433: Avocados

Matthew Amster-Burton 0:00

Hi. I'm Matthew.

Molly 0:04

And I'm Molly.

Matthew Amster-Burton 0:06

And this is spilled milk, the show where we cook something delicious. Eat it all, and you can't have any.

Molly 0:10

That's right. Today, we are coming to you to talk about what I have always understood to be one of your least favorite things, Matthew, and that is avocados.

Matthew Amster-Burton 0:20

Yeah, I knew we would have to do this someday. And like, you know, we're like every podcast you listen to these days, we're recording remotely. So this way you don't know whether I ate an avocado or not. But I will tell you I did not.

Molly 0:34

I know we had recently made a new commitment to producer Abby that we were going to step up our like photo game that whenever we met to record, we were going to you know really take a good picture of whatever food we were talking about. Well, now I'm recording in my basement. Yeah, Matthew is recording alone on the other side of town. And there may or may not be an avocado near either one of us. So sorry, producer Abby, we're falling down on the job already.

Matthew Amster-Burton 1:02

Everyone now knows that this show has been a scam all along. We've never eaten anything on the show.

Molly 1:08

Yeah. Okay. All right.

Matthew Amster-Burton 1:11

where robots that can survive. We just we just plug into a USB port, and we're good.

Molly 1:16

Well, now the truth is finally coming out. Thank you. 2020 for revealing all of our darkest secrets.

Matthew Amster-Burton 1:24

Yeah, but it's cool people. People love us. They'll forgive us for being robots.

Molly 1:28

It's cool. I mean, we're very we're very cuddly robots.

Matthew Amster-Burton 1:31

You make it sound like we're sex robots. What's that show that everyone likes that? I haven't seen Westworld. Is that a sex robot show?

Molly 1:37

It is kind of a sex robot show and you know, I am in my red carpeted love dungeon. Right? That's right, which is not red carpeted anymore. Oh,

Matthew Amster-Burton 1:45

I don't understand how you could make that decision. I don't know if we're still friends.

Molly 1:49

I know. I know. Well, we we really may not be friends after we finished this episode talking about avocados because I fear that this is going to be like some intense like exposure therapy for you. Having robots

Matthew Amster-Burton 2:01

be friends with other robots? I think I think Yes,

Molly 2:05

I think so. It depends. Okay, how they how Yeah, artificial intelligence were like strong start.

Matthew Amster-Burton 2:12

If I'm yeah, artificial intelligence is the answer. I feel like maybe if I'm a sex robot, like I need like a tune up of some kind. I don't know if I like performing up to like sex robot standards. That seems like a pretty high standard.

Molly 2:23

I'm definitely not Yeah, I'm definitely not I'm gonna I'm gonna contact my maker when this is over. Yeah, okay, that sounds that sounds like I'm gonna

Matthew Amster-Burton 2:32

say you're going to die and it sent directly to have it. Okay. call tech support. Like it's gonna be a long wait. Everybody is calling sex robot tech support right about now because everybody is stuck at home with their sex robot that maybe they haven't turned it on in a while and the battery's ran down. Oh, man.

Molly 2:54

Well, hey, listener, Kate, listener, Kane, we have you for this this topic that we're discussing today, a listener suggested we talk about avocados and I don't think this is the show she had in mind. But here it is. Oh,

Matthew Amster-Burton 3:09

I don't know. I think it probably is. Okay, so memory lane. I have never liked avocados. And I was thinking about like to try and avoid making this Justin episode where one person doesn't like avocados. And that's the whole story. I was trying to figure out what it is about avocados that I don't like and like, as you know, we've talked about this before. I guess everyone knows this. Like when someone doesn't like a food. It's usually because of the texture, right? Yes.

Molly 3:33

I think that is the common wisdom about food aversions generally. Yeah.

Matthew Amster-Burton 3:37

So for me like as you know, I grew up not liking colder room temperature foods for the most part.

Molly 3:44

I'm still digesting.

Matthew Amster-Burton 3:46

digesting some things I ate back in the 80s.

Molly 3:49

Well, here's the interesting thing. So we just said that most food aversions are texture related yet it seems like some of yours are just temperature related.

Matthew Amster-Burton 3:56

They are so I think this is this avocados is one more texture and temperature come together in like a Frankenstein horror show for me because it's got a creamy texture and like a creamy dip is one of the things that I'm still most afraid of in the world. So they're eating at room temperature, and they have a creamy texture. And so it seemed like you open this fruit and there's just a creamy dip inside.

Molly 4:21

That sounds amazing.

Matthew Amster-Burton 4:23

I know. Man. Like I said this morning, I said I've never knowingly known anybody else who doesn't like avocados. But then teenager the show Iris was like, Hey, I don't like avocados. What am I chopped avocado? That's actually what they said.

Molly 4:37

Oh my gosh, teenager. The show is so clever and so full of surprises. Did you really not know that teenager, the show Iris doesn't like avocados.

Matthew Amster-Burton 4:46

I was kind of not not considering my family members in in that declaration.

Molly 4:51

Well, and I can imagine too, that if you don't like avocados, you're not exactly buying them so you don't have a chance to see if Todd c likes them or not. But

Matthew Amster-Burton 4:59

I do buy them pretty often because wife of the show Laurie loves avocados and like, schooled me on all sorts of avocado related things. When we were I was prepping for this episode.

Molly 5:09

As usual. Thank God for what Saul? We have no show without watsa

Matthew Amster-Burton 5:14

Yeah, so but recently for me like there I've found a couple of things with avocados that I like and it feels I don't even know if I myself anymore. I feel like I speaking speaking now as a robot like that maybe I've had some sort of new module installed. modules, right?

Molly 5:31

Yes. So what does this module change about you?

Matthew Amster-Burton 5:34

I want to kind of leave this as a teaser for later in the episode when we talk about like, what things we like to do or eat with avocados. Okay, okay. Because I

Molly 5:44

like to do with avocados.

Matthew Amster-Burton 5:47

I believe I'll get there.

Molly 5:50

I'll tell you what I like to do with a fruit full of creamy dip.

Matthew Amster-Burton 5:53

Yeah, that Yeah. Like tonight like to like, drive a knife into the pit and twist it out.

Molly 6:00

Now you said we were going to talk about it later. So I needed some time to think about what I like to do. Okay, cray cray. Just give me a minute later. Okay. Okay.

Matthew Amster-Burton 6:07

So how about you Memory Lane

Molly 6:08

memory lane. So I've always had a pretty good feeling about about avocados. I think that as a kid, I mostly thought of them as like the thing that gets made into guacamole. Sure. And I grew up you know, for some reason, like even though my family didn't eat much Mexican food or Tex Mex at home, I think of Tex Mex as being like a prominent part of my childhood, like eating out in restaurants experience. Oh, yeah, I

Matthew Amster-Burton 6:35

think I think it was like one of easily like one of the most popular foods to eat at a restaurant in the 80s.

Molly 6:42


Matthew Amster-Burton 6:42

I mean, still isn't still But

Molly 6:44

no, it was a big deal. And and so I think that as a kid because I associated avocados with guacamole, and because I was scared of spicy foods. And guacamole was sometimes hiding like, little bits of jalapeno instead. Oh, no. Anyway, I think I was I was sort of suspicious of avocado, but I liked it. I mean, when it was put in front of me, particularly if it were sliced up, or I don't know, like in a sandwich. I was into that I it never occurred to me to have anything against it.

Matthew Amster-Burton 7:17

Yeah, I don't know. Like, how did how did these things happen? Like what made me decide like, this just isn't my thing. I didn't have like some sort of some sort of like, upsetting experience with it.

Molly 7:27

You know, what I what I think about my, my, like, you know, earliest memories of avocado for some reason. I wonder if, when it first came in the stores and again, we're talking about grocery stores in Oklahoma. I seem to remember regularly seeing two different varieties of it, which seems Wait, wait, we're gonna talk

Matthew Amster-Burton 7:47

about this.

Molly 7:48

This seems way too fancy for a grocery store in Oklahoma. But I remember seeing the Is it the Haas avocado that that has the kind of pebbly skin which is what I usually see in stores now. But I remember also frequently seeing one that was lighter green with smooth skin and now I don't see that in my regular

Matthew Amster-Burton 8:07

cat. And it's grown in Florida. And I see it very much anymore either. The Haas has really taken over,

Molly 8:13

will you Will you tell me tell me what you know about avocado.

Matthew Amster-Burton 8:18

Okay, so can we talk some botany?

Molly 8:20

Yeah, did you see hold on? Did you see what I did there with the rhyme?

Matthew Amster-Burton 8:23


Molly 8:24

tell me what you know about dough. Yeah. Yeah.

Matthew Amster-Burton 8:28

Oh, well, we're gonna talk a lot about the word avocado also, but apparently I've just learned from you that it's pronounced avocado.

Molly 8:35

It's like Chicago.

Matthew Amster-Burton 8:38

Chicago. Yes. Yes. Is Yeah, if there were if there's like a tradition of blues songs about avocados which I mean if it was me, I would write one about like all I've got to eat is avocado. So I got the avocado blues. I would put the accent on the last syllable. Let's hop on. So the avocado is persea Americana and it grows on trees. Okay, go on in most likely originated in Mexico or maize mizo America. And it is a climacteric single seeded berry so this is once again we are learning anytime we don't know what a fruit or vegetable is. It's probably a berry.

Molly 9:14

What was the other word you said Chi Mac

Matthew Amster-Burton 9:16

climacteric not not cut it's not a chi mera which is like something with like the head of a lion and I can't remember what else what's a chi Mira?

Molly 9:24

Wouldn't it be cool if Chi mera is laid? Eggs and the eggs were

Matthew Amster-Burton 9:30

kados that is I think you just like invented a new like origin myth.

Molly 9:35

A new a new Greek myth in fact Yes. Yeah.

Matthew Amster-Burton 9:38

I feel I feel like it's more and more like like a Central American myth.

Molly 9:42

Oh you're right I was just thinking Chi mera you know Ancient Greece.

Matthew Amster-Burton 9:45

Yeah, that's true. Anyway, so

Molly 9:47

Okay, go on. Anyway, Central. Okay. So

Matthew Amster-Burton 9:49

I wrote I wrote down a whole bunch of like, botany related stuff out of avocados. But now it turns out that they're they're just Chi Mira eggs, and all of this stuff I wrote down is wrong. Yeah. So

Molly 9:59

Okay, we can just move right along. Okay, so done with this botany segment.

Matthew Amster-Burton 10:04

climacteric means climacteric fruits are fruits that ripen quickly in the presence of ethylene gas. So any fruit that you imagine ripening is probably a climacteric fruit so like like a peach is a climacteric fruit but an apple is not

Molly 10:19

what about a banana is a banana? Yeah. climacteric fruit.

Matthew Amster-Burton 10:23

Yeah. Okay,

Molly 10:24

so stone fruits are stone fruits in general. climacteric fruits. Yep. So wait a minute is an avocado

Matthew Amster-Burton 10:31

is stone fruit and avocado is? So a stone fruit, I think is usually what we call something like in the prunus genus. And so No, those are not at all closely related to those things. But if y stone fruit you mean a fruit with one big ass seed in the middle, then yes.

Molly 10:51

Okay. Okay. All right, go on. This is this is interesting to me. Okay. Wait, what makes a fruit climacteric? Like, what? What's going on in there?

Matthew Amster-Burton 11:00

Right? So it's just programmed to ripen at a certain point and like, you know, drop off the tree and like, get smooshy and delicious and and spread it seeds that way. It's just like a life, you know, life history strategy.

Molly 11:14

I thought you were gonna say it's a robot strategy, because you said it's programmed to do that.

Matthew Amster-Burton 11:19

Well, I mean, we're all programmed to do stuff, not just not just we robots. But we like genetically speaking like, you know, like plants, plants have all kinds of different strategies for reproduction and propagation and whether whether your fruits are climacteric or non climacteric is part of that. But like, what are the advantages and disadvantages of being climacteric? No idea. I just really, as I was saying it realize that climacteric sounds a lot like climax and it's an that I was talking about reproductive strategies. And

Molly 11:50

then you were talking about sex robots.

Matthew Amster-Burton 11:53

So this episode,

Molly 11:55

listener case, we are so sorry for what we've done to this episode.

Matthew Amster-Burton 11:58

And believe me, there's more to come. Unlike most fruits, we eat avocados do not ripen fully on the tree and they need to be picked before they will right back.

Molly 12:06

All right. Wow. They have to be picked before they'll ripen.

Matthew Amster-Burton 12:09

Right? So you can you can leave an avocado on the tree not forever. But for a while and and just like, store it there. If you have an avocado tree? I am told I don't have one.

Molly 12:19

Yeah, this is so interesting. I don't I don't we should. We should see if we can relocate to Southern California for a while so that we can get an avocado tree, grow it successfully and find out for sure. Yeah, that'll be. That'll be what we do with the next decade of spilled milk spilled milk.

Matthew Amster-Burton 12:36

Cow. We've talked about this. I mean, I don't know if we've talked about this. But I've thought about this occasionally. But like if we were if we were an LA based podcast, we would always be having like our favorite comedians on as guests. Not that we can't have our favorite Seattle comedians on as guests. But like, if you're in LA, and you do a podcast, I think you just like hit record and like Mary Holland or john kimberling just shows up and sits down in your studio or your house.

Molly 13:00

Who are those people? Those

Matthew Amster-Burton 13:01

are comedians who are on podcast.

Molly 13:05

I was like, are these famous botanists?

Matthew Amster-Burton 13:07

Those are those are famous botanists. Yes. So remember, we were just we were just in Southern California. And you and you were really taken with the the local flora.

Molly 13:17

Yes. Yeah. Those

Matthew Amster-Burton 13:18

are a couple of the botnets. Who would who would like school you on the local flora? botany podcast.

Molly 13:24

Perfect. Okay. All right.

Matthew Amster-Burton 13:25

Okay. The next fact is avocados are described in the Florentine Codex of Bernardino de saho. goon an ethnography of the Aztec people written in the 16th century. Wow, this is the thing I never knew about. It sounds interesting. It's like a 2400 page book about the Aztec culture written by like a Spanish priest, I believe, like a Jesuit priest.

Molly 13:50

Interesting, huh? Okay. Okay. Yeah. And

Matthew Amster-Burton 13:53

he was like, avocados, good stuff.

Molly 13:55

And so when were these things, domesticated? I mean, I presume that you know, so they originated in Mexico, I presume It was a wild plant. And then they they were domesticated at some point.

Matthew Amster-Burton 14:06

Yeah. So it appears that avocados were domesticated three times all 1000s of years ago in Mexico, Guatemala and the West Indies. Okay, okay. So like, genetics of domesticated avocados tell us that they're like three different branches of the tree.

Molly 14:23

Very cool. Okay. And so I'm guessing that then they were sort of like, you know, bred for various qualities and whatever. What so what are the ones that we know of now? There's the Hoss or half?

Matthew Amster-Burton 14:34

Yeah, I mean, like if you're if you're like a gardener, I'm sure you can order you know, I didn't look up to see if there are avocados with funny names. I didn't do a quiz.

Molly 14:43

Oh my gosh, wow. We're really falling apart here. But we're gonna we're gonna do better. We're gonna figure this out. We won't fall

Matthew Amster-Burton 14:49

down. Everyone's doing their best. Yeah, you know, just just because we are robots and we came program for the factory with literally 1000s of sex moves and positions. Done. Doesn't mean that we know how to do a remote podcast.

Molly 15:02

That's true. It's true, but we're gonna get there. Okay, so there's the Hoss or the Hass hat. Yeah,

Matthew Amster-Burton 15:08

I don't not sure whether it's I say Haas, but I don't know if that's correct. Okay. And those are the dark green ones. They come from Mexico and California. Okay, that we believe skin with the pebbly skin. And then there's this show cat, which are the larger light green ones that are grown in Florida. Okay, and I don't know if I've ever eaten one of the show cats.

Molly 15:27

I don't know if I have either. I don't remember that name. Show cat. I

Matthew Amster-Burton 15:30

remember. I never heard it until I was researching

Molly 15:33

interesting. Okay, cool. What where does the word avocado come from? anyway?

Matthew Amster-Burton 15:39

I'm so glad you asked. So the word avocado has not changed a whole lot in 1000s of years because the novel word was awful. Cottle. Wow. Very old word. Okay. However, the word avocado is not a very old word. I mean, it's sort of is here's where things get kind of fuzzy. So, before 1915 in the US, the fruit was called agua kotti in the which is the Spanish word, or a hot day in California and among Spanish speaking populations, okay. And it was called alligator pear in Florida. Okay, and then the California avocado Association stepped in big avocado and decided to market them as avocados, which was a word that they did not come up with, but was used by like an English botany writer in the seek 17th century, and then pretty much never used again until the 20th century, as far as I can tell.

Molly 16:37

Do you think that you know when it was first coined, like you know, in the 1600s do you think that it was somebody trying to what is the word Trent? transliterate.

Matthew Amster-Burton 16:47

The exactly that.

Molly 16:49

Okay. Yeah. Okay.

Matthew Amster-Burton 16:50

I think so. Or the Spanish word.

Molly 16:52

You know, I'm realizing, Matthew that when we were talking about memory lane, that there was something I had forgotten that actually is a very important stepping stone on my memory.

Matthew Amster-Burton 17:02

Lane. I think the entrance to memory lane is always open.

Molly 17:06

Okay, great. Great. Okay,

Matthew Amster-Burton 17:08

I right up here.

Molly 17:09

Perfect. Um, so you know, you mentioned that in Florida, it was known as the alligator pear. Right. When I was a kid, I as you know, I used to ride horses. And I know, and I had this riding trainer. Her name was Jenny Paisley. What a great name. Right?

Matthew Amster-Burton 17:25

It's a great name. Yes. Especially for like a horse person.

Molly 17:28

Yes. So Jenny Paisley before she lived in Oklahoma, which is where I knew her. She had lived in Albuquerque, New Mexico for many, many years. And so through her, we started going to these horse shows in the summertime in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Anyway, Jenny was very familiar, obviously, with all the businesses around the the fairgrounds in Albuquerque,

Matthew Amster-Burton 17:53

okay. And she

Molly 17:54

took us to this place. I don't know if it still exists. It was near the Albuquerque fairgrounds. It was called Christie Mays, I think. And it was like a really popular lunch place. It was like where you would go to have like, your really great BLT or whatever. Okay. And we would go there for lunch. And I would order what they called the alligator pear. And it was half an avocado, you know, with the pit removed with either, like a perfect like ice cream scoop scoop of of tuna salad or chicken salad in the middle. Oh,

Matthew Amster-Burton 18:30

I think I actually had a nightmare about what you're describing.

Molly 18:35

Anyway, we would go to Korea, I think it was Christie Mays, and I can still picture the sign that this big, you know, big sign on those big old sign poles is like this plasticky looking sign that said, Christy Mays, and we would go and I would have the tuna salad alligator pear and a tall glass of lemonade. And it was definitely lemonade. I don't know it tasted like fresher than country time. It tastes like special to me. And this is such a fond childhood memory for me going it would be really hot. And we would go have lunch at Christy Mays and I wouldn't have my alligator pear and my lemonade was so good.

Matthew Amster-Burton 19:16

Wow, the the lemonade part of that sounds great to me everything else? Yeah, like you. If you were one ever wonder like whether robots can have nightmares. They do. Like I have a nightmare about about a scoop of tuna salad on an avocado. And like sex robots. I'll have nightmares about like, will we ever truly be loved?

Molly 19:37

Yes. Well, I can tell you that the sex robots are capable of loving because I myself have loved an alligator pear filled with tuna salad.

Matthew Amster-Burton 19:48

Fair enough.

Molly 19:55

I want to get back to the word avocado. Okay, cuz I went another thing. on memory lane. I remember as a kid in French class, I remember learning the French word for avocado, which is a VOCA, right? Yeah, that's right. But isn't that the same as the word for lawyer

Matthew Amster-Burton 20:14

in French? Yeah, it's kind of a coincidence. I mean, not exactly. But like the fact that the no waffle word for avocado sounds a lot like the like the word advocate or the word for lawyer in, in romance languages. That is a coincidence. And so when that when avocados became popular, and the Word became part of Spanish and French and Italian, it either came into the language as identical to or very similar to the existing word for lawyer.

Molly 20:41

Okay, interesting. Okay. Yeah, that's really interesting.

Matthew Amster-Burton 20:44

I learned that in Australia, South Africa, in the UK, they are often called avos. For short,

Molly 20:49

that has never occurred to me kind of cute, I

Matthew Amster-Burton 20:51


Molly 20:52

Yeah. I mean, I guess it's kind of cute. It's interesting. It's like, just never occurred to me to call them that, but maybe I'll start.

Matthew Amster-Burton 20:58

So I feel like I have successfully killed a bunch of time here talking about the word, the history, sex robots, without having to talk about like things you do with avocados. On to this,

Molly 21:09

let's get into it. Because this is this is frankly, this is my territory, and I want to be in my territory. Let's

Matthew Amster-Burton 21:16

do it. Okay. Yeah. So I don't know if we're ever going to do a separate guacamole episode. So if you want to make this the guacamole episode, also, like I feel bad that I don't like guacamole, because I love salsa. And I feel like it's kind of a version of salsa and I could get really into it if I liked avocados.

Molly 21:33

I yeah, I don't know what to say. Because I think that the experience of eating like sliced avocado is so different for me from the experience of eating guacamole. I mean, guacamole. For me, avocado is just one part of it, but it's transformed by the lime juice and whatever chili or lemon juice and whatever chili you use, frankly, I don't know like when you mentioned so you wrote in the agenda here like is this just gonna be a guacamole episode? I think it's so funny because it would have never occurred to me. Okay, it this would just be a guacamole episode because I guess I like avocado in other ways.

Matthew Amster-Burton 22:10

Yeah, no wife of the show. Laurie, we went for a walk. And we talked a lot about avocados as we just went and and she said that she likes guacamole. Fine, but that for her like she always wants more avocado out of it and like sliced avocado with salt and pepper. She likes just as much or more. And she really wanted to impress upon me that like one thing that's great about avocados is that they have this creamy texture and luscious curves. And she said she would describe them as voluptuous a word I don't think I've ever heard why the show Laurie say in any other context.

Molly 22:41

Yeah, Laurie. I like what you're thinking about avocados. Yeah, no, I totally agree. Most of the time when we have avocados in the house. I wind up just cutting it open slicing it or even kind of just scooping out sort of like spoonfuls of it and putting it on a plate and eating it with whatever else I'm eating with. Actually, I just put salt on it not even pepper. Yeah, I ready I know.

Matthew Amster-Burton 23:06

You're a bit of a pepper skeptic aren't you?

Molly 23:09

I am kind of a pepper skeptic.

Matthew Amster-Burton 23:11

I'm that critically

Molly 23:12

No, no, I feel like I only want pepper where I want to taste pepper. And that you know that the Venn diagram of where I want to taste salt and where I want to taste pepper like there's a very small overlap there.

Matthew Amster-Burton 23:25

This reminds me that I bought a bottle of hot sauce recently that says something on it like use this on anything you want to make spicy I don't like Thanks. Good work copywriter.

Molly 23:36

Yeah, yeah. Okay, well, they should have hired us, Matthew because soon we're gonna we're gonna be unemployed sex robots because it's so hard to

Matthew Amster-Burton 23:44

podcast. It's so sad. We're gonna we're gonna be like, you're gonna go to the junkyard and you're gonna see us just kind of like splayed out a pile of trash. Kind of like take us home fix us up. We have a lot of love left to give I think

Molly 23:57

and we can write better copy than that. dude who was writing copy for the this the hot sauce. So please. Yeah. Okay. So, Matthew, hold on. Well, yes. But you were saying that you have found other ways to like avocado lately,

Matthew Amster-Burton 24:12

so you don't like so usually like what are you talking about in the past? So first of all, like in the past couple years and then in like, in the past month I've had I had some mildly transformative avocado experiences. This is there. There's this local taco chain in Seattle called tacos. chickies. And they serve like on a lot of their things. what's called guacamole takedo, which is like taco, you know, taqueria style guacamole and it's blended and smooth. So it's not a chunky guacamole. It's like a sauce. And it has tomatoes in it as well as as avocados. And so it's it's like a smooth salsa with some avocado in it. And I think this stuff is great.

Molly 24:56

Do you think that you can actually taste the avocado and I mean, I've had this kind of thing, but I'm just asking you do you think you can taste the avocado in it?

Matthew Amster-Burton 25:05

I think so. But I want I wanted to ask you if you could try describe for me what is the flavor of avocado? Because to me like, oh, it is so subtle.

Molly 25:16

Oh no, it is quite subtle. And we'll so my spouse who I you know, I want the other day ash and I were talking about how there's, you know, our show has wattle and Topsy and then ashes SATA spouse show ash, but satsa I haven't thought to use the phrase Sottsass. So I'd like us to sort of bring this into the vernacular. So I'm going to I'm going to try salutely Yeah, satsa is a huge avocado fan satsa has a much wider range of ripeness is that they can enjoy in an avocado. Oh, like,

Matthew Amster-Burton 25:50

I'm so glad you brought this up.

Molly 25:52

Yeah, because I am extremely particular about what ripeness is is acceptable to me. So here, here's what I'm looking for. And here's how I would describe it flavor wise, I want my avocado to be like firm, ripe. Okay, kind of like hat. Let's see, how do I describe that firmness. It's kind of like kind of like you want like not as soft as you want a ripe nectarine or peach to be but almost there. But if it feels too yielding, it ran it to me it's going to taste rancid or it's going to have like brown spots which I cannot deal with. So I want my avocado to be ripe enough that when you slice through it or scoop through it, it doesn't give off this kind of pale green milky look on the spoon or the knife. Do you know what I'm talking about? Okay, when avocado is ripe, when avocado is under ripe, it will leave kind of this like milky residue on the knife or the spoon. It's pale green. And it has to me this like weird sweet flavor that I cannot handle. This is under ripe avocado. I don't want anything to do with it. ripe avocado. Okay, when you cut into it or scoop from it, it is it doesn't like release that kind of slightly opaque, milky looking stuff. And it just tastes it just tastes really subtle. But rich. It does not taste sweet. It tastes savory, I would say

Matthew Amster-Burton 27:27

okay, your sex robot releases an opaque white milky looking stuff. Is that part of the normal operation?

Molly 27:34

Definitely call the programmer. Get in line with text or call the

Matthew Amster-Burton 27:39


Molly 27:43

The Lord. Wait, hold on, hold on. I'm not done. Matthew Baker. Wait, can I talk about two things that I don't like in in avocados as well. So there's, I don't like when it gets overripe because it can taste kind of rancid to me, you know, it's got such a high oil content. I don't like brown spots. I don't want to be anywhere near them. But here's the other thing I don't like Matthew, have you ever cut into an avocado and noticed almost like a stringy quality to the flesh? Molly?

Matthew Amster-Burton 28:16


Molly 28:17

you know that packing tape. I'm going to ignore this. I'm just going to keep talking that you know the packing tape that's got like fibers in it to make it stronger. Alright. I think some of our listeners will know what I'm talking about. I have cut into avocados that seemed like they were pretty good. But they have these weird fibers in them. And I cannot stand it. I don't know what it is. And I don't want anything to do with it.

Matthew Amster-Burton 28:39

I have seen that. That is one of the things that skeeves me about avocados is that they seem like a cream that also has some structure. Yes. It's like a particle and a wave. Yeah, yep, like cream.

Molly 28:53

But hold on, hold on, but we're talking here. So the structure of the actual stuff like as you mash it, it does not necessarily have this fibrous quality to know by knocking about satsa spouse of the show ash can embrace avocados in pretty much all these forms. And, and like if I opened an avocado and it's like a little overripe for me, or it's got brown spots. I'm like, Okay, well, I'm just gonna leave this here on the cutting board because SATA is going to come along and eat it and they do it. Well. That's great. Yeah, I mean, I guess it's great. No, I

Matthew Amster-Burton 29:27

think it is. Anyway. Yeah, I've gotten good at buying avocados of the ripeness that that wife of the show Laurie is looking for, which I think is the same as what you're looking for when

Molly 29:38

you get it just right. I mean, I agree. It's a very difficult flavor to describe. It's very, very subtle, but it should not be actively sweet. It shouldn't be like a like an under ripe avocado not only as a sweetness but also almost like a squeaky Enos it's like a cheese curd is

Matthew Amster-Burton 29:56

bad. There's avocado oil. That's thing that's become popular recently because they sell it in a big bottle at Costco and my parents always buy it and it seems fine.

Molly 30:05

Yeah, it's kind of high smoke points. You could use it for like stir frying or something, right? Yeah. In theory, okay. Okay. So I know you make tortilla soup sometimes, right?

Matthew Amster-Burton 30:15

Yes, I always get an avocado. So here's here's the procedure Am I in my house whenever I'm serving something that that involves avocado or like, you know that as a garnish, I will go to the store. I'll buy the avocado. And then when I set the table, I will set a little cutting board next to wife of the show Lori's place and put it the avocado and a knife on the cutting board. And then my job is done.

Molly 30:37

I remember recently, or within the last few months, I was eating something at your house and you brought over an avocado. I think it was for something we were doing on the show. You brought me an avocado, a knife and a cutting board and the avocado was like rock hard. And I was like, dude, you should know better than this. We cannot possibly eat this avocado.

Matthew Amster-Burton 30:57

Yeah, I guess that was like that happen for dad pick what? I don't know. Like I wasn't gonna eat it. So did you do a tortilla soup episode? I don't think so. I

Molly 31:06

don't know what this would have been for. But I'm sure one of our listeners will know. Yeah. What other what other uses of avocado? You know, can you think of or you know, might our listeners be familiar with?

Matthew Amster-Burton 31:17

Okay, well, I haven't even talked about my well. Okay. I did talk about my second avocado moment because I think we talked about on the show last week, which I think was our Claremont California episode. Yes, yes. But we went to this taco place in case you didn't listen to that episode because it popped up on your podcast player. Like, why am I gonna listen to an episode about some place in California I've never heard of. We were in Southern California. And we went to this little taco area called Alex's tacos in Pomona. And I ordered something on the menu that I think we had vaguely talked about on the case of dia episode, but had never had which was called a synchrony saga. It is one thing I loved so much. It's one of my favorite things I've ever eaten. One thing I loved so much about it is that if you had told me what it was, I never would have ordered it because it was a ham sandwich with lettuce and tomatoes and avocado in case a do form like ham and cheese. And so it was uh, you know, too big flour tortillas was like, like, kind of slightly funky or hockin cheese, you know, deli ham slice that I think it'd been like, you know, browned a little bit on the on the griddle. And Iceberg lettuce. Not very good supermarket tomato, and chunks of avocado like cooked case a dia style. It was a perfect dish.

Molly 32:36

It was so good. I remember when you took that first bite and you were kind of like, you know, mumbling incoherently Yeah, and anyway, I asked if I could have a taste. And then I wound up asking if I could just keep the entire quarter of it that you had given me because it was so good. And the avocado was perfect in there. I loved it. Have you? Have you considered putting avocado on other hot sandwich type things since then?

Matthew Amster-Burton 33:03

I mean, I've considered trying to make that case idea at home. I haven't tried it yet, but it's gonna happen.

Molly 33:09

Can you get wahaca? Cheese or what? How can cheese at your local grocery store?

Matthew Amster-Burton 33:13

You know, I think yes. Like actually, I think even like the KFC on 15th has a pretty good selection of Mexican cheeses. Nice. Okay.

Molly 33:22

Hey, if you do it, will you let us know? Or at least let me know.

Matthew Amster-Burton 33:26

let you know. Yeah, no, I'll just let Molly know the listener is out in the cold as usual.

Molly 33:31

Yeah. Okay. All right. Yeah. I mean, you know, you can't have any etc, etc,

Matthew Amster-Burton 33:35

etc, etc. Yeah, yeah, that's where everyone everyone has to like, you know, be a little more efficient about everything. And so we are editing our slogan down to you can't have any, etc, etc. It's just the robot way. Yes. Yes, we were. We were built to get the job done as quickly as possible. Which is probably how we ended up in this junkyard.

Molly 33:59

Yes. Okay. Wait, Matthew, do you have anything else to say about avocado because it just occurred to me that one thing we really have not talked about is how you get the pig out?

Matthew Amster-Burton 34:08

Yes. I was gonna ask you. I haven't ever done it.

Molly 34:10

What? I'm sorry. Repeat that. You haven't ever done that.

Matthew Amster-Burton 34:14

I've never cut into an avocado.

Molly 34:16

Because seriously, you do. I know you I know that just a minute ago you said that you usually take the avocado and a knife and a cutting board and put it in front of Laurie but you seriously have never cut the pig out of an avocado yourself?

Matthew Amster-Burton 34:27

I don't think so. Wow. Well, let

Molly 34:29

me tell you about this Matthew. So I think that probably like emergency room nurses and physicians could tell you that a very common kitchen injury is an avocado pit removal injury.

Matthew Amster-Burton 34:41

I'm not surprised.

Molly 34:43

So I think a lot of people do this they they cut around the avocado with the knife so that they can separate it into two halves and twist the halves apart. And then often people will hold on to the half that has the pit with the pit up and then take a knife and like While holding this half in their hand, like, like drive the knife into the pit and twist the pit out. That's

Matthew Amster-Burton 35:06

how Watson does it.

Molly 35:08

Okay, well, so that's how I learned how to do it too. I happen to know that my cousin Katie wound up in the emergency room doing that, but I still catch myself doing it sometimes, the way that I learned, I once took a knife skills class at the pantry here in Seattle, I have to say that none of it stuck. I have like not great knife skills. But one thing that did stick was that, you know, there is really no reason why instead of holding the half of the avocado in your hand, while you whack it with the knife to get the pin, you can just put it on the counter top. You can study it gently, with one hand, use the other hand to just sort of like tap the knife down into it. Okay, and then that way you keep your hand safe. And, like, I don't know where we ever got the idea that we had to hold the thing, I guess so it won't rock. But yeah,

Matthew Amster-Burton 36:03

that's what I'm imagining you put it in putting it putting it on the counter. I think it's gonna like roll over to one side or that when you like, try and tap it with a knife. It's going to get away somehow.

Molly 36:13

Yeah, but you know, there are plenty of things that we cut up on cutting boards all the time that have around side you can just steady it with your hand.

Matthew Amster-Burton 36:22

That's true. Okay, um, anyway.

Molly 36:25

So yeah, I think that that is my that's the way I try to remember to take the pit out. But yeah, I definitely do that thing where I you know, I sort of drive the sharp edge of the knife down into it and then twist and lift and the pit coke out. Yeah,

Matthew Amster-Burton 36:42

I love doing are there. Are there other ways that you know about? I didn't even think to research this.

Molly 36:48

I think that

Matthew Amster-Burton 36:50

is it until the pit drops out.

Molly 36:52

I think you probably could. But I don't know many people who would do that. Because then the other thing is Matthew, I think a lot of the flesh would kind of stick to that. For sure. And then flesh. It's not a good idea at all.

Matthew Amster-Burton 37:07

Have you ever had guacamole prepared table side?

Unknown Speaker 37:10


Molly 37:11

It is one of those gimmicks I don't care about

Matthew Amster-Burton 37:14

Yeah, it seems it feels so festive to me though. Like I think I think I like the idea.

Molly 37:20

Okay, well, would you do you think you would eat it? I know you're no guacamole

Matthew Amster-Burton 37:23

person would probably would need it.

Molly 37:25

You just want to see the theater of it.

Matthew Amster-Burton 37:26

So yeah, exactly. I want to Yeah, I want to I want to go to the theater, but not necessarily dinner theater.

Molly 37:32

Yes. Hey, do you remember? Do you remember when we did some episode that had Bananas Foster in it? Yeah, it was.

Matthew Amster-Burton 37:40

It might have been the banana episode.

Molly 37:42

Well, um, you know, talking about making avocado tableside makes me think of like the like, when Bananas Foster was popular whenever that was decades ago. I think people used to make that tableside too, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah, more like slaving

Matthew Amster-Burton 37:58

there was a table. When if you went to a fancy restaurant, like a continental cuisine restaurant, just food was on fire in the dining room most of the time.

Molly 38:08

Those were the days

Matthew Amster-Burton 38:09

Yeah, as a society. We just don't Bombay the way we used to?

Molly 38:13

Well, and I think that you know, it's unfortunate because now that we have a whole race of robots, robots would be particularly good at flopping tableside because they're, like, not worried about getting injured the same way that uh, that you know, like, flesh and blood humans are.

Matthew Amster-Burton 38:30

That's true, although, like, so wait. I have like a code of like, human ish skin that was that was installed at the factory. Are you just like metal? Yeah,

Molly 38:40

yeah. Can you see can you see the sheen on my on my? Yeah, my skin from the window? Yeah, that's metal. That's not okay. Sorry.

Matthew Amster-Burton 38:48

I make sense that I meant metal but but like, like smooth, smooth, voluptuous metal, right? Yeah.

Unknown Speaker 38:53

Yeah. Good. Yeah.

Matthew Amster-Burton 38:54

There used to be a restaurant in the international district in like little Saigon in Seattle called Malay satay hut. And they had a an avocado milkshake. That wife of the show Laurie really enjoyed super creamy. Like, you could make it your whole meal easily.

Molly 39:10

Have you ever gone to Nacho borracho which is a bar on Broadway in Seattle. So they have like slushie machines, you know, that are constantly like churning behind the bar.

Matthew Amster-Burton 39:21

That is such a great gimmick. Isn't it

Molly 39:24

isn't it's so appealing. And anyway, a drink that they always have in one of those slushie machines is an avocado Margarita, which I would have. I'm not big on the idea of like, avocados in drinks. But I love that avocado Margarita. It basically takes all the flavors of a margarita. And then I don't know it just gets a little subtle shift from the avocado and kind of a beautiful green color. I'm super into it.

Matthew Amster-Burton 39:54

Okay, well next time we go there. You order that and I'd like to try a sip.

Molly 39:57

I can't wait until we can go there again.

Matthew Amster-Burton 39:59

Yeah. Same here. I learned about filhos, which is a characteristic dish of Martinique. And it's like a guacamole with salt cod or crab mixed in probably good if you like those things

Molly 40:11

feel almost like, like ferocious. Yeah, exactly. Wow. Oh my god, I totally want to make something called ferocious.

Matthew Amster-Burton 40:18

I know it sounds great. Right.

Molly 40:20

It sounds fantastic. It also sounds like I don't know why it's never occurred to me before that ferocious could be a really good name. Like

Matthew Amster-Burton 40:27

a person. Yeah, like precious.

Molly 40:30

Yeah, like precious or there any number of like names and like Greek antiquity that have like us endings, right?

Matthew Amster-Burton 40:38

Oh, yeah. Like, like even.

Molly 40:42

Like, what about the name Ignatius.

Matthew Amster-Burton 40:43

What about the name Ignatius. You tell me. I know. There's a St. Ignatius. ferocious St. Paul name. There was a metallic album called St anger, which is kind of the same as St. feroce. So it's, I guess, I guess what I'm saying is like, we just became members of Metallica.

Molly 41:05

Yeah, yeah. Let's let's put some salt cod and guacamole in it.

Matthew Amster-Burton 41:10

Yeah. And if we bring if we bring like, if we prepare guacamole tableside at the Metallica practice we are in. Like, we've been called into audition for Metallica. We're not we don't really like play well enough to be in even like a bad Metallica cover band. But we brought guacamole and we're gonna prepare a table side.

Molly 41:29

Yeah, you know, I think I think I'll bring Bananas Foster as like a backup in case the guacamole isn't. Do Bananas Foster tableside they will write

Matthew Amster-Burton 41:40

the flames. I'm trying I'm thinking of every Metallica song title I can to see if I can come up with some kind of plan here. But I got nothing.

Molly 41:48

Okay. Well, I think that we have reached the logical but we've gone past the logical conclusion of our avocado episode. You can you can, you know, chime in on a god so many. What do we want them to say on our Facebook page? Well,

Matthew Amster-Burton 42:04

I think there's a lot of avocado stuff that we didn't cover because it's not part of our cooking repertoire. And we'd like to hear about that. Yeah. How would you describe the flavor of an avocado

Molly 42:16

please? I would love to hear other people try this because I don't think I did a great job.

Matthew Amster-Burton 42:22

What can you come up with a Python involving like what things we would that Molly and I would do at a Metallica audition? Yeah, can you? I think I think it'd be more like exit Sandman because we'd be kicked out that's what I got.

Molly 42:39

Anyway, so you should you know that way and

Matthew Amster-Burton 42:43


Molly 42:45

Nice nice facebook.com slash spilled milk podcast tell us everything that we've gotten wrong here.

Matthew Amster-Burton 42:53

I read Yeah, facebook.com slash build podcast. Please rate and review the show wherever you find it. Our producer is Abby sercotel Oh, Instagram ads build milk podcast. And until next time, thank you for listening to spilled milk.

Molly 43:08

The show that's come and table the table making guacamole

Matthew Amster-Burton 43:14

and doing sex robot stuff. Molly weissenberg that i Matthew Amster-Burton

I don't have any avocados in the house. Yeah,

Molly 43:29

that's that's never gonna happen.