497: Gatorade

Molly 0:04

I'm Molly and I'm Matthew. We're back in this studio. Well

Matthew Amster-Burton 0:08

I don't know what's gonna happen it's gonna be super weird.

Molly 0:10

We were just recording an ad a second ago and Matthew just sat there staring at me and blinking and I was like, Is this how it is when we record in person?

Matthew Amster-Burton 0:18

I think it is. Yeah.

Molly 0:20

Anyway, Hello, this is spilled milk The show where we cook something delicious eat and all and you can't

Matthew Amster-Burton 0:26

Yes, you know our classic login Hello, log paws dead air slugging

Molly 0:34

Today we are discussing Gatorade and

Matthew Amster-Burton 0:37

yeah, so this is what happened. This is why we're talking about Gatorade and competing sports drinks today. We were going to come back with roaring back into the studio with an episode on calzones or Cal zonies depending on how you say them. And which is something that Molly's never had. I was going to greet Molly with a with a homemade Cal's piping hot, piping hot. And then we heard that today was going to be the hottest day of the year so far. Yeah. I live in a greenhouse.

Molly 1:03

You do you live in a house with Eastern exposure, eastern and southern exposure. And it is fully carpeted. And it's just so

Matthew Amster-Burton 1:15

cozy and so cozy. Yeah, it's hot. It's sweaty. So we like stand on a summer could write a song about instead

Molly 1:22

we are going to replenish our electrolytes. Yes, and we're gonna drink Gatorade.

Matthew Amster-Burton 1:27

Hope we're gonna talk about what electrolytes are because I only sort of now

Molly 1:31

Oh, dear, that, you know, I looked up a lot of stuff for this episode, but I did not get into what electrolytes are.

Matthew Amster-Burton 1:38

I mean, I know we can make it up.

Molly 1:40

Okay, great. So, um,

Matthew Amster-Burton 1:42

it sounds like someone who's gonna, like make decisions about like, you know, their their electrolyte strategy based on our show, right?

Molly 1:50

I hope not. And I will actually Matthew I cut out a lot of the stuff that we could be saying about like Gatorade and whether or not it actually works.

Matthew Amster-Burton 1:59

Oh, I don't care. I just want to know what it tastes.

Molly 2:01

Okay, cool.

Matthew Amster-Burton 2:02

So let's do you want to hear about your electrolyte strategy? Oh, good. Great length.

Molly 2:07

Okay. Let's start out by going down memory lane.

Matthew Amster-Burton 2:10

Okay, so I do remember having Gatorade as a kid occasionally. Like, I don't really associate it with sporting events even though this is gonna surprise you. I did play several sports.

Molly 2:21

What sports did you play? Okay,

Matthew Amster-Burton 2:22

so when I was little I played Boys and Girls Club. Soccer. Okay, I was my soccer team was weirdly good. I was the worst player on it. That's a

Molly 2:32

terrible feeling. Like whatever experience

Matthew Amster-Burton 2:34

Yeah, whatever position they stick you out when like you did, they don't want you to really be involved in the game. That was always my position like left path back or something left half back. Then in middle school, I played basketball. I was on the B team. Okay, which is the team for people who don't know how to play basketball. And then in high school, I was on the swim team and I was okay at that. Okay, go on. Alright, so don't associate Gatorade with any of those things. I just want to brag about how sporty Yeah, okay.

Molly 3:04

What do you associate Gatorade? Well,

Matthew Amster-Burton 3:07

I associate Gatorade with being sick. Like then it's it's like, you know, really like my my mom. And like as an adult, like usually the thing I'll drink when I'm sick is seven AP or Sprite. But Gatorade has figured in there also and in particular, like my strongest association with this type of sports drink is with a very similar drink called pocari sweat in Japan. Okay, which you can get to us also, do

Molly 3:31

they sell it in like vending machines? Or Well,

Matthew Amster-Burton 3:33

yeah, okay, or Yeah, or convenience stores and they sell it everywhere. And when a few years ago when I got really sick with norovirus in Fukuoka and got taken in by a family that I barely knew,

Molly 3:47

I loved that you got taken in by a family.

Matthew Amster-Burton 3:50

They nursed me back to health with copious amounts of of pocari sweat, so that's like now I mean, I am still capable of drinking it even though it makes me feel like you know being rehabilitated.

Molly 4:02

That's so interesting. Gatorade is or like sports drinks as the Pedialyte for grownups.

Matthew Amster-Burton 4:08

Yes. Although Pedialyte has become the Pedialyte for grownups, right?

Molly 4:11

I think I had either one. I mean, I've never had Pedialyte

Matthew Amster-Burton 4:15

yeah when I that Broadway q FC. Now they have Pedialyte for sale in the liquor section, because it doesn't remedy Oh, yeah, that makes

Molly 4:24

me deeply sad about the state of our relationship to alcohol.

Matthew Amster-Burton 4:29

I think it's probably pretty similar to Gatorade,

Molly 4:32

right? Although I do think that it's not designed to like taste as good as Gator Okay,

Matthew Amster-Burton 4:39


Molly 4:40

I don't know. Yeah. Anyway. Okay. Well, hold on. So first of all, I want to tell you about how sporty I am. Okay. Yes, please. If there's one thing people ought to know about me, it's that I'm sporty but we both of us this is I got look at my rippling biceps.

Matthew Amster-Burton 4:54

Oh, wow. The rippling that's something that I was gonna say. I

Molly 4:58

waited the gym.

Matthew Amster-Burton 5:00

Yeah, definitely the way you're pointing is a great bit for an audio show. Yeah. Yeah, let's just let's just do all like funny gestures and face. When I was on the swim team, like I had some muscles that was like, the only time in my life when I had some muscles.

Molly 5:17

I wonder I'm trying to picture it. I

Matthew Amster-Burton 5:18

know like, it seems it seems weird, but it happened like not now like, like bodybuilder muscles, but like muscles with some definition of like, this is not something I really care about. But it's funny that that once happened to me,

Molly 5:29

that's so exciting. I love the idea that it happened to you like you just you just sat there and it washed over you.

Matthew Amster-Burton 5:34

I used this shake. Wait.

Molly 5:37

Everybody uses their shake. Wait. Yes, obviously.

Matthew Amster-Burton 5:41

Shake weights and Gatorade. That's how America got healthy. So

Molly 5:44

I have played lots of sports as well. In middle school, I played volleyball and I played basketball. Okay, I'm pretty sure that our listeners already know what my record was in, in basketball.

Matthew Amster-Burton 5:57

I do. I don't know.

Molly 5:59

I've mentioned this that that one year, I scored a total of four points. Okay. And I actually played a lot

Matthew Amster-Burton 6:05

All right. Yeah. So So were you on the beat team? There was no beating Okay. Why did the Why did they let you play?

Molly 6:12

I think that they had a like a mercy policy. Like, you know, we we have to let everyone learn.

Matthew Amster-Burton 6:19

Speaking of sports, like a thing of a YouTube rabbit hole that I went down recently was amazing. wiffle ball pitches that apparently because of wiffle ball is so light you can do pitches that are would be completely impossible with a baseball and so I watched this like 12 minute video of someone like scuffing up a wiffle ball exactly right. And then doing these pitches where to go like around to the spiral or like dropped to the ground right in front of the batter. Like it was great.

Molly 6:44

That's so cool.

Matthew Amster-Burton 6:45

I guess that's my recommendation of the week is like like wiffleball video, watching wiffle ball videos don't actually play we'll link to some will link to a wiffle ball video.

Molly 6:54

Okay. Okay, so if you were I was great in basketball and volleyball. Yeah. And then in high school, we had to play sports. And wow, yeah, you had to so you know, there were there were three quarters, basically. And you had to play a sport every quarter. Wow, a different one every quarter. Yeah, cuz they didn't offer the same ones every quarter. Right, you know?

Matthew Amster-Burton 7:17

Yeah, cuz cuz like sports? Uh huh. Could I name the season? Have any I know they played football in the winter? Right? follows in the fall.

Molly 7:25

When do you think field hockey is?

Matthew Amster-Burton 7:27

I think field hockey would be the summer because like in the winter, you play ice hockey? I think field hockey was in the fall. I mean, I guess like none of them would be in the summer if it was school sports, because you wouldn't be That's right. That's right.

Molly 7:39

Okay, hold on there. Um, so my freshman year I did volleyball and then I figured out that I could be the volleyball manager. So then I became the manager and I learned how to keep score and like the special score book, which I don't know how to do anymore, but I feel like that was kind of cool that I tend to do it came up. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, so I was a volleyball manager and I also another season ran cross country.

Matthew Amster-Burton 8:05

Oh, yeah.

Molly 8:06

Which I think of as kind of like a great sport. Yeah, basically, we just got to spend all of our time off campus running around. That sounds great, except for the running around. But somehow, I just remember like, I have much more fond memories of it than like being in a gym. Okay, or like,

Matthew Amster-Burton 8:27

you know what I mean? No, I definitely always kind of looked up to or like was envious of people on the cross country team, even though I really did not want to run

Molly 8:34

so I was on JV and I was the fifth out of six JV runners.

Matthew Amster-Burton 8:39

Okay. Yeah, I once completed i don't i think this is probably in middle school or or maybe even like elementary school. I once completed the mile in 20 minutes.

Molly 8:48

Are you serious? Yeah. I think there was a time when I had a mile in like the low seven minutes. That's good. I think I mean, quite good. I couldn't do that now. But anyway, what I'm trying to say here is not that I associate Gatorade with any of these sports, but that I associated with horseback riding can what I wound up doing a lot. In fact, I was able to get a note from my riding trainer and I didn't have to do the school sports for like the whole rest of high school. But here's the thing. So because so I was riding competitively and like all over the Southwest so hot dusty you drive from Yeah, you ride like you know all the way Oklahoma to Albuquerque.

Matthew Amster-Burton 9:29

It's like how in professional golf you're not allowed to use a cart. Maybe you know, a true

Molly 9:33

I have no idea.

Matthew Amster-Burton 9:35

It's just came to mind as like a fact that I know and they're like, I don't know if that's true. And I don't know like how I would have known that.

Molly 9:42

Those guys are I mean, you know, obviously they're in good shape because they're able to like you know, hit golf balls and non injured themselves. But do you think they're walking like the whole 18 holes?

Matthew Amster-Burton 9:53

I think maybe they are. Maybe if they're if they're like really successful somebody carries

Molly 9:58

heavy Have you ever noticed how often I talk about Albuquerque on

Matthew Amster-Burton 10:02

this show? Oh, are we going to go to the horse's

Molly 10:06

mouth? Okay, again, we're going to the fairgrounds in Albuquerque and we're going to be there for two weeks drinking Gatorade. Okay, because that is Yeah, I mean, I remember going to the grocery store wherever we were for horse shows and getting a couple, like, you know, not like, what would have been the size up from a liter of Gatorade, two liter, maybe as a two liter it was.

Matthew Amster-Burton 10:28

Okay, how much is a leader in a leader? A little over two cups? little over two? little over four cups. Right? Because it's like a little more than a than a than a court court. Right? So yeah, probably too late.

Molly 10:41

I'm so glad while this episode is tight,

Matthew Amster-Burton 10:44

well, I was I was thinking No, you know, I'm not even gonna say the thing. I was thinking it would be the most boring thing. Okay.

Molly 10:48

Anyway, so I remember going and getting whatever the hell that size was. and always the lemon lime flavor.

Matthew Amster-Burton 10:55

Okay, which we have today in the studio. Great. And this is your life. I Brian. And you and your lemon lime Gator at? You're gonna meet him both in just a minute.

Molly 11:06

Okay, I think I'm done with memory lane.

Matthew Amster-Burton 11:08

Okay, wait. So I have some horse questions that I've asked you a million times before. So like, did you did you have your own horse? And did you always ride the same horse at these events?

Molly 11:16

So I did have my own horse. My trainer had a number of horses. And I would sometimes ride one of her horses, especially if she was trying to sell it. Like, you know, she would need to like, you know, you'd need to get it out in front of people. And it was helpful to see like someone who was not an adult, right?

Matthew Amster-Burton 11:35

Or you were sort of like a horse realtor.

Molly 11:37

I was like a horse realtor. Basically, I was kind of the Vanna White of the horse show world like I would kind of just like trot out and turn around a mile and turn around 180 degrees and wave my hand. And that's how you show horses.

Matthew Amster-Burton 11:51

Yeah, okay. Okay. Nice.

Molly 11:53

Yeah. Anyway, okay, so let's talk about what Gatorade is. And and I should say, I mean, we're talking really about Gatorade here. Although we do acknowledge that there's like, Powerade and stupid aid and all kinds of AIDS

Matthew Amster-Burton 12:05

though there. Yeah, I did get a power a Oh, you did? Yeah, I got the blue power aid, which I think I've had in the past.

Molly 12:11

Okay. Well, we're gonna be talking about about Gatorade. But I think Gatorade is the original sports beverage. Right? So this is an American brand. I didn't really know this until I started researching but like, they have way more than drinks now, but we're not going to be talking about that stuff. Okay, but if got like food and gels and stuff,

Matthew Amster-Burton 12:31

we're not going to want to talk about that a little bit. Because no, just a little bit, I promise. Okay, because they're they used to, and I think it's been discontinued for a long time, they used to have a product called Gator gum. And like the selling point of Gator gum was that it would like you know, quench your thirst by making you salivate a lot, which I don't think really checks out from, from like a physics standpoint.

Molly 12:53

So you produce the liquid and then you swallow it. Ah, this is fascinating, I

Matthew Amster-Burton 12:58

guess. I guess it could like, you know, help your mouth feel less dry. Anyway, I love this stuff. Like this was like a special treat when I was a kid is like a sour gum.

Molly 13:07

Oh, sour.

Matthew Amster-Burton 13:08

Yeah, cuz because like, that's what would stimulate salivation

Molly 13:11

I bet I would have loved it. Yeah. Okay. Okay, well, fine. So

Matthew Amster-Burton 13:15

well, people I saw people online saying that if you loved Gator gum, you should try a brand of gum called quench. So maybe we'll do that sometime in the future.

Molly 13:22

Okay, so Matthew, can I tell you a little bit of Gatorade history? Yes, please do. Okay, so Gatorade has been around since 1965. All right. And it was developed by a team of scientists at the University of Florida College of Medicine. All right.

Matthew Amster-Burton 13:36

I knew it was associated with the Florida Gators. Yes. Okay.

Molly 13:39

So the the school sports team, the Gators, I guess like they filed a request with the the school college of medicine to make them a drink that would like replenish the carbohydrates. They were burning doing sports and also replenish like the electrolytes and water that they lost in sweat.

Matthew Amster-Burton 14:00

All right, I have a question. Did other college sports teams also ask their schools of medicine for special drinks around the same time? Was this a trend and Gatorade was just the most successful?

Molly 14:12

I don't think this was a trend. I didn't Well, maybe you know, so again, I used Wikipedia as my source and it's always possible that like the University of Florida just like dominates that Gator aid page and they erase you know, any other any other competitors.

Matthew Amster-Burton 14:31

Is there a sports scene called the Crimson Tide and doesn't it seem like that would be a good name for a sports drink?

Molly 14:36

That's the University of Alabama. Okay, right Roll Tide.

Matthew Amster-Burton 14:39

Yeah, there we go. There we go. Like you could you can cheer for them and drink them. Yeah, simultaneously.

Molly 14:46

Yes, it's the Crimson Tide does this refer to like waves of blood? I like the like, like the elevator in the shining like the blood that comes like crashing out of it. Yeah,

Matthew Amster-Burton 14:56

I think it probably Wow, hey,

Molly 14:59

if we have Any University of Alabama alum

Matthew Amster-Burton 15:02

right cuz there's no other way to find out

Molly 15:04

please let us know. Okay, but Matthew, I'm not done. Okay. So it's interesting actually it's not very interesting.

Matthew Amster-Burton 15:12

All right, let's move on. So,

Molly 15:14

the guy who was like the leader of this team of researchers, his name was Robert Cade, and he is known as like the father of Gatorade slash the father of sports drinks.

Matthew Amster-Burton 15:23

They probably called him Gator. Kade.

Molly 15:25

What do you want to be known as the father of the father? I

Matthew Amster-Burton 15:28

guess? My child

Molly 15:31

taught c December. Yeah, they

Matthew Amster-Burton 15:33

taught D. Oh, that's right. Yeah, I guess that's what I mean. It's yesterday was Father's Day. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Like I'd like to be that known as the father of a human. Good, who's almost an adult? Okay, let's be honest.

Molly 15:49

Okay. So back to Robert Cade. Father of gait right. So the earliest version that they developed was a mixture of water sodium, sugar, potassium phosphate and lemon juice maybe

Matthew Amster-Burton 16:00

I want to be known as like the the CO parent of food comedy podcasting because i don't think i think we may share custody. I think we share custody of this podcast.

Molly 16:10

We are not the first

Matthew Amster-Burton 16:11

I was there another comedy food podcast before ours. Like we weren't the first comedy podcast. We weren't the first food podcast but were we the first explicitly food comedy podcast? Yeah, I think so. So in conclusion, fuck you. doughboys we were here first

Molly 16:28

we do we have a Wikipedia page. No. Listeners make us a Wikipedia

Matthew Amster-Burton 16:33

deleted immediately. Okay, we need to invent a sports drink when we have our own sports drink associated with

Molly 16:39

then we'll go down as the mother and father of spilled milk. We

Matthew Amster-Burton 16:42

could have a drink called spilled milk that would replace your your electrolytes and for people who are nursing or lost milk.

Molly 16:54

You know, the like, protein thing? muscle milk? Oh, yeah. Is there anything more revolting than the thought of muscle mass? Like ringing out your bicep? We? We think

Matthew Amster-Burton 17:06

that why you were holding up your bicep earlier cuz you were you were hoping I would wring it out and drink the juice. Like people have asked us to do a muscle milk episode. Can you refuse? I said I would do it. Maybe I'll do it solo.

Molly 17:19

It'd be great. I'll just sit here and ask you how it is. Okay. Yeah.

Matthew Amster-Burton 17:22

Let's see. That'll be a bonus episode.

Molly 17:24

Okay. All right. So hold on back to data, right. So nobody really knows for sure whether this stuff worked. Like when you actually read like, you know, quotes from the football players, the University of Florida at the time, they're like, I don't really know if it helped, but I like to drinking it. Sure. So whatever. But the University of Florida football team does credit Gatorade as being like a factor in their first ever Orange Bowl win. Okay, this isn't like 1867

Matthew Amster-Burton 17:53

since they started giving the players Gatorade. Have they ever lost a game?

Molly 17:57

I'm sure yeah. Okay. Anyway, so they want

Matthew Amster-Burton 18:01

now other teams can buy Gatorade to exactly pay for it.

Molly 18:04

Yeah. Anyway, so after this Orange Bowl, when was when Gatorade gained traction in like the broader athletic community. And in fact, the team that lost the Georgia Tech yellow jackets, their good name, isn't that good? I

Matthew Amster-Burton 18:22

don't think I've ever heard that before.

Molly 18:24

Their coach, when asked why his team lost the thing that every coach gets asked right after a game. He said, quote, we didn't have Gatorade that made the difference. And quote, did he Okay,

Matthew Amster-Burton 18:38

I've seen questions about this being sarcastic First of all, first of all, it seems like a thing that no one actually said

Molly 18:46

right? It does seem like Gatorade said that right? Right.

Matthew Amster-Burton 18:49

Like like that they fabricated this but this person probably didn't even exist was actually thinking

Molly 18:54

that maybe he had been reading the road less traveled. And that made all the difference.

Matthew Amster-Burton 19:00

Oh, okay. poem. Oh, but but like the Gatorade branded version?

Molly 19:05

Yeah, yes. Yeah. I

Matthew Amster-Burton 19:10

and I like totally pounded my thermos of Gatorade and just headed down one of them. It was a good day. Robert Frost out.

Molly 19:19

Even Robert Cade himself said that like the the effect of Gatorade could very well be placebo effect. Yeah, probably. There we go. Okay. Early Gatorade ads claimed that the drink moved through the body 12 times faster than water 12

Unknown Speaker 19:37

times faster in that you would pee. Right? Like, why would your sad sports drink it would be terrible.

Matthew Amster-Burton 19:46

Right? Unless I guess I guess I don't know. Do you do like football players? Were depends problems. Possibly. Yeah. Okay, that that is a wild claim. So this was debunked. This was debunked Gator didn't even have to be debunked. Let's see like this would be the easiest debugging error

Molly 20:02

Wikipedia claims that research caused it to be debunked. Okay.

Matthew Amster-Burton 20:08

When like how long was was Gator a just like a college sports drink before it was marketed to the wider world

Molly 20:16

not very long. So the guys at the University of Florida always wanted it to be a commercial product. Okay, yeah. And in fact that that affected like the name of it. So they originally called it Gatorade, like as in a ID. Okay. Yeah,

Unknown Speaker 20:34

but because they were not interested in having it be a scientifically validated product. They just wanted to like take this to the market. They changed it they changed it to a D because they have had if they had left it as Gator AI D they would have had to do a study proving that it actually aided alligators. Yeah, okay, that's exactly right. Why have we gotten this far without drinking Gatorade yet?

Molly 20:57

No, I'm starting to feel dehydrated. Go to the fridge now please. I need something to make me urinate instantly.

Matthew Amster-Burton 21:03

All right, let's test this out. Okay, there may be a debunking right here in the studio bring

Molly 21:07

a bucket so I can pay.

Matthew, I realized after I did the research that I gave you a really challenging task like when you went to buy this because

Matthew Amster-Burton 21:22

it was probably the greatest challenge in

Molly 21:24

my life many different Gatorade like lines and we'll get there and so

Matthew Amster-Burton 21:29

I looked at the at the Gatorade shells and I was like, screw this. I'm getting this one flavor. That sounds interesting. I'm getting the original lemon lime, aka the yellowish greenish one. Yep. And then some blue Powerade because I think I want to drag that when I had the flu.

Molly 21:43

Cool. Okay, so let's start drinking and I'll keep going.

Matthew Amster-Burton 21:47

Okay, we got to start with you don't have to shake Gatorade, do you?

Molly 21:51

I don't think so. I remember drinking Gatorade often at room temperature. Because I'd be outside in the heat. But then whenever it was chilled, I remember it being like elixir of the God. Yeah,

Matthew Amster-Burton 22:04

room temperature. Gatorade sounds not very good. Cheers,

Molly 22:07

Matthew. Here's

Matthew Amster-Burton 22:08

pretty good. Still the same as it always was. And it's got that salt flavor.

Molly 22:14

This tastes like horse shows.

Matthew Amster-Burton 22:16

Yeah, I've never even been to a horse show and I can taste it.

Molly 22:19

Oh, it really does have that salt flavor.

Matthew Amster-Burton 22:21

Yeah, fridge comes from Salt. Right?

Molly 22:25

I don't know. I mean, we're going to talk about maybe what it contains. Maybe I cut that part

Matthew Amster-Burton 22:29

water sugar dextrose citric acid salt, sodium citrate mana potassium phosphate gum arabic glycerol ester of rosin. Oh, dear, natural flavor and yellow number five.

Molly 22:40

You know, one thing I did cut because it wasn't very funny, but I think that we should mention it, which is that a lot of school districts have passed rules, like about the selling of Gatorade because it's basically a soda. Yeah, I mean, it has like as much sugar in it as soda. And yet, I think for a long time it was marketed as being a health thing. And I mean,

Matthew Amster-Burton 22:59

but it has electrolytes and it has salt. Yeah. And and mono potassium phosphate.

Molly 23:05

I find this very intuitive. Yeah,

Matthew Amster-Burton 23:06

it's very good. It's the color of squirt. But it doesn't taste like squirt. That's right.

Molly 23:10

Okay, Matthew. Now let me tell you a little bit more. So this has been manufactured by a bunch of different companies. Now it's made by PepsiCo Gatorade accounts for 75% of the market share in the sports drink category.

Matthew Amster-Burton 23:22

Now I was just wondering me what constitutes sports drinks per se because it seems like okay, cuz don't is like energy drinks came on the scene much later. And Mike. Well, those

Molly 23:32

are caffeine. Right. My

Matthew Amster-Burton 23:34

impression though, is that those at least for a time were like more popular than sports drinks, but I don't know.

Molly 23:39

I don't know either. And I'm sure that Gatorade has like a caffeine line.

Matthew Amster-Burton 23:44

That's what I was wondering. Like, there really there seem to be like, like a, an area in the middle of the Venn diagram where it's kind of a sports drink and kind of an energy drink.

Molly 23:52

Okay, hold on. Let me get let me get Okay. Okay. So, in the early years, there was just one product line. And that was Gatorade, thirst quencher, which is what we're drinking right now. And it was sold in liquid form and in powder form. Do you remember this? You could buy it as a powder.

Matthew Amster-Burton 24:06

I do remember this, but I didn't. I would not have come up with it until you mentioned it

Molly 24:10

anyway. And it was originally sold in just two flavors. This lemon lime, which tastes like it has not changed. And orange, isn't it we as I say this, this might be wrong but but like kool aid is mostly still sold as a powder. Right?

Matthew Amster-Burton 24:25

I'm pretty sure cuz it's funny that like, they never like they didn't like transition to marketing, just liquid Kool Aid.

Molly 24:32

I mean, imagine the shipping costs,

Matthew Amster-Burton 24:34

but I mean, it wouldn't be worse than the shipping cost for gate right? I mean, they would charge much more for it. That's true.

Molly 24:40

Okay. Anyway, the third flavor, fruit punch. Do you remember the red one? The third flavor didn't come on the scene till 1983 Okay, so almost 20 years 15 years. So we are we

Matthew Amster-Burton 24:52

were there for the launching of Gatorade fruit punch

Molly 24:55

big moment in human history.

Matthew Amster-Burton 24:58

Yeah, no, I remember that. I remember. At the moon landing, the Kennedy assassination challenger explosion challenger explosion and the Gatorade fruit punch launch.

Molly 25:08

You were not there for the Kennedy assassination or was I conspiracy? All right, it wasn't until the mid 19. mid to late 1990s. That like a really broad range of flavors were available things like cherry rush, okay, which sounds like you're getting your period. Watermelon, strawberry Kiwi and manda Rena,

Matthew Amster-Burton 25:30

speaking of watermelon, so let me see if I can remember what what's on this dumb commercial. So there has been a commercial lately for McDonald's that I find very puzzling, because it seems like they are trying so hard to make this premise work. And the idea is that they have these new slushy drinks. And the three flavors are blue raspberry, pink lemonade, and strawberry watermelon. Okay, okay. And the the, the idea of the commercial is they say, Have you ever heard of a blue raspberry and Okay, I'm with Okay, I'm with you. Now. What about a pink lemon? I like now you're starting to lose me because Pink Lemonade is a very well known thing. And then what about a strawberry watermelon? And like, you just put two different fruits together. Like, like, I feel like I feel like someone someone like involved in this commercial is like really disappointed. How it came out. I feel like

Molly 26:25

where does it go from there?

Matthew Amster-Burton 26:27

Oh, then it's like, who cares when they're so tasty. Try our new slushies. Wow, this was like I've just I'm doing an uncommon No, no, Donald's commercial. Yeah.

Molly 26:36

Seriously. That is the kind of ad you make when you do not know what to do with this product. Yeah,

Matthew Amster-Burton 26:43

that's exactly

Molly 26:44

the definition of like, Hey, we didn't know how to advertise this thing. So let's talk about how we didn't know how to advertise. I

Matthew Amster-Burton 26:52

guess the other thing is like, I had like blue raspberry ice when I was a kid like blue raspberry is not a new concept. Like, you know, we've gotten we've gotten our flavor wizards have gone wild and came up with a blue raspberry.

Molly 27:03

I was looking at, like a clothing company the other day that has this color of blue that they're calling Blackberry. I like that. And now that is a new concept.

Matthew Amster-Burton 27:16

That adds a slash I went to

Molly 27:22

so excited. I just dumped myself. But you know what? My jumpsuit is is black. It's black as its

Matthew Amster-Burton 27:35

show now. Ever. Why? I haven't been invited.

Molly 27:41

Put lids on your drinks, dude. I only drink out of water bottles,

Matthew Amster-Burton 27:46

water lids. Okay, next time you come over I'll order 1000 Fountain soda cups with lids. I really look like a seven.

Molly 27:59

I like a glass cup with no lid on top of a blanket covered table.

Matthew Amster-Burton 28:05

Right. That's why I call that a glass.

Molly 28:10

Okay, all right. Let's move on. Wait a minute. Hold on. I am ready to talk. My points. Wait, did you It's so well.

Matthew Amster-Burton 28:21

Did you spell that? Or is that instinct urination caused by Gatorade shooting through your body at unbelievable speeds.

Molly 28:30

Let's talk about the Gatorade sublines

Matthew Amster-Burton 28:32

Oh, yes, I'm excited for that. Okay, so he likes him. Would you like some metaphors? So the next flavor? Yeah, this might be bad. It's lime, cucumber.

Molly 28:39

Okay, you do that while I talk? Okay, so in 1997, the company added a sub line called Gatorade frost. This was aimed not at the sports drink segment of the market. So here we are branching into a new thing. This was marketed to the active thirst category question.

Matthew Amster-Burton 28:57

What the hell does that mean?

Molly 28:59

I don't know. Hold on. Wait, let me taste this. It's I smell cucumber. Oh, I

Matthew Amster-Burton 29:03

kind of like this.

Molly 29:05

Oh, I like this.

Matthew Amster-Burton 29:07

Good. Oh, I really like this. I love cucumber, drinks, cucumber, cocktails, whatever. But I figured like, like a big, you know, corporate drink company would do a bad job of it. No, no, this

Molly 29:17

is delicious. Okay, hold on. So apparently, the active thirst category is actually a bigger market than the sports drink category.

Matthew Amster-Burton 29:26

What else would you find in the active thirst category?

Molly 29:29

I don't know. I wonder if like vitamin water.

Matthew Amster-Burton 29:32

Oh. But like, when I experience a thirst? How do I determine whether or not it's an active thirst because I think I have a lot of passive thirst.

Molly 29:44

Anyway, Gatorade, for us was a really big success. And it was also the first time that the company like like went away from using fruit names. Okay, I don't know what names they did use.

Matthew Amster-Burton 29:55

Okay, it sounds like you're a real expert on Gator frost and the active thirst set So,

Molly 30:01

now we're going on to another sub line. All right, there's also haterade rain, which was originally marketed ice, and it was colorless. And lighter flavored.

Matthew Amster-Burton 30:13

There was did this happen like maybe around the time of Crystal Pepsi or it now must be later.

Molly 30:17

Later. Then there was g two, which was the lower calorie line meant for athletes off the field. That's you and me.

Matthew Amster-Burton 30:27

athlete, so you mean, you visit for non athletes

Molly 30:32

off the field and the yoga crowd and G two has been like a raging sucks. Yeah,

Matthew Amster-Burton 30:37

they had that I didn't get it. Although I think this Powerade might be Yes, lower calorie sugar free. Powerade.

Molly 30:42

Okay, so so hold on. I feel like I can hardly keep up with all the sub lines and categories.

Matthew Amster-Burton 30:48

So what was Gatorade rain again, Gatorade

Molly 30:50

rain was like the colorless and lighter flavored one

Matthew Amster-Burton 30:54

was it was originally and then they changed it to rain because it melted I

Molly 31:00

think, I think and then g two is the lower calorie line.

Matthew Amster-Burton 31:04

J two also the best. Low cost. rollerball pen.

Molly 31:09

Oh, is it? Yeah. Is it made by like pilot or I think it's pilot. Okay. Anyway, Matthew, I can hardly keep up. But I want to also mention that there was a big rebrand in 2010 that only lasted for a short time.

Matthew Amster-Burton 31:21


Molly 31:22

But they they relabeled original Gatorade as Gatorade, g? Yes. It didn't have enough G's in it to start with.

Matthew Amster-Burton 31:30

Sorry. And this one does say gee, it says the logo. Yeah, it says there's a winter in relatively small print.

Molly 31:37

Do you remember when the logo used to be the word Gatorade?

Matthew Amster-Burton 31:39

I do. Yes. Now it's just g light with a lightning bolt. Yes.

Molly 31:43

Because that's how fast it goes through your system. Yeah.

Matthew Amster-Burton 31:46

If you've ever if you've ever like you know, you know how you like put your thumb over the end of the garden hose. Right? If you've ever wanted to be that Gatorade is for you.

Molly 31:55

So what I really love is that Gatorade rain was for a short time Reed labeled as no excuses. Great like, I'd like some no excuses, please.

Matthew Amster-Burton 32:07

Yeah, well,

Molly 32:08

no, no excuses.

Matthew Amster-Burton 32:13

Drink or not. Like next time you come over, I'm gonna offer you a choice of no excuses. Rain. or ice. Anyway, did you were like and you'd be like, I thought rain replaced eyes like no, this bottle is from 1994

Molly 32:30

Okay, so these names were really short lived because like I said they were gonna launch this in 2010. But then I guess they learned that like the 20 like the 2009 like market share declined for Gatorade and they were like, Oh, hell no, we need to reposition our whole product.

Matthew Amster-Burton 32:47


Molly 32:48

and so then they introduced this really straightforward three, three tiered classification system Yo, okay,

Matthew Amster-Burton 32:57

so at the top is active thirst at the bottom is passive thirst. And in the middle in the middle is is like ambivalent thirst? No,

Molly 33:08

no, we have prime. Oh, one perform oh two and recover. Oh, three. You're kidding. I'm not kidding you. This was the repositioning of Gatorade. Okay, so the original Gatorade product, Gatorade, thirst, quencher plus g to the low calorie line and Gatorade power powder are all performed 02

Matthew Amster-Burton 33:30

so that's the middle tier.

Molly 33:31

That's the middle tier. Yeah, I think I think like prime 01 is like a gel. So

Matthew Amster-Burton 33:35

you're telling me tear thirst water?

Molly 33:40

Well, if you were really going to, like perform well really gonna perform well, you should have started with prime 01 which I think is like a gel that you

Matthew Amster-Burton 33:52

and they have ever marketed a Gatorade specifically for podcasters like gig pod

Molly 33:58

were athletes off the Wii or athletes off the field. Anyway, so yeah, this is we're drinking the right ones for the kind of physical exertion we're doing right now. No,

Matthew Amster-Burton 34:08

I can I can feel like that how well it matches what I'm doing right now.

Molly 34:13

Yeah. Anyway, there's also let us not forget GE to natural which is like stevia sweetened. Okay. And that one, at least for a time was available, like at Whole Foods and places like that. Anyway, we're almost done here. Thank

Matthew Amster-Burton 34:27

God, it was fine. I figured I figured we're barely getting started. There's gonna be 17 more. Okay, so there's three tiers. And we're a tier two. So what's an example of like a cover product? It's a gel. Oh, it's

Molly 34:38

a it's a gel. Yeah, so we were supposed to like squeeze that gel. Oh,

Matthew Amster-Burton 34:42

yeah. No, I didn't get

Molly 34:43

that was before we started exercising. Okay, and then while we're exercising you know, like while we are physically exerting ourselves like right now like right now. Yeah, yeah, I'm flapping my arms. Yeah, me here. We are supposed to be drinking this one. And then recover oh three, I can't remember what is in there. But that's what you're supposed to drink. Like as you come down from your physical exertion

Matthew Amster-Burton 35:09

and you need to like rebuild muscle, they burn and they ever marketed a Gatorade sexual performance line,

Molly 35:18

I'm pretty sure that all of these double as sexual performance products

Matthew Amster-Burton 35:23

because I mean

Molly 35:24

everybody loves to share some like sports gel with their partner before getting started.

Matthew Amster-Burton 35:33

Well, I mean, you could you could like can also apply it directly because they can apply that gel wherever you want. Like they're not following you.

Molly 35:40

Oh, sticky. Yeah, so good for the micro flora. Yeah. Okay, anyway. So, Matthew, no discussion of Gatorade would be complete if we didn't talk about the Gatorade shower slash the Gatorade dunk.

Matthew Amster-Burton 35:57

I did not know that I knew this. This phenomenon existed that you're supposed to pour Gatorade on your coach, if you win the big game.

Molly 36:04

Yeah, but I always thought it was just water. I mean, it's like in those big coolers and granted it does have like a Gatorade logo on it sometimes, but I just thought it was like a big thing of ice water.

Matthew Amster-Burton 36:12

No, I knew well. I mean, I I least knew that it was alleged to be gate array, but I did not know what's called the Gatorade shower. Until yesterday. I googled

Molly 36:21

haterade Yeah, like

Matthew Amster-Burton 36:22

Google googled Gatorade pour on coach and a Wikipedia article for Gatorade came up.

Molly 36:28

That's right. So this is the thing where the winning football team

Matthew Amster-Burton 36:31

smells weird

Molly 36:32

picks up the the cooler of like Gatorade and ice and dumps it over their coach and this fun tradition has been going on since the 1980s. Okay, I think if I were a football coach, I would like actively want to lose games so that this did not happen. Or just after you won the game you would run? Yeah.

Matthew Amster-Burton 36:55

Where's the coach go?

Unknown Speaker 36:57

Oh, this does this smells.

Matthew Amster-Burton 36:58

I don't like this. We're drinking the blue power. I don't I don't like it. But I really think it's the it's the like artificial sweetener. That

Molly 37:07

sweetener. So interestingly sweet. Yeah, it's like a real like tip of your tongue sweetness. Okay, Matthew, I have one last thing to say. Which is that ash told me to be sure to discuss this that no one who knows anything ever should refer to Gatorade by it's like, it's like flavor name, right? You can only refer to it by the color. And in fact, there was like a viral tweet in 2017. This is very

Matthew Amster-Burton 37:32

about this. You want to read it? If you ever meet this from an underwater point he at chips pop and a bar on Twitter. If you ever meet someone who calls Gatorade flavors, the actual name of the flavor instead of just the color they are 100% a cop true.

Molly 37:45

Yeah, I get Yeah. And yet I think I'm a cop.

Matthew Amster-Burton 37:48

What are we going to call our new favorite flavor cucumber lime green, because it's almost the same color as lemon lime. It's just a little greener.

Molly 37:57

The other thing is so this Powerade that you got is mixed berry. It looks like blue raspberry,

Matthew Amster-Burton 38:03

but I would just call this the blue power.

Molly 38:05

Right? But But isn't there like blue raspberry and mixed berry? Like they they're both blue?

Matthew Amster-Burton 38:12

Oh, I don't know. Probably. But I mean, are you gonna?

Molly 38:15

Like wouldn't cherry rush be the same color as fruit punch? Like how am I supposed to distinguish?

Matthew Amster-Burton 38:22

I think the answer is like nobody gives a shit about the actual flavor. They're just like, I'm gonna do my sports. Like my I want some I want some blue aid to go with that. And I don't care what flavor it's supposed to be because they all taste the same. Except this cucumber. What do you cover? Like?

Molly 38:42

I really want to give a shout out to Gatorade, thirst quencher lime cucumber flavor.

Matthew Amster-Burton 38:46

Yeah, if Gatorade wants to sponsor an episode, we just basically did a 45 minute ad for them.

Molly 38:52

This was delightful. I don't have to pee at possibly because I just peed and you thought it was me sky water. Or we just committed a debunking.

Matthew Amster-Burton 39:02

Oh. Already debunked. Yeah, man.

Molly 39:06

Okay, Matthew, do we have any spilled mail today? This is weird doing segments in person I mean it was segments are supposed to be like things you share with each other over the

Matthew Amster-Burton 39:14

computer. I think we're gonna need to like shave off some segments Okay, like we could talk about it off air but like i think there may be some segments that have run their course. I don't know some people like we tell people to get in touch and tell us whether they like segments or not. Nobody has possibly cuz that episode hasn't aired yet at the time we're recording this one but I don't know let's see if we can do segments today. I don't have any spelled male but I hear you have a cute animal.

Molly 39:44

Ah, here we go. This was sent to me by dusty clown men Shrock on Instagram. Thank you so much. dusty, dusty, said perhaps a cute animal you need to know and sent me this wonderful video. of a Sea Otter having its temperature checked, okay, and what I really want you to note is this sweet demure thing it does with its hands alright Matthew is gesture you're supposed to be talking about it and oh right

Matthew Amster-Burton 40:15

oh so they're they're taking a temperature with with like just the temperature gun but they but

Molly 40:21

it opens its

Matthew Amster-Burton 40:22

mouth opens its mouth so they can like take the temperature of its of its like throat and then and then it puts its little hands up to it's up to its mouth like oh oh my god it's really cute and it's from the it's from the the account floofy art

Molly 40:37

yes cuz yes the original video

Matthew Amster-Burton 40:39

every every otter is a work of floofy art in my opinion.

Molly 40:43

Look at this booper that

Matthew Amster-Burton 40:45

is truly a blooper.

Molly 40:47

Oh, God. Okay, I think that might be our last animal you need to know

Matthew Amster-Burton 40:52

but I mean people people are always posting cute animals you need to know on the Reddit Reddit comm slash are slash everything spelled Melaka you can keep like throwing cute animals at each other. We wouldn't dare to put a stop to now I

Molly 41:04

think the more more cute animals the merrier.

Matthew Amster-Burton 41:06

No, maybe we should like come into the Reddit which we do not control and just try to lay down an edict like no more toward animals, people of love.

Molly 41:14

Okay, Matthew, how about Did you do it now? But Wow. Which I think is a segment we should continue?

Matthew Amster-Burton 41:20

Yeah, I think we should.

As many people know, I really enjoy reading romance novels.

Molly 41:32

I've been reading my first ever romance. Oh,

Matthew Amster-Burton 41:35

I want to hear about that.

Molly 41:36

I've been reading one last stop by Casey McQuiston. Oh, yeah. Yeah,

Matthew Amster-Burton 41:39

I think I think teenager the show December either just read I think just read that and really liked. Yeah, it's Katie Couric was the author of red, red, white and royal blue. Is that right? So

Molly 41:51

like queer romance novels? This one one last stop has like a magical element.

Matthew Amster-Burton 41:57


Molly 41:58

And I've been listening to it actually as an audio book on libra.fm. Which I really love. And yeah, go on Matthew.

Matthew Amster-Burton 42:06

My but that's not the one I'm recommending the book I'm recommending for now. But Wow. It's called simmer down by Sarah Smith. And it is a contemporary romance set in Hawaii in the world of food trucks and the heroine runs a Filipino food truck and has run in with the annoying guy who parks his food truck in her spot and sparks fly.

Molly 42:29

Ooh, that sounds really fun. It's not because there's like a broken flat top or something like that.

Matthew Amster-Burton 42:36

There's an issue with the with the spark plugs that they need to gap the spark plugs, well good feeler gauges.

Molly 42:43

Our producer is happy circuit.

Matthew Amster-Burton 42:46

And you can rate and review us wherever you got your podcasts. And you can find us on the Reddit at Reddit comm slash are slash everything spilled milk, chat with other people who listened to the show.

Molly 42:58

Thank you for listening to spilled milk.

Matthew Amster-Burton 43:01

That show that that goes through your brain and n

Molly 43:06

times faster than through

Matthew Amster-Burton 43:09

your brain out the other side. Is that how you would say that in one ear and out the other 12 times faster than any other podcasts?

Molly 43:16

I'm Molly wise and bird. I'm

Matthew Amster-Burton 43:17

Matthew Amster-Burton.

Molly 43:24

Oh man, Matthew,

Unknown Speaker 43:25

you know after

Matthew Amster-Burton 43:26

I don't think I have sick clean glass

Molly 43:28

after Oh, no, no, it's fine. Let's each just have one glass. Okay, let's each have one glass. Yeah. And then we're going to dump the excess into a bucket if we don't want to finish it or we don't want to urinate. Okay,

Matthew Amster-Burton 43:42

no, in the way.

Molly 43:44

You were recording that whole time? Yeah. Oh, great. Okay.