom on Google Images and just I like to I came up. No, the the the even more embarrassing true reason is that one time I read a food writer, and I don't even remember who it was, who was very strident about a fried egg must always be perfectly white on the bottom. And that's the only true fried egg. And I don't really believe that, but at the same time, I somehow kind of internalized it and made the snowy white bottom, my bottom of choice. I don't feel this way anymore at all.
I wonder as I'm listening to this, I wonder was the writer john Thorne
Matthew Amster-Burton 28:13
I think it was not. Okay, so I think it was
because this sounds like like a like a john Thorne assertion. So
Matthew Amster-Burton 28:21
I think it may have been in a john Thorne piece talking about a different writer and john Thorne disagreed because I don't think john Thorne feels that way about eggs about eggs. Okay,
so you don't feel this way anymore?
Matthew Amster-Burton 28:34
No, I mean, I still depending on the context, like it's still like a snowy white bottom, but I will now I think more often, like crank up the heat and get some get some color and some crispness.
Do you Did you like this? No, you I bought him because of the texture or the flavor or like the absence of something that is in crispy eggs.
Matthew Amster-Burton 28:53
The texture I think the way the way like the whole egg kind of like can be easily teased apart.
Yes, that's true with with a Who cares? Yeah, I really don't give anything.
Matthew Amster-Burton 29:04
Yeah, they don't you don't give a fig.
Unknown Speaker 29:07
Matthew Amster-Burton 29:10
That's how edgy we've gotten. We're willing to say things like don't give a fig.
Bottoms aside, was it john Thorne, who by any chance?
Matthew Amster-Burton 29:20
It might have been
by john Thorn about toast and it's made it so that I can never enjoy toast again.
Matthew Amster-Burton 29:27
And then we did a toast episode we talked a lot about oh my god, Matthew,
I am truly I'm the same person on the inside.
Matthew Amster-Burton 29:34
We've gotten nowhere.
Other things about my life have changed. But on the inside, I'm still thinking of that toast article by john Thorne.
Matthew Amster-Burton 29:43
What have we actually accomplished? Nothing Nothing.
Because I'm always analyzing and going with john Thorne. Think this toast was good enough. It's very it john Thorne, man,
Matthew Amster-Burton 29:53
whatever whatever it is that he said about toast. Don't tell me because I don't I don't want toast to be ruined for me. There.
Well I have to say I like my fried eggs with a frizzle Brown you know sort of Lacy edge to them. But I kind of think that it's maybe because that's just sort of the way I learned to cook them. I kind of agree with you i like them both ways.
Matthew Amster-Burton 30:13
Yeah, let's Google up lazy edge and see what happens. Let's do a nice one. The problem I have when I make fried eggs is I get nervous that the white just around the base of the yolk might not be all the way cook me to wait me today. We've got a couple of special guests on the show tried three times times, and we're sitting in the studio, which now belongs to Molly but which Molly
is so confused and I love
Matthew Amster-Burton 30:49
it. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know which one I am anymore.
Wait, wait, wait,
Matthew Amster-Burton 30:54
wait, wait. Okay, wait, what was that even reacting to? Oh yes. I'm still afraid that the look it's so hard the fried eggs to find the bounce you want the white to be fully cooked? Nobody likes it with somebody likes already white but it's not us.
Okay, well you know, I'm probably about to say this on the old episode but I have two thoughts in relationship to this number one do you usually go over easy or sunny side up? I
Matthew Amster-Burton 31:15
usually go sunny side up but I definitely don't mind and over easy. I'm afraid of breaking the yoke when I go over.
I go over easy pretty much every time because I have such an aversion to runny white. Yeah. And going over easy really helps with that. Yeah, fish. Other thing is and my mother always does and
Matthew Amster-Burton 31:33
going over easy as a sex position.
Right as it is. today. I tell you that ash and I have this. Okay, this episode needs to be marked not safe for jen sfj. Yes. Ash and I have a like a lesbian sex book. Okay. That is it's, I mean, I think it's basically like porn for straight men. It's got like a lot of pictures. Okay, very attractive women.
Matthew Amster-Burton 31:57
I don't, I don't think men are gonna buy a book. Oh, frankly,
you're right. But anyway, it has like 50 different like sex positions, many of which are just slight variations on the other.
Matthew Amster-Burton 32:11
Some of them like impossible.
Some of them are straight up impossible. And one of them, I'll let you imagine is called my favorite handbag. Oh, no, it's and I joke about it all the time.
Unknown Speaker 32:23
I mean, anyway, I don't
Matthew Amster-Burton 32:24
want to like oh, no, like in like in the yuck someone's young. Sorry.
No, it's it's cool if you're into the act, right, whatever. But yeah, anyway, but overeasy I think was is probably the name of a position in this book. Because they're all like catchy names like I think there's even one cart like peach Melba or something like that. And yeah,
Matthew Amster-Burton 32:45
what are what other dessert names would work like? Bananas Foster?
river? was it was it like a banana episode where we made Bananas Foster and it was delicious. And then I never I made it once again and then forgotten went back to not ever thinking about Bananas Foster until now.
Okay, anyway, let's let's
Matthew Amster-Burton 33:12
wait. Okay, go ahead.
Is that my mother's way of making sure that the white watch making sure that the whites are cooked? Okay. Can this episode also be marked not saved for Molly's mom and SF?
Matthew Amster-Burton 33:28
Okay. Um, my mom's way of making sure that the whites are properly cooked is to put a few drops of water in the pan and then quickly put a lid over it so you kind of steam the top of
Matthew Amster-Burton 33:42
the egg I always cook my fried eggs lid on but I don't necessarily put the water in because there's a there's usually like enough water in the egg white.
That's to get the job done like mouth clicking it up now.
Matthew Amster-Burton 33:53
It's fine. Abby's gonna take a while out.
But anyway, you always cook your fried eggs lid on pretty much Yeah, never think to do that. Is your lid glass is I do have a glass lid but
Matthew Amster-Burton 34:06
it's not. No. Okay.
The answer is no. I was wondering if you felt more inclined to do it because you had a glass lid and you could see the cooking process. And like know how they were doing because I know I can just sort of feel it. That's how I feel about cooking about blanching green beans. Yeah, like I can just feel it like I don't need to like you know, taste one or whatever
Matthew Amster-Burton 34:28
Do you think do you think like the Instant Pot has improved your your sense of when something is done?
is totally disoriented me. Anyway, Okay, back to the episode. Okay.
Matthew Amster-Burton 34:38
I just realized something. Wait, when we do when we do this again in 10 years from now? Are we going to be listening back to this episode that we're taping now and doing commentary on that
it's the Russian doll of a podcast I
Matthew Amster-Burton 34:51
can see into our future and we're gonna look back on we're gonna listen to that Bananas Foster Joe can be like that wasn't funny. Yeah, true. And runny yolk is a beautiful thing. But runny White is really snotty and disgusting and can totally ruin dinner. What do you do to make sure that the white is always before you serve the sunny side up back?
I kind of poke around on the egg with my finger. Now this is not I do this method,
Matthew Amster-Burton 35:17
I do that,
Unknown Speaker 35:18
Matthew Amster-Burton 35:22
Is there is there a chapter in that book called poke around on the egg with my finger? Really, you have to get in there for that.
It's not the egg as hot as you would think. So I've never burned myself doing it. I've never done this finger, my middle finger and it looks like it's about done to me when the white looks opaque and the yolk still looks you know, bright and runny. I just touch around the yolk with my finger just to make sure that there's not a lot of jiggling under my finger. I do not do this. I think where do I even get the idea? If I've done it? I've done it maybe once
Matthew Amster-Burton 35:57
maybe it was in a john Thorne book. I
haven't done it for like 10 years if I've ever done it. Why do you laugh when I say jiggle?
Unknown Speaker 36:04
Is your mind? No reason. Anyway,
I make sure that there's not a lot of jiggling or that it doesn't feel too slippery or gelatinous under my finger.
Matthew Amster-Burton 36:13
Okay, well let me ask you a follow up question. If you touch it, and it is still jiggly and gelatinous. Isn't that really gross and doesn't even make you want to like, get a new finger? Oh, you've made that just so many
times. That you know, if there was like a top 10 List of like nasty stuff. I think that
Matthew Amster-Burton 36:31
okay, top 10 List of nasty stuff. Go number one.
Other people's dogs poop.
Matthew Amster-Burton 36:37
Yep. Number two, any dogs poop? Number three
other people's children's poop.
Matthew Amster-Burton 36:42
Yeah. Number four, when a kid has a runny nose and it's like, into into like, like various different fluids like sort of setting up like a custard on their face. Yeah. Number Number Five running. Top Five is good enough.
We didn't even get the top five. We did the top five to 10.
Matthew Amster-Burton 37:06
Okay, well just use your imagination. I thought we were starting at one. A white would definitely be I don't know
at least number two.
Matthew Amster-Burton 37:15
Yeah. And it's also terrible name for a rapper anyway. Yeah, yeah. I still say that have to admit a couple of weeks ago, I accidentally serve Laurie my wife a fried egg that had a little snotty strand of runny white. And that's that's why for the show, Laurie? Is her name now. Anyone following along? so embarrassed when she held this up on her fork and monitoring way? What shame? Wow. By the way, I still remember that.
Unknown Speaker 37:41
You do? Absolutely.
Oh my gosh. I think I have served to myself and my loved ones plenty of eggs that were that had a little bit of runny weight and that that we all got over. Not me. Well, how do you how do you make sure that your whites not going to be running?
Matthew Amster-Burton 37:59
Well I sort of use a spatula the same way you use your finger and kind of pull pull at the edge of the of the yolk without breaking the yolk of course but pull the pull the white back a little bit until it doesn't kind of move around so much and I can tell that it's cooked pause times I
Okay, hold on. So you don't like to do your eggs over easy because you're afraid of breaking the yoke. Now what you're talking about doing with a spatula
Matthew Amster-Burton 38:21
are more likely to break the yoke.
Matthew Amster-Burton 38:24
Oh yeah. But that's because I live on the edge. If there's one thing we've learned since from between this episode, episode one and now it's that I'm a dangerous man.
Right? That should just keep playing it.
Matthew Amster-Burton 38:35
I decided to go over easy at the last second and just clip the eggs for five seconds and make sure that it's cooked that way.
Yeah, it's like taking out a little additional insurance policy.
Matthew Amster-Burton 38:46
Exactly. It is like that. I would buy that. You know what I make when I don't know what else to eat? What a fried egg sandwich. I fried egg I toast a couple of pieces of bread. I put on a little grated cheese and some hot sauce and I would I would eat that for any meal. I still do that but I'm more likely to do it with an English muffin or a hamburger bun because I like it that is round.
I never think to do that.
Matthew Amster-Burton 39:13
Oh so good.
And do you so I know some people when they make an egg sandwich or when they fry an egg for an egg sandwich. They intentionally break the yolk while they're cooking it so that the yolk kind of spreads and coats the white Okay, do you do that or do you keep your yolk intact
Matthew Amster-Burton 39:29
I keep my yoke intact but this is a little cross sometimes I will I will keep my yoke intact but I will like squeeze the sandwich over the sink a little bit so a little bit of yoke runs out
I would think you would want to squeeze it over a plate and then you know kind of mop up with the with the
Matthew Amster-Burton 39:44
brow I don't like seeing like that just a pool of just yoke on my plate.
Unknown Speaker 39:48
I love that you're so particular I know so many things. This is almost over. Thank God.
Matthew Amster-Burton 39:54
I wonder did we do outtakes back then? I don't know.
That sounds delicious. You know When I make a fried egg sandwich Well, I don't even know even if you can call it a sandwich because I make an open face. I feel like how do you keep the yolk? How do you make sure the yolk spreads out evenly between those now bread? If you get some bites that are yolk lis
Matthew Amster-Burton 40:14
I get some bites there yo close and I get some some yolk running down my finger. But it's okay. Now when you say here it says open face Do you have So you mean just like a piece of toast with a fried egg sitting on top of it?
That is what I mean?
Matthew Amster-Burton 40:27
Yeah. Do you need it? Do you eat it with a fork?
No, I would actually pick it up and eat it. However, I would keep a fork on hand to stab it and smear the yolk strategically around. Yes. Careful with my Aigoo Yes, I want I want to distributed evenly. Amen. Thank you, Molly of 10 years ago I cosign we were just babies. We were babies. Um, interesting, like the places where we talked about Hold on, actually, let's wait to sum up.
Matthew Amster-Burton 40:55
Okay. Work on hand right now in case you need to stop something I always do. I'm gonna be careful what I say from here on out. Spoiler alert. I wasn't. Well, Molly, I gotta go. I'm gonna cook up a whole bunch of fried eggs and go around and put them on everything in sight and just see what works. We we clearly wrote that thinking was a funny bit, right.
Well, in the beginning, we said that fried eggs are good on everything right made the joke about them being on you.
Matthew Amster-Burton 41:25
Yeah. Well, and now you've got me curious. I think I'm gonna go get some beer and put a fried egg in it. spilled milk the show that makes you apparently never want to cook anything. Again.
Matthew Amster-Burton 41:36
Visit us on our website at spilled milk podcast.com where you can find this week's recipe for kimchi fried rice. My Matthew Amster-Burton By the way, like all the old recipes kind of got dumped off the website and you can't find it anywhere. So sorry.
And I'm Molly weissenberg. Well, the first thing that I'm thinking of since it's winter is braces, I think we should all be sort of bracing I think we should all be
Matthew Amster-Burton 42:06
like I love that that Beach Boys classic phrase in USA. No. Anyway, although they do kind of play the hell out of it this time of year yeah.
Oh my god weed this out take this I'll take actually sounds like us now.
Matthew Amster-Burton 42:24
It kind of does. Yeah, that sounds weird. Well, yeah, that's that's like that's the part we thought we weren't gonna use and so we could sort of be ourselves. Yeah.
As opposed to, you know, smiling while we talked and talking through gritted teeth. For Dummies talking about Gucci loafers? What
Matthew Amster-Burton 42:38
if you were a ventriloquist? What would the name of your dummy be?
What's the name of the usual ventriloquist dummy?
Matthew Amster-Burton 42:44
Wait, is there is there like the usual guy you picture? Oh, Charlie McCarthy? Is that it? Like Edgar Bergen?
Creepy face. Yeah, yeah, Charlie. Yeah,
Matthew Amster-Burton 42:55
I think mine would be named Doug. Perfect. It's perfect. And I would use Doug to say like, all the things that like, like, like my dog would just be my ID talking
if I told you I think I told you about one night when I was writing the first draft of my book.
Unknown Speaker 43:15
Yeah, that'll be out in May. Which you can pre order now.
Anyway, I was telling ash that I needed to change someone's name in it, but I was trying to think of the right name for them. And like because you know when you can like really tell that a name has been changed for sure. Or like you know, if the person's real name were Steve and I changed their name to butterfly or anyway, so ash and I we were like getting into bed and we were talking about this like what I should change this person's name to butter Stan. So we decided that what I should do is just change like one letter in their name. Okay, so that's good. So then we made this huge list of what happens to different names if you change just one letter is
Matthew Amster-Burton 44:06
okay, give me one good one.
So a rocky
Matthew Amster-Burton 44:11
Unknown Speaker 44:17
but it's also Ducky from from pretty in pain, or Wahby instead of Wally.
Matthew Amster-Burton 44:24
Oh, so you see you changing both instances of a letter. Yeah. So what can we do for mine?
Unknown Speaker 44:29
think would be Mather
thought that would be pretty good. Oh my god. What are other ones? Oh, Barry became burry.
Matthew Amster-Burton 44:38
Okay. aren't too bad at
certain ones like Bob or bill became pretty funny.
Matthew Amster-Burton 44:48
I'm trying to remember what buildings Bob just became became lol. Alright, do you want to talk about any of the things that you researched here? Because because we're already like 40 minutes in
Okay, the one thing I do want to Say it's just to return to the idea of Friday on top of steak.
Matthew Amster-Burton 45:03
Oh, right. We're right.
So in Portugal and Brazil, this has served I think in a lot of like Latin American Central American and well in general I think Spanish speaking countries it served in Spain as well, Portugal, which is not Spanish speaking. I get it. Don't
Matthew Amster-Burton 45:21
that is something we've learned
Don't ask me as the kids say that.
Unknown Speaker 45:26
All right, in Portugal and Brazil don't Tick Tock me.
So basically, Portuguese speaking places a runny egg served on top of steak is called be fair Cavallo or horseriding steak, okay, and lots of other places. Mostly Spanish speaking that I saw refer to eggs atop things as writing eggs.
Matthew Amster-Burton 45:48
Yeah, that makes sense. I when I was in Venezuela many years ago, there were there was a place I went for breakfast was called donia Auto pota. And I've know I've talked about this on the show before that's my that's my catchphrase. That the thing I would always get for breakfast was was waveless I'll cut bio
Unknown Speaker 46:07
Matthew Amster-Burton 46:08
yeah. And what were they on top of? They were on top of like some some spice braised meat and and a wrap us really good
Matthew Amster-Burton 46:17
Okay, you you asked on here Is it true that made dama Yaki which is fried egg and Japanese means cooked eyeball The answer is yes. Fried eyeball gruesome but I mean it's just it's just the appearance of the egg.
Well, and I guess it fits with the fact that in many cultures fried eggs are called Bull's eyes.
Matthew Amster-Burton 46:35
Okay. I don't think I knew that.
Yeah, I saw it first listed so if you go to the Wikipedia page for Friday egg the one of the first countries where they talk about you know regional uses of fried eggs one of the first countries listed is the Czech Republic. Okay. And they're they you know their their word for a Friday prepared sunny side up as a bull's eye. And as I read down through like other regional uses of fried eggs, I saw this phrase Bullseye come up men. Okay,
Matthew Amster-Burton 47:02
that makes sense. My mom called it a bull's eye like a like a not toad in the hole. That's something else but like when you when you crack an egg into a you cut a circle out of a piece of toast, and you and you crack an egg into it and cook the egg in a blanket? Is that is that a blanket?
That's what Wikipedia called it and I was
Matthew Amster-Burton 47:20
that I call that toad in the hole. Yeah, no, I but towing a hole is like when you make one in the whole it's something in all Holland one. It's a hole in one. Congratulations, Molly on getting a hole in one. Thank you. Your first your first time out here on the link. What do you when you when
my favorite handbag?
Matthew Amster-Burton 47:37
You when your favorite Gucci handbag? I can't wait to go. Yeah. All right. Can we be done? Maybe forever?
Not forever. No, no.
Matthew Amster-Burton 47:47
We'll be back next week with with another exciting episode.
Next week is cheese plate.
Matthew Amster-Burton 47:53
It is Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Right. Right. Because this because we because we did episodes out of order because we forgot it was our 10th anniversary. I can't believe I forgot your enter our anniversary.
Is this our paper anniversary? I'm
Matthew Amster-Burton 48:03
in the doghouse now. That's one. Oh, I think 10 is aluminum. Is that is that right? I can't remember if that's a joke I was gonna make or if I looked it up, but it actually said that, but who cares? So So basically, so I got you a can.
So hold on, hold on. Hold on. So obviously you can find our show at spilled milk podcast calm, where we don't have the kimchi fried rice recipe. I mean, we did pro store so we'll repost I think maybe we do on
Matthew Amster-Burton 48:31
my blog. It's also on your blog, and we probably link to it on the kimchi episode. Okay. Also, probably as you're hearing this, our website is in some sort of severe flux.
Yeah, we're having to make some some changes. Yeah.
Matthew Amster-Burton 48:43
So you might not be able to find anything on our website. And for that, we sincerely apologize. But you
can find us on Facebook.
Matthew Amster-Burton 48:50
That was the least sincere sounding sincerely apologize. Like that was like politician level shit, right?
It's like when I said that I was really excited about doing that. Okay, so you can find us on email@example.com slash build mouth podcast
Matthew Amster-Burton 49:07
and on Instagram ads build out podcast our producer Aren't you glad we hired one is Abby circuit Ella?
And thank you for listening to spilled milk.
Matthew Amster-Burton 49:16
The show that what were the names of some of those things from the book? The overeasy the
some of them we invented?
Matthew Amster-Burton 49:25
Yeah, that's true.
The toad in the hole the guy that had to be one of them.
Matthew Amster-Burton 49:28
Oh, the toad in the hole, the show that go in like a toad into your ear hole.
Again, we're gonna we're gonna look back at that next week and be like, why do we think that was funny? I'm Matthew Amster-Burton.
Thanks for those mixed nuts. They really fixed me up.
Matthew Amster-Burton 49:55
It's this fix this fix nuts. Let's
Matthew Amster-Burton 49:59
I love that. But yeah, it's new. Wait, what book is that?
It's the sequel to the fixed stars.
Matthew Amster-Burton 50:05
Unknown Speaker 50:06
It's nuts huh?