429: Kiwi Fruit

Matthew Amster-Burton 0:03

I'm Matthew and I'm Molly and this is spilled milk The show where we cook something delicious. Eat it all and you can't have any and I just touched a chair that sitting behind me and I didn't know what I was touching and I got very nervous for a second interview that was reflected in my in my announcement. I apologize.

Molly 0:17

This is a very scary episode. Today we are talking about Kiwis or kiwi fruit for those listeners who are in Australia and New Zealand. And don't refer to Kiwi fruits as Kiwi.

Matthew Amster-Burton 0:30

Oh, so you want those people to know that we're not doing an episode about about eating people from New Zealand or birds or birds. Oh, right. The Kiwi bird the little little bird with the long beak. Yeah, I haven't thought about that bird in a while.

Molly 0:42

Well, it's probably because we don't have any of

Matthew Amster-Burton 0:45

them. That's true. We should we should import Wish we should usually guess.

Molly 0:52

The kiwi fruit is also known as the Chinese gooseberry.

Matthew Amster-Burton 0:55

Not for a very long time. I don't

Molly 0:57

I can tell you about that. Okay, okay. Well, let's do Memory Lane first.

Matthew Amster-Burton 1:01

Okay, so I definitely a kiwi sometimes as a kid, I don't think had a really strong feeling about it one way or the other. But it was one of baby irises favorite foods. Oh, really? Yeah. So we would buy them all the time. It's like, hey, it's a thing the baby will eat. And like I get good at peeling and dicing them but I haven't had one probably in 10 years.

Molly 1:22

Wow. So I think of them often showing up.

Matthew Amster-Burton 1:26

unannounced showing up

Molly 1:27

unannounced now it's like you know how if you're staying at like, like a cheap hotel or something like if you missed a flight and the airline puts you up at like a cheap

Matthew Amster-Burton 1:37

Kiwis on your pillow. And

Molly 1:38

there's like a you know, a free buffet that goes with the your room reservation like

Matthew Amster-Burton 1:45

a continental breakfast. continental

Molly 1:46

breakfast is what I'm trying to say. Not only are they going to have little Debbie's honeybun, right, as we discussed, but they usually have like a bowl of fruit. It's like under ripe bananas. Red Delicious apples.

Matthew Amster-Burton 1:58

Oh, don't get me started on unripe bananas or Red Delicious apples. Those are both bad.

Molly 2:02

They're usually oranges. Yeah. And then sometimes there's a kiwi stuck in there too. Like I think of Kiwis showing up. Yeah, I think you're right. I also think of Kiwis showing up in fruit salad

Matthew Amster-Burton 2:13


Molly 2:16

It's like one of those fruits that I don't often by June has gone through periods of being like, Oh, can we buy some Kiwis? And then I buy them and I give them to her. And she's like, why do I want this? Yeah,

Matthew Amster-Burton 2:28

well, I feel like I feel like this is might be a problematic episode. Well, because like, I don't I don't know if I like these. Okay, well, Oh, hold on. So let me do look cool. At least on the inside. They do.

Molly 2:40

Let's talk about them. Okay, so this is a berry. Right? This is an edible Berry. That comes from several edible berries comes from several species of woody vines in the genius actinidia which also sounds like an acne medication. Hi,

Matthew Amster-Burton 2:55

I'm woody vines. Yeah, it does. Sounds like an acne medication.

Molly 3:01

The most common variety, the one that we usually see that's like, about the size of like a large chicken egg fuzzy skin and

Matthew Amster-Burton 3:10

I'm holding right now.

Molly 3:12

That is a type called Hayward.

Matthew Amster-Burton 3:14

And you wrote here,

Molly 3:15

this didn't introduce yourself as a word. Hi,

Matthew Amster-Burton 3:17

I'm woody Hayward. This is my I run this golf course. That sounds like a golf course.

Unknown Speaker 3:24

It does, doesn't

Molly 3:25

it at Hayward. Or coach Hayward.

Matthew Amster-Burton 3:27

Coach Hayward. Yes. Good sound like Woody Hayward. Like I'm I like I've watched every episode of Friday Night Lights. I know so much about coaching. I would probably be a terrific football coach. I don't know the rules of football. I don't think it matters. It's all about you

Molly 3:45

just know. You need to like have like heart clear eyes. clear eyes. Yeah, clear eyes. Full hearts. You can't be sure to eat alive.

Matthew Amster-Burton 3:57

But I've even like reserved like like, yo, stop off at the bathroom before the big game. I think it's probably pretty important.

Molly 4:04

Okay, anyway, hold on.

Matthew Amster-Burton 4:05

It's like sounds like a road trip. But with more concussions.

Molly 4:08

Okay, so. So the kiwi is native to China.

Matthew Amster-Burton 4:13

Okay. Oh, so Okay, so it really is the Chinese in Chinese gooseberry wasn't just like,

Molly 4:19

it wasn't just like some sort of like xenophobia. Right, exactly. So the first recorded description of it dates back to the 12th century during the Song Dynasty, okay. It was usually collected from the wild and used medicinally it was often given to women after childbirth to like restore their vigor. I gotta say I needed to have a lot more restored than just my vigor. Anyway, eventual. So you know, initially it was collected in the wild, they did start to cultivate it in China and then cultivation spread to New Zealand in the early 1900s. And that's where it was first commercially planted.

Matthew Amster-Burton 4:57

I have a question that I don't think we're I have the answer for but now I'm curious like what of the popular fruits like available like in the US, which is the one that became a commercial product most recently? Oh, that's not counting not counting like like a particular type of apple or some shit but

Molly 5:16

there's a part of me I'm sure that this is not correct. But I remember in my lifetime

Matthew Amster-Burton 5:22

cherries were invented mangoes

Molly 5:23

starting to show up in a mainstream American grocery store Produce Section. Dad bringing home mangoes because and it feeling new and exciting, but maybe that's just because I grew up in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma.

Matthew Amster-Burton 5:39

Daddy brought home mango

Molly 5:40

and it takes a long time for things to reach.

Matthew Amster-Burton 5:44

Land. Maybe so maybe like mangoes arrived in like Seattle supermarkets on

Molly 5:49

land like the 1800s. Yeah. Anyway, so So yeah, the first commercial plantings of Kiwis were in New Zealand. However, today or at least as of a couple years ago, China was the world's largest producer growing 50% of the world total

Matthew Amster-Burton 6:05

and the ones I bought for us today were grown in California.

Molly 6:09

Well, yes. Can

Matthew Amster-Burton 6:10

I tell you a little bit about from Gridley packaging Incorporated, so dry your coach Gridley, I work with Coach Hayward at the football store.

Molly 6:20

So during World War Two, US and UK, like servicemen who were stationed in New Zealand, they encounter kiwi fruit, it was just phrasing this

Matthew Amster-Burton 6:33

all the way they were stationed in New Zealand in

Molly 6:36

New Zealand. And it was around this time so World War Two did they also hobbits

Matthew Amster-Burton 6:39


Molly 6:41

that, that the kiwi fruit began to be exported more widely, like outside of of this sort of like

Matthew Amster-Burton 6:51

yeah, definitely drawing an outline of like,

Molly 6:53

Australia and New Zealand. So anyway, first it was exported to the UK, and then later to the US through California in the 1960s. So this explains why among many reasons, it might be grown in California because it arrived on those shores.

Matthew Amster-Burton 7:13

That makes sense. If I say Australasia did that, does that refer to Australia and Asia or just like south of Asia, including Australia? There's, there's some word that incorporates like Australia, New Zealand and all of the other islands around there. Oceana, maybe it's Oceania.

Molly 7:30

Oh, she and yeah, there Yeah.

Matthew Amster-Burton 7:32

Thank you Oceania. Okay, that's I was trying to say earlier that you were you were drawing a perfect outline of Oceania with your finger. Yeah.

Molly 7:39

Okay. Anyway, can I tell you a bit more? Yes, please. Early varieties of kiwi fruit were described in a 1904 nursery catalog as having quote edible fruits the size of walnuts and the flavor of ripe gooseberries and this led to the name Chinese gooseberry

Matthew Amster-Burton 7:55

okay this episode is just gonna be all like like questions that we cannot answer on the spot but this one this one is like answer I'm pretty

Molly 8:01

confident we answered that Oceania one that's true.

Matthew Amster-Burton 8:03

Thank you. Do people in like, associate gooseberries, especially with England? I do too. Do people in England still regularly eat gooseberry flavored things?

Molly 8:15

In my brief travel experiences few and far between there are significant significantly significantly. There are far more gooseberry flavored things gooseberry jam gooseberry showing up in like pavlovas and trifle things than here because I

Matthew Amster-Burton 8:33

think like every time I've had gooseberries, they're really good. They're very sour.

Molly 8:38

You can find them at the farmers market here in summer from like, you know, just a few select grow.

Matthew Amster-Burton 8:44

But this is not the gooseberry app. No, it's not I guess we have to do this summer let's do a gooseberry episode.

Molly 8:50

So in 1962 it was New Zealand growers who started calling it the kiwi fruit for exporting their their you know for marketing their new export and the name was commercially adopted in 1974. And you know, again in New Zealand and Australia the word Kiwi is never used for the fruit it's used like only for the bird or as like a nickname for New

Matthew Amster-Burton 9:12

Zealanders so they like the name kiwi fruit was born like a year before I was adopted. Right right. Yeah.

Molly 9:20

Isn't that interesting? Yeah. So recent. It does.

Matthew Amster-Burton 9:24

That's that's a Yeah, this is I'm wondering again like about what's the what's the newest fruit?

Molly 9:30

I hope that we have I mean, we have so many interesting listeners you do fascinating

Matthew Amster-Burton 9:35

Food Science cannabis research

Molly 9:38

somebody who probably shows a kind of staff surfing Yeah. Anyway, so Okay, I'm sure that in recent years we have all seen those like Kiwi berry things.

Matthew Amster-Burton 9:48

Those at the farmers market in Seattle.

Molly 9:50

Well, so here's thing apparently there are, you know, many different types of actinidia.

Matthew Amster-Burton 9:56

Okay, like that species? Yeah.

Molly 9:58

The Kiwi berry plant tends to grow pretty easily in a wide variety of places just provided there's enough warmth. So it makes sense that we would all of a sudden have started seeing them here. I mean, there's some pretty warm parts of Washington state where I would think this stuff could grow as well as

Matthew Amster-Burton 10:16

Oh, yeah, no definitely being grown here. Are they good? Well,

Molly 10:20

I think they're kind of delicious. Oh, they are. So you know, as you've noticed, the skin is smooth. It's greenish than Brown. Right?

Matthew Amster-Burton 10:28

we've we've skipped over you put on the agenda that the skin the fuzzy skin is technically edible. It is. Did

Unknown Speaker 10:34

you not know that?

Matthew Amster-Burton 10:35

I did not know we're gonna eat some today. Oh, great.

Molly 10:37

So anyway, that Kiwi berries, which are often also called like baby Kiwis, or mini Kiwis? They're like baby sized, and they're smooth skinned. I think of them as being sweeter. Because one thing about the fuzzy skin of the Hayward even though it is edible, it's pretty sour.

Matthew Amster-Burton 10:55

I don't know. I don't think I've eaten the skin. Well, we're gonna find out.

Coach Hayward has a question. Yeah. A couple things. First of all, you mentioned something about baby Kiwis. And I'm wondering like when a baby Kiwi bird hatches does it already have like a long beak? He doesn't use that to to, like, poke its way out of the egg.

Molly 11:19

Like all the parts of an animal it probably grows, you know, in proportion to its body.

Matthew Amster-Burton 11:27

Yeah, okay. But like so no, bodies don't grow. Like, Matthew.

Molly 11:31

This is like asking, like, does a giraffe come out of its mother with its neck at its full length?

Matthew Amster-Burton 11:37

Well, does it? I mean, that would be hilarious if it did,

Molly 11:43

like fingernail material.

Matthew Amster-Burton 11:45


Molly 11:46

which is fingernail material. And so of course it's it's gonna grow.

Matthew Amster-Burton 11:51

Yes. No, I wasn't. I didn't mean to come at full size. I kind of I kind of just like the baby Kiwi have like, like a

Molly 11:59

extra long beak for it for

Matthew Amster-Burton 12:01

a baby. Yeah, I guess that's what I meant. Oh, we can look at pictures. Okay, let's look at baby Kiwi pictures later.

Molly 12:06

Okay, so Matthew here we're getting to the botany part of the show, which you're better at botany than I

Matthew Amster-Burton 12:11

don't think so.

Molly 12:12

So kiwi fruit plants are dioecious meaning that a plant is either male or female.

Matthew Amster-Burton 12:17

You know, in fact, last time we talked about this I got the I got the terms reversed and had to like make a correction. Ah, okay. dioecious

Molly 12:25

die dioecious it's

Matthew Amster-Burton 12:26

spelled with an O but the OSI Oh,

Molly 12:29

you just say dioecious. Okay, so plant is either male or female. So, you know, in most cases, there are some cases of a kiwi plant being able to pollinate itself. I don't really understand how, but most of the time you need a male and a female to make a baby Kiwi

Matthew Amster-Burton 12:44

and pretty unusual as far as plants go,

Molly 12:46

except, aren't there a lot of fruits that work that way? Um, it does eggplant

Matthew Amster-Burton 12:52

work that way. eggplant is not eggplant is money Shas. Okay. Like I think I think most like, like I think most of the common things we eat are able to self pollinate, but in some cases like we try and prevent them from self pollinating so that they don't produce genetic diversity.

Molly 13:11

Yeah, that genetic diversity kills us every time. Right? So

Matthew Amster-Burton 13:15

I think I think like dioecious this in the plant kingdom is relatively uncommon. It's so cool. Yeah, yeah.

Molly 13:23

What I really like is this. Yeah, you

Matthew Amster-Burton 13:25

know, what's really cool is the gender binary.

Unknown Speaker 13:27


Molly 13:28

Cool. Okay, what I really like is a statistic from Wikipedia for quote, unquote, a good yield of fruit. One male vine two, every three to eight females is considered adequate. Sounds.

Matthew Amster-Burton 13:41

Like this sounds. Sounds pretty good.

Molly 13:44

Yeah, I thought so.

Matthew Amster-Burton 13:46

Yeah, I'm not gonna lie. Anyway.

Molly 13:49

All right. So Matthew, what about you know what? Maybe let's cut them up. Let's cut them up in here. You talk about more stuff. Wow, these Hold on. Wait a minute. Wait. Do you know how to choose a kiwi? No, you don't know how to choose a kiwi to use to feed these things to your kids. You have kids now? Two of them? Yeah. Anyway, for listeners who are confused Matthew still only has one kid back. You're gonna use this one. So you want to Kiwi to be kind of firm. Yeah, to be kind of like a peach. You want it to be yielding. You don't

Matthew Amster-Burton 14:20

want it to be dry. Give me a little squeeze and it seemed to yield a little but no,

Molly 14:25

these other two are definitely not ripe enough. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, you can just cut so Matthew has lopped off the I was gonna I was gonna peel it with a spoon, just cut across it and we're gonna, you're gonna, you're gonna cut that slice in half. Okay, and then we're going to eat it

Matthew Amster-Burton 14:39

with the skin with the skin. I didn't wash these.

Molly 14:43

Great. Oh, my skin is really sour. Okay, I

Matthew Amster-Burton 14:46

hate the skin. But the rest is pretty good, huh?

Molly 14:50

Okay, now do you peel it? Do you mind the texture of the skin?

Matthew Amster-Burton 14:54

Yes, no,

Molly 14:54

it doesn't bother me but it's very sour. So yeah, when you would prepare these for Iris you would do it.

Matthew Amster-Burton 15:00

That you would use a spoon to remove the skin. You kind of inserted it, cut it into little chunks

Molly 15:04

and then kind of like swept it around the

Matthew Amster-Burton 15:07

edge. Sorry, satisfying.

Molly 15:08

Okay, now let's see how different they taste without the skin. Still still pretty sour,

Matthew Amster-Burton 15:15

but I'd like a tart fruit. And they do look really cool. This is pretty good.

Molly 15:19

Do you feel that there isn't an astringency to Kiwis that leaves a funny taste in your mouth? Or maybe it's just the aftertaste of a kiwi that I don't love. It's kind of weird.

Matthew Amster-Burton 15:30

There isn't a stringency to it for sure.

Molly 15:32

I learned this interesting thing about Kiwis. So raw kiwi fruit can be used as a meat tenderizer because it's got this substance in it this end enzyme called keratin. actinic Dane. Oh, but that same enzyme, the tenderizes meat makes it I

Matthew Amster-Burton 15:47

have Kojak. I'm a robot that was the old guy just things have not been going well this season. We're having this robotic coach turned out to be brought back Matt Harrison adorable kid who had no point ever looks like he could possibly play play football. Actually,

Molly 16:15

I had a long conversation about whether we felt that like whether ash was Team sericin or team Reagan's and we were both team Reagan's even though like I feel this like soft spot. So occasionally I feel a real soft spot for well, men who seem really soft and tender. Ash describes them as ash always says to me when I point out a man who seems really like tender and seems like sexy to me. She's always like, I think he would cry when you have sex. That's always what would be like, Oh, are you okay? Oh, am I hurting you?

Matthew Amster-Burton 16:47

Are you okay? Is this is this Tim Riggins we're talking about? Okay, right.

Molly 16:51

Yeah. Matt Sarason would definitely be like, Oh, am I hurting you?

Matthew Amster-Burton 16:55

Yeah. Are you okay? Yeah, I mean, wait, because it's kind of kind of kind of a Matthew Amster-Burton type.

Molly 17:05

Okay, and I can totally picture you tossing around the pigskin.

Matthew Amster-Burton 17:09

That's right. I've got a golden arm.

Molly 17:13

But have you ever had a golden Kiwi? That was gonna be my next.

Matthew Amster-Burton 17:18

Wow. I'm so glad everyone was here for that. possibly the best segue in the history of spilled milk. I have had a golden Kiwi. I don't remember it tasting any different from a green Kiwi.

Molly 17:30

I think they're better. Okay, they're sweeter.

Matthew Amster-Burton 17:32

I don't think I don't think they were an option at UFC on 15. Probably not last night. Anyway. So

Molly 17:37

can we get that one out

Matthew Amster-Burton 17:38

of late night? Kiwi run? Like You do? Yes. Continue Dane. It's a it's a enzyme enzyme.

Molly 17:44

Right? Anyway, um, so if you if Kiwi comes in contact with like dairy products that contain dairy. I mean, like desserts that contains

Matthew Amster-Burton 18:00

it comes in contact with desserts. like is this? You mean like if you use Kiwi as an ingredient, it's got like, like, dessert that

Molly 18:10

contains milk or other dairy it the enzyme digests the milk proteins, and what

Matthew Amster-Burton 18:15

happens? It doesn't work. What doesn't work? Like the desert?

Molly 18:20

I'm guessing that like if you took a dollop of whipped cream and put it on a rock we could try that like weird things would weep I think

Matthew Amster-Burton 18:38

okay, cuz I felt like for me, you were telling me that like all this time when it making desserts, I should have been more careful to keep them away from my supply of canadain or whatever the word was.

Molly 18:49

And also does this to gelatin. Right?

Matthew Amster-Burton 18:51

So this is like pineapple in your jello type

Molly 18:54

correct. activity and is also an allergy to whatever the soreness of the mouth or worse is, this one would also cause like itching and soreness after you eat pineapple.

Matthew Amster-Burton 19:08

I think we talked about this on the pineapple episode, right? I think yes. I think it's tenderizing your mouth.

Molly 19:13

So I've definitely noticed this when eating some Kiwi though. Not all I think that if I had eaten like a whole Kiwis worth of fruit

Matthew Amster-Burton 19:21

right now, I

Molly 19:22

think that my mouth would feel a bit sore.

Matthew Amster-Burton 19:24

It's funny. Like if you say like your mouth feels tender. That means it hurts. But if you say Matt sericin is tender. That's different.

Molly 19:31

I like tenderness in a man.

Matthew Amster-Burton 19:33

Oh yeah, I think it's good.

Molly 19:34

I love it. But yeah, Ash Ash loves to make fun of me. Yeah,

Matthew Amster-Burton 19:39

yeah. I mean, I mean, I it's fair. It's

Molly 19:41

Yeah, it's totally fair. I love to make fun of me.

Matthew Amster-Burton 19:44

Okay, so here is my strategy for for having a winning season. What is what is my team going to be called the coach gets to name activities my robot sidekick.

Molly 19:57

There was another coach that I don't remember. Who

Matthew Amster-Burton 20:00

was the other coach was kind of corrupt. I

Molly 20:02

feel like ah, Who was he?

Matthew Amster-Burton 20:05

Yeah, you're checking the agenda. It looks like you're poring over our the spill dug into it to see who the other Oh, you mean? Oh, it was another coach. Right. Right. Right. Right.

Molly 20:15

It was it? No, there was woody Hayward, Woody, Hayward and somebody else.

Matthew Amster-Burton 20:21

Woody vines. Oh, what do you mean, it's confusing. It's coach vines and coach Hayward because they're both named Woody. I thought you meant there was another coach on Friday Night Lights, which there also was at least sometimes not another head coach

Molly 20:36

and assistant coach, right. There were coaches who were from the opposing team.

Matthew Amster-Burton 20:41

True. So anyway, so the couple things here so the coach gets to name the team, right? does work. Pretend Yes. And so we need we need a name for our team. Okay. And if we're gonna have a winning season, I think gumption is only gonna get us so far. So I my plan is we need to steal steal plays from the other team. So like we need to break into the Arnett Meade Tigers clubhouse and steal their plays because I again, I do not know how to play football.

Molly 21:12

Arnett me that was one of the Dylan tiger. Dylan Panthers opponent. Yeah, our net meet is that hyphenated. Not sure.

Matthew Amster-Burton 21:21

Okay. Anyway, so we're gonna steal their plays. And then we're just gonna kind of pass it out to the players and be like, you you guys know what to do with these right? And then we'll win. And then we'll went in slow motion.

Molly 21:31

But wait, what's gonna be the name of your team? I thought you were naming.

Matthew Amster-Burton 21:34

So we're gonna be the New Zealand, hobbits. From Dillon, Texas.

Molly 21:44

Oh, okay. Well, anyway, I may or may not be allergic to Kiwi. I mean, are you really allergic to it? If it's just that it's like tenderizing your tissues? Is that an allergy? I mean, yeah. Activating my, like, immunes my Well, I

Matthew Amster-Burton 22:00

mean, like, cause Yeah, I don't I don't I don't think that's an allergy. But I don't know. I'm not an allergist.

Molly 22:06

You know, I got we have some listeners who are probably

Matthew Amster-Burton 22:10

listeners who are allergic to this episode.

Molly 22:12

And listeners who aren't listening anymore.

Matthew Amster-Burton 22:15

We probably have some listeners who have a golden arm and haven't been discovered yet.

Molly 22:19

Yeah. Okay. Anyway, so

Matthew Amster-Burton 22:21

you can weigh in on any and all of these things. And please do team Reagan's versus team Sarason. Team vines versus team Hayward?

Molly 22:32

Like how would your name if you were going to be a football coach? Right?

Matthew Amster-Burton 22:36

Because when you become a coach, you get

Molly 22:40

reborn? Yeah. Okay, so you can find us on facebook.com slash spilled milk podcast. You can talk to us about these things. We are here for you.

Matthew Amster-Burton 22:50

Yes, that's right. Like Operators are standing by. Yeah, you can you can order the complete DVD collection, and we'll also solve your problems. What did you already say Facebook. Okay, I spelled my podcast calm, which doesn't really kind of do anything anymore. Yeah.

Molly 23:06

Our producer is Abby sercotel

Matthew Amster-Burton 23:08

does a lot of things. She does so many things. You I mean, imagine what she cut out of this episode. Did we? Do we ever like say anything about Kiwis on this episode? I kind of

Molly 23:17

talked a lot about Kiwi right active learning on this episode, I

Matthew Amster-Burton 23:22

learned how to pronounce dioecious Yeah, I didn't know they were members of the Act. 10 id act in actinidia

Molly 23:30

actinidia. Okay, which is my medication, right?

Matthew Amster-Burton 23:33

I'll definitely remember that. I didn't know you could eat Kiwi skin. Yep. So until next time, thanks for listening to spilled milk of the show with skin that is technically edible. Levi's and Brad I coach Matthew Amster-Burton.

I am nothing but a conscious bundle of cravings. That's all that's all like human consciousness is

Molly 23:59

just like the human sack.

Matthew Amster-Burton 24:02

And water is just a bunch of cravings and water stuffed into a membrane to the point of bursting. Okay.